Annual evaluation is the time to celebrate the greatness in each of us and to give credit where credit is long over-due. Our annual evaluation consists of three sections — Objectives (34%), Competencies (33%), and Shared values (33%). Whatever they include in the form reflect whatever they value in the employees.

The competencies section includes –
(1) Uses technical/functional experience
(2) Demonstrates adaptability
(3) Uses sound judgments
(4) Shows work commitment
(5) Commits to quality
(6) Leadership Competencies

The shared values section includes –
(1) Customer Service
(2) Accountability
(3) New Ideas
(4) Communication
(5) Energy
(6) Results
(7) Collaboration
(8) Analytical Thinking
(9) Respect for Others
(10) Ethical Standards

Assessment scales are (1) Exceeds expectations (2) Meet expectations (3) Needs improvement. I gave myself the best possible rating on some of them. We are expected to give second rating on all of them, otherwise, we should add comments to either above or below expectation. I left the following comments –
“I am accountable, ethical, responsible, honest, respectful, going out of my way to bring joys to others. On top of all this, when I do the right thing, it is not because I think I should but because I want to do it. As always, I cannot see myself otherwise…”

I know I have a lot laurels to adorn my head, but I have not claim them all. Still, my daughter thinks I kinda of bragging. No, I am not. I am just being honest. Think this way, if you don’t see your own value, who else will? It does nobody good if you are devalued in your own eyes.

An HR manager started talking about annual evaluation with this opening statement, “I know nobody likes annual evaluation. Well, it’s this time of the year.” I wonder why people don’t like giving self-credit.

This happened on 12/14/2009. This is one of those days you wish you stayed home. The pharmacy head was very upset with me on that Monday morning over the unannounced visit of monitor at their place, on Friday 12/11/2009. She said, “Next time when you have a monitor visit to the pharmacy, you need to give us at least 48 hours advance notice. Last Friday she came at 11 o’clock, the busiest time of the day and that screwed up everything.”

The fact is the monitor did make an unannouned visit to pharmacy, but she visited there around 10 AM, for about 15 minutes and left the clinic before 11 AM. Also, pharmacy could have told the monitor to come back some other time if they were busy at the moment. The pharmacy head was not in the office last Friday.

When you opened the pharmacy door to visitors, you complained about their visit, which is ridiculous because you have the option and initiative of not opening that door in the first place. Still, I kept explaining and saying “I am sorry.” Obviously, no explanation and apologies are needed as she still sent me away with these words — “You just cannot dump them into us any time you want.” Guess I should not be sorry at all. I wish I heard better words than this when I left. I wish I had said “FINE. I AM NOT SORRY.”

It is not a pleasant incident for posting.Still, it is what it is and I want to record it for my children and tell them that I do learn something from this. That is, I learn at least how people feel when they offer apology but their apology is NOT accepted. It doesn’t take an angel to be forgiving. But it certainly gives one an angelic touch when we forget and forgive. Do it when we can.

The story goes like this. A young man works for a bike repair shop. He always goes above and beyond in his job. That is, he not only fixes the problem that customer points out, but any parts and places that need service, literally transforming a second-hand bike into an almost brand new one. Some of his colleagues think him silly. Not long after, one of his former customers offers him a position at his company, an upward mobility.

A friend of mine complains of her bad luck all the time. She is in the habit of opening her mouth with this words, “See how unlucky I am today…” According to this friend of mine, some duck has all the lucks and this young man is one of those lucky ducks.

If anything, the young man’s experience reveals this to us — your go-above-and-beyond attitude will inevitably bring you good luck. Thus, instead of blaming your “bad luck, work on your attitude.

I had a very interesting email exchange with the training and development manager in our company on 12/31/2009. When we were asked to have four people doing assessment on our leadership skills, I wrote to her, voicing my objections. I told her frankly that I don’t like the idea of letting others assess me. Why?

(1) I believe I know myself best and I can be as objective as I should be in judging myself. You can challenge my objectivity as much as I challenge that of other people’s.

(2) It is human nature that people can accept pleasantly anything unpleasant about themselves if only it comes from their own mouths. e.g. if I am fat and plain, it is perfectly okay if I mention my extra pounds but boy, how mad we would be if we hear it from others.

(3) Even worse, people tend to feel a bit resentful when they hear negative comments on themselves or get a lower rating. That’s why I always ask my children to do self-evaluation.

If we trust that our employees have the ability to assess themselves, why not handing over this tool to the employees instead of having others do it on them? What is the consequence of not trusting them? Damaging on all fronts. What is the consequence of not having an objective self-assessment? Nothing but lack of intellectual maturity. But the process might help them know themselves better and reach the level of mental maturity that they should have.

Finally, I believe it is always the best policy to have people do their own self-evaluation or assessment. Same can be said of our children.

It happened again right after New Year break on the Monday of 1/4/2010, in the holiday spirit. A co-worker could not find something and deadly believed that I took and lost it. I was at another clinic today. Still that would not stop the barking of a mad rarity. To say I was not disturbed by the uncivilized outburst is a lie, even though I am aware of the fact that we are not on the same level on all aspects and I should block her out of my radar of attention.

I shared the experience with my daughter, who told me that I should tell the manager. There is a difference between school and company, though I don’t like adult way of settling differences either. To record this event, I wish this co-worker adopt the following New Year Resolution.

(1) Stop accusing others when you don’t have any evidence
(2) Stop treating others less than human
(3) Stop yelling when you can talk
(4) Stop acting like a brainless high school bully in work place

P.S. I shared my writing with a friend of mine who cannot understand why I don’t rise up in arms and fight. I don’t risk my peace of mind this easily. Honestly, this is the only really bad egg in the pot and I have never been in it.

Yesterday was a cold Saturday. I went to a friend’s house, where we talked about economy or rather the bad economy and severe unemployment. She told me of one of her acquaintance who used to be an architect but has lost his job for some time. The guy has been home waiting for some architect job openings. Luckily the wife still has the job.

This is so typical with not a few people who have lost their job but refuse to adjust their expectations and get back to work force in whatever form they can. If they cannot find a job relating to their educational background, find whatever job in the market as long as there is paycheck, unless the guy is willing to be a stay-home dad. Otherwise, anything is better than staying home and waiting…

I told my friend that the guy got to have some other skills that he can sell. All he needs is to make an inventory of his skills and expertise and check these skills against job market. Once he finds a match, go full speed selling his skills. One step back, if the guy has no marketable skills, try and get some training or re-education. Trust me the combinations of these two assets — skills and initiative– can eventually take you to your destination and much much farther than that.

My daughter heard the story, commenting, “The guy got to change his course if that road has no outlet.”

On 11/9, at about 10 AM Monday morning, one colleague from another office sent an email me, saying another colleague of ours was not in today. Later in the afternoon, when I went to the other office, hurriedly doing some work, one colleague talked to me in a very nebulous term. “You know it’s hard for one person to do it all, if you have only yourself. You have something you got to do yourself and have nobody to turn to.”

At first I thought she meant it was hard for me to do it all since I was the only one in that office today. I was wondering, “Strange. How come she suddenly cares about me? It’s so unlike her.” I was going to say, “Not that bad since we don’t have monitor today,” but when she mentioned her husband who had a flexible work schedule so that she did not have to do it all, I realized she meant the other absent colleague, who couldn’t come because she did not have anyone to turn to and got to do something today. She did not need to explain this to me at all, as I don’t care whoever came or not.

It is so interesting how the event turns and how erroneous was my assumption. Then I don’t understand why she was so evasive, if she was so eager to explain. Why not simply said, she couldn’t come because she had to do this or that during weekday. I know she wanted to find some excuse for her absence but she did not want to reveal the exact why.

I must be too bored to record this. But then, it might be an interesting read later. At least a break from a boring day. The next day, something of this nature occurred again. On the morning of 11/10, a colleague of mine told me secretly that another colleague got fired this morning. Both of us were deeply disturbed at seeing her go and wondering why. “Because many people don’t like her and monitors complain of the work she has messed up. She messed up with many things, so the manager has to let her go” was the answer. We were thinking who would take her place when the phone rang. It turned out that the so-called “fired” employee was joking. None got fired at all so far, but she might because of this joke. She was just being bored and extremely stupid. She reminds me so much of the book Then We Came to the End: A Novel by Joshua Ferris.

Work is a constant learning process. On 11/11, when a colleague of mine offered me some chocolate cookies, she said, “You will be as fat as me after you eat them all.” I said, “No I won’t.” She said, “You are not supposed to say so. You are supposed to say, ‘No, you are not fat. You are just like me.’”

A friend of mine asked me for a picture of my office. Here’s a corner of it.
First day of the last month for the year 2009, with a crazy week ahead, auditors plus monitor plus training plus exam on Friday and another monitor visit on that day. Last month of the year is always the busiest one — the beginning of it all today.

This happened nearly a year ago or even earlier than that, before my partner moved away. She was explaining something to me that I already knew. The phrase that I learned back in China came to my mind — don’t try to teach your Grandma how to suck eggs — and it was so funny that I couldn’t help showing smile on my face.

She caught me smiling and asked “Why do you smile? Tell me.” “I was trying to figure out what you think,” was my answered. “What am I thinking now? Tell me,” she asked.

The way she asked sounded like ordering me, but I could see she was intrigued. Nosy plus bossy. Still, I would not tell her. “If there is one person who truly knows what you are thinking, that person is you.” “No, I want to know what you think,” insisted she. “Nothing. I was thinking of nothing,” with that I left for my room.

I find it hard to forget this piece of dialogue. It reveals so much about people. Why do people care to know what others think of them? Does it matter that much? Didn’t she know that I would not tell her the truth if I let myself open my mouth? Couldn’t she see her own arrogance and condescending attitude when she talked to me, which blocked any sincere conversation?

Honest, this attitude brought smile on my face in the first place. For my children, treating people as equal is the key to any meaningful dialogue or conversation, regardless where you are, at home or at work.

I read from U.S. News and World Report on 11/13 an article about undesirable co-workers.

1. They dump last-minute work on people when they could have avoided doing so.
2. Complain about people without telling them directly.
3. Exude negativity, finding faults in whatever others say, in the habit of negating any input.
4. Bring personal life to the office in ways that make people uncomfortable.
5. Being chronically defensive, so that nobody will bother to tell them when they make mistakes.

What a short and sweet list! That’s already stink enough for being one bad egg. I am too familiar with people demonstrating all of the above. They are best at making a hell of your day. They are so much miserable to be around. One co-worker of mine is very touchy and inflammable at a hint of a mistake that she makes so that I once suggested jokingly that that bad egg should go to other clinics. In Chinese, lao hu pi hu me bu de — they are like tigers whose buttocks are untouchable.

For my children, get rid of any of these traits if you find yourself so unpleasantly possessing any of them. Otherwise, remain free from them. I will make sure they read this and avoid them in their future work. Even better, they might never find themselves in the similar work environment as I do.

The lack of civility and too much insolent behavior seem to charaterize some part of office experience, unforgetful and endless source of amusement.

It happened a few months ago, still every time I think of it, I find it interesting and worth recording. Seeing me taking the leadership workshop, some co-worker asked me why I took it, was it because I wanted to be a supervisor. The question was put forward with a mixture of curiosity and ridicule. Indeed, isn’t that absurd that I should ever take a leadership workshop when I am perceived as somene to be led, one of the herd, instead of a lead of the herd?

Honest, I think it takes some naive guts and brainless bravery to even come out with this question. I could easily detect the thinly veiled contempt shown on the face of the speaker. I appreciate the honesty and frankness. Not really unpleasant when you are so entertained. I am too used to it. It is called adaptation. For now, I feel so much better for having explained to that person the difference between leaders and managers. “Em, interesting,” was the answer. That means I have taught someone something new, like it or not. Even more intriguing.

End of a passing thought for this Monday morning.

Yesterday I went back home around 3 PM, then took my daughter to skating place. On the way back home, we passed my work place, so I stopped by to take care of some small business. It was nearly 6 PM. I was surprised to see at least two doctors were still hard at work on patients’ charts. I realized one of them came to the office around 7 AM in the morning. Indeed, no exaggeration, I feel like seeing Lei Feng back to life.

I thought of the department meeting on Thursday when the manager emphasized the observing of proper lunch break, that is, do not take too long break. Talk about work place culture, I realize there are surely good exceptions. There are people of two extremes — the dedicated few with noble souls who only care about patients and their work on one side of spectrum; and people who can’t wait for the end of their 8 working hours and leave on the other side. I have see a co-worker left office at the moment when a patient called. “Let them leave a message. I need to go home.”

I wish I were one of these dedicated few. As it is, I am not. I can only record this observation and someday share it with my children, hoping they will have a chance in the future.

Something happened in the nature of deviating from standard practice by at least two people at work place on 11/3. We expected two monitors for our company this week for one study. One was sick, so the other asked us to see if she could come to our site on the day she was not scheduled to and we had monitors from another company on that day. I told monitor no. Mostly because a monitor should always make schedule change via project managers, which she did not.

Meanwhile, one colleague of mine went ahead checking to see if we could accommodate monitors from two companies. This happened before where monitor short-circuited PM and went to the clinic directly for site visit. I remember how upset the PM was over this bypass. So I tried to stay out of it as much as I could, as I was more concerned with proper procedure than efficiency.

Indeed, oh how she was upset from her email that I opened the next morning — reiterating to both monitor and us that she was “still to be the primary contact for scheduling monitor visits.” The other co-worker couldn’t understand why the PM made a big deal of it. You would think it more efficient if a shortcut is found and taken, but you violate procedural rules.

It is very important to keep in mind that American society is dominated by procedural rules. An extreme case is a murderer could be set free if the prosecutor violates procedural rules in the process. A criminal must be proved guilty by the legal procedure. Work place in America over-emphasizes the proper procedure for any work process, resulting in lack of flexibility sometimes, or sacrificing substance and efficiency. Be fully aware of these procedural rules. Violation of this could offend people and get into trouble even if you have every good intention of getting a job done.

I was asked to give my observations of the culture of our company. I started with some disclaimant to any observations, which include the following.

(1) What one observes is the culture of one department, which does not necessarily represent the whole companies.

(2) It is further restricted by the small scale of people that come into contact with one person on daily basis, which means this small scale is not representative of the whole department.

(3) Any personal perception is very much biased, thus very subjective and unreliable, taken with some reservation.

Keeping this in mind, here are my observations of our clinic:
(1) Most people at our clinic have the good intention of doing the right thing everyday. But that does not mean they actually do what they intend to do.

(2) People are overwhelmingly cheerful and happy with their work, as indicated by the scarcity of complaints.

(3) Most people are very strictly business-like and professional, especially the doctors who never waste breath talking with others.

(4) There are persistent isolated negative forces around some particular persons who tend to blame others, gossip behind people, deviate from the standard practice. Then, again, wherever there is social group, such forces are inevitable.

I throw out these observation, without expecting to be a tiny bit understood by whoever read it.

It is so funny that both of these should occur on the same day. Yesterday morning, we had a meeting introducing another must-take-annual-training-course “Just Culture.” I had a great expectation before meeting, but was disappointed after that.

I thought it was going to be focused on being positive and respectful, no gossip and dirty language at work place. Got really excited over the change of office culture. Instead, it emphasized on being legal and lawful, doing nothing against rules, regulation, laws and orders. Do not do anything to get us into legal trouble. The purpose is to create a culture in which everybody automatically follows laws and rules. This is actually another version of compliance training.

In the morning, something rather unpleasant happened because of lack of a good work place culture. A colleague asked me about a patient. I wrote back saying it was not my patient. She wrote back saying I should do this or that, even if it were not yours. When I went to her office to explain, both the office dwellers said the same thing to me, and even worse.

I was extremely upset over their undisguised arrogance and immediately wrote an email but did not send. Why don’t people use “Can you …” instead of “you should …” as if they were some kind of boss barking out commands when they are nothing of this sort and are in no position to tell me what I should or should not? I resent greatly this kind of bossy attitude.

One step forward, even if they were boss, respect is still in high demand. Why is respect so much obviously absent among people who dress like going to Sunday church? The discrepancy between the appearance and the behavior defies explanation.

What a just culture or lack of it or whatever you name it! I shared this office experience with my daughter in the evening. She told me not to let it bother me, “Not worthwhile to think more of it.” I wrote to a friend of mine who wrote to me with this …

“I wish so badly you weren’t treated with such disrespect there… I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that the situation improves and that things will blow over!”

Now dust has settled and peace finally returns.

P.S. I am currently reading a book on American work place culture, Then We Came to the End: A Novel by Joshua Ferris. A depressingly true presentation.

The doctor next door to my office was Women Who Mean Business honoree for the year 2008, chosen by Kansas City Business Journal. She is the only doctor in the list. She is one of the few doctors here who is easy to get along and has the least air of importance around her. Sometimes, I was wondering why other doctors couldn’t be like her. Now I know why.

On 10/15, one of my colleagues sent out an email, asking us if we would do something for our boss on the Boss’s day, like what they did last year, inviting the boss for lunch. I turned it down flatly as I am straightly against any activities that aim at bootlicking your superior and sacrifice my integrity, even though everybody does it and makes it a tradition here.

Last week, a big mistake committed by a colleague came to my attention. But as it was not up to me to point it out, I chose not to say anything to that person. I confirmed my view with another colleague of mine, who properly revealed the issue to some related person who wrote the doctor, without getting me involved. Alas, it takes so much to bring it into the broad light.

Yesterday I copied and gave my posting on work hard and spend harder to one of my colleagues, who asked for my blog site and was turned down. “You must have written about me on your blog,” said she. Well, on hindsight, I should not have shared so much in the first place, though I have nothing to hide from her.

The World Health Organization has called chronic job stress a “worldwide epidemic.” Work-related stress seems a part of modern life and culture, especially if one has to work in a company. Facing constant threat of layoff and deadlines, encountering and dodging unagreeable people everyday, modern stressful life causes stomach-irritation, appetite-ruining, sleep-deprivation, fatigue syndrome, general decline of health, and even cancer.

If you have choice, you can leave the stressful position and go with some less stressful one. Yet, for most of us, stress-free job is simply not an option. Still, no need to be pessimistic. There is forever one thing that is within your control, your attitude, regardless of your environment. Yes, you can always choose an attitude and a mentality, that gravitates to stress-free and to your health and benefit.

This is from a monitor who used to work for US government, that is, for CDC. Now he is working for a private company. This is what he told me. “It never pays well if you work for government or for university. Only private practice pays well. The tradeoff is you have more security working for government or university but not enough to live well. You got paid well working for private practice but never have the same level of job security.”

This is true in the past, but I am not sure how things are now and how it will be in the future. Also, I realize he has to travel for 80% of his working time, away from home, from his responsibility as a father. Because of this I would say he has to pay dearly for his well-paid job. Yes, the cost of his well-paid job is the joy of his family and the hardship of constant travel.

Life consists of so many tradeoffs, though not always of equal value. We always compromise, sacrifice or give up something in order to gain something else. I hope my children will follow a rather different path from that of this monitor and will take whatever job, government or private, as long as they don’t have to compromise the joy of their families.

A company that I know of has an internal newsletter, which is supposed to be something relevant and interesting to the rank-and-file employees. Instead, it has become the showcase of the company and the upper management. It is getting more and more irrelevant to the employees, not even providing short fillers to entertain, so much so that some people trash it without opening. Now, the MyNewsLetter is better known as myBossNewsletter, as the newsletter writer, being hired by the upper management, seems to succumb herself to be a mere mouthpiece of those who pay for her.

This MyNewsletter, being severely lack of job integrity, reminds me so much of the newspaper in China a quarter of a century ago. At that time publications served wholly for party’s propagation, with newspaper being the direct mouthpiece of the controlling party. Things are a whole lot better now in China.

It is a great pity that the newsletter writer abandons a more interesting route, that is, go to each work sites, meet people, talk with those working down grass-root level, read what the customers write about the employees, seek out stories, and scoop something news-worthy enough for people to read. Indeed, life is as interesting as we represent it.

In applying for CCRP exam, I had to write a description of my job. Hence I scribbled the following incomplete and much simplifiied list, which excluded any unpleasant details that is also part of the job. Such as dealing untoward persons everywhere. I am amazed at how much I have to handle or how much fun that I should enjoy.

(1) Review extensively physician and clinical documentations, lab results, CT reports, pathology reports, and treatment plans in patient’s medical record to verify and process data.
(2) Ensure accuracy, integrity, compatibility, and compliance of data in accordance with related federal rules and regulations and industry’s standard practice.
(3) Capture all related identified or de-identified clinical research data
(4) Prepare for and assist federal, sponsor and network company audits and monitoring activities.
(5) Function as the contact at the clinic for auditing and data monitoring activities.
(6) Participates in education, training and activities regarding clinic research.
(7) Resolve and handle data discrepancies with sponsors
(8) Process sponsor regulatory documents at the clinic level
(9) Obtain medical records from outside facilities when needed
(10) Update company’s internal clinical trial management system
(11) Response to sponsors’ request for medical data
(12) Maintain open communications with physicians, project managers, nurses, clinicians and sponsors to clarify, verify, confirm data and ensure the proper documentation, data integrity, and accurate and complete collection of subject data.
(13) Maintain open communications with monitors to clarify data and resolve data discrepancies.
(14) Develop and enhance internal data verification and collection system
…
I surely do not suffer from lack of diversities.

To be sure, we do need some help occasionally at work, but whom to go for help is an art in itself and that gives me some thought about parenting and about how we give help. You got to know the person really well before venturing out. Not fun to figure that out, but a necessary evil.

There are two co-workers that I have heard of. People normally go to one and only one if people have any questions and avoid the other one as best as they can. The other one will surely chew you thoroughly out as soon as you approach her with some questions. Very touchy, irritating, cantankerous, any unpleasant term that you can dig out. You can feel she jumps over you simply at the thought of going to her. The worst part is you never know what she will do next, just to make sure you are having a hell of time.

The puzzle is she is totally unaware of how much she tortures others this way. Her attitude serves as a never-failed mirror, showing people how not to behave like this when we give out help as parents or co-workers. Sometimes, I feel a strong urge to reveal this baby-simple truth to this co-worker — each of us is extremely limited in our ability to help and to make difference in brief span of time on this hugely polluted planet. But I prefer to keep it to myself.

For my children, embrace each opportunity to reach out and help. Well, make sure not to over-reach any boundary that you might bump into.