It is unfortunate to all of us that she does not know that she should allow the speaker to finish his sentence before blurting out hers, no matter how useless her words are. She has never learned to raise her hand when she feels the urge to replace the speaker’s voice. She routinely interrupts speaker at will.

This rude meeting behavior openly shows disrespect for the speaker and shamelessly forces everybody in the meeting to focus attention on her instead of on the speaker.

A meeting is not supposed to be an arena for people to showcase themselves or to grab people’s attention or to emphasize how incompetent the speaker is.

The sad part is not that she fails to follow the standard meeting etiquette but she even feels jubilant and triumphant each time she thinks she beats out the speaker. Does it really take so much guts and maturity to behave like a real adult, instead of a three-year-old?

By the way, I wrote the above during the meeting.

Since my daughter has piano lesson on Thursday at 5, I called yesterday to see if they could narrow the window to 6 to 7 PM.

First of all, it took me over 30 minutes to finally get hold of someone over the phone. The Time Warner guy told me he could not change the window. If I could not make it, he could get me some other day. That seemed to be the last straw. I had already waited for a few days and he still would not be flexible enough to accommodate me.

I told him I was going to close my account and look for other high speed internet services. He told me he would connect me to their customer service girl, who proved to be worse than I imagined.

She said, “You are free to go to other companies, but you will have to wait for several days no matter where you go. You can’t just get it whenever you want.” Though she yielded to my request a little bit and pushed back the window for today, her attitude was far from apologetic and friendly. In fact, her attitude was so unfriendly that I felt like having tasted something worse than anything you can imagine.

We have been Time Warner customer for many years. This is the first time their modem gave us trouble. Had I looked around for other companies this Monday instead of waiting and calling for a change of time, I could have avoided such an unpleasant encounter with Time Warner folks. Now I learn my lesson.

While we don’t have many chances to make major mistakes and total the job of ruining our reputation, we do face the possibilities of chipping away our professional image in the workplace, by behaving a little bit unprofessionally.

First line of breakdown: communications skills, written and oral ones, and the content of your communication, especially the sensitive area of email. The trick of a good communication is to get into the habit of using formal language and avoid any non-work related content. Another trick: email as less as possible.

Second line, your behavior in public or at meetings, another danger zone. Better qualities to display at the meeting are attentiveness and inquisitiveness. Interrupt your boss or embarrass the boss in a meeting will quickly earn you a bad reputation.

Third one, a good working relationships with your manager. This is a tricky one. The trick is not to openly nurturing a good relationship with your boss. Because you run the risk of ruining your relationships with coworkers. After all, you don’t want to be known as a boot-licker.

I thought of another party in which one of my co-workers spit out a large quantity of stupid vulgar expressions, most horrifying to all present, which I believe she would rather keep to herself if she had not over-drunk at the party. Her stupidity at the party provides fertile food for gossips long after the party and of course embarrassment to her children at least. This behavior makes me think of sociological theories on crowd mentality and herd behavior.

For some people, it seems the larger the crowd, the crazier they become and the more they let loose of themselves. It reminds me of the behavior of a three-year-old who acts up and seems out of control when there are guests in the house. It is funny some adults never outgrow kindergarten behavior.

Don’t make a fool of yourself while having a good time. Remember losing control is no fun.

From the conversation I learned one trick of getting rid of an employee is to write up high expectations for his/her performance. If that employee fails to meet the high benchmark, fire that person. My colleague used to be a boss with a dozen employees under her. When her boss asked her to play this trick on two of her persons, she thought it unfair and refused to follow. As the result, her boss fired her.

Many people complained of her boss, a woman with an extraordinary controlling finesse, but nobody could do anything about her. Here’s what she did in order to get her way. She engaged in indecent relationships with nearly all the upper level management so that they were afraid that she might file sexual harassment lawsuit if they fired her.

Who says life is boring. This is nothing but boring if you happen to meet a boss like this one.

It is a touchy situation as I am fully aware of the fact that xyz is not easy to work with and will be mad if I do what the monitor has asked me to. So, I asked my colleague what she would do in this situation. She read the monitor’s email and said, “Forward the email to xyz and let her do it. That’s what I would do.”

Oh boy, this would be the last thing that I would do because xyz would be wondering why the monitor asked me regarding her patients instead of asking her directly, as if my arms were so long that I had reached into the depth of her domain of control. What was going on behind her back? Were we gossiping about her? she would bombard me with endless questions. This is like begging for trouble for both monitor and me. Do I need troubles? No.

At first I was thinking of writing to the monitor, explaining to her my dilemma. Then I thought it better not to commit it in writing. You never know what the monitor will do with my email when I mean for her own reading. So I picked up the phone. Luckily she was on the other side of the phone at the moment. I explained to her why it was not proper for me to get involved, which she understands perfectly, given her own experience with xyz. I suggested that she email xyz and cc our project manager and even our department manager. If this won’t work, she should call our manager. Always go one level up instead of going horizontally when you try to resolve some issues. She appreciates my suggestion greatly and did what I told her.

After that, I shared this experience with my daughter, hoping she could understand this simple fact – when working with difficult persons, it takes some tactics to ward off troubles and enjoy happy endings.

Money is often the ultimate motive behind our daily activities, regardless where we work. Make no mistake about this. Yet, we seem to expect healthcare providers to be more than someone being driven by profit, as if they were saints. Are we expecting too much? At least I am.

My children’s previous piano teacher was full of complaints about the attitude of the doctor who treated her husband’s cancer. “He talked without any compassion,” said she. I also witnessed some people at our clinic who are very single-minded in their coming to the clinic everyday. This doctor happened to work at our clinic.

Coming from the background where Dr. Norman Bethune was a household name, resulting from being strongly recommended in Mao Zedong’s article, “In Memory of Norman Bethune,” I have expected nothing short of a humanitarian figure with expert in medical science from our physicians. Imagine how distant I am from reality. Well, it gives such a cozy feeling to live way above the clouds.

I once told a friend of mine that she would be bitterly disappointed if she expected to see people like Bethune or like Dr. Elton Lehman in House Calls and Hitching Posts: Stories from Dr. Elton Lehman’s career among the Amish. To be sure, they are good professionals in their own way, only if we ourselves have not idealized them out of proportion.

“Is your son married?” she asked.
“No, he is only 21,” was my answer.
“People get married at that age. Where does he work?” was her next question.
“He is not working,” I was getting a bit annoyed at her question.
“What is he doing? Just stay home?” she further asked, getting more and more stupid.
“No. He goes to college,” said I.
“Oh.” she seemed to be surprised over my answer.

To her, going to college doesn’t seem an option for a 21-year-old. Isn’t that amazing!
“Did you ever work with a Chinese before?” I asked her.
“No,” came her answer.

No wonder she brought up so many not-wise questions. I have never met a Chinese here whose children do not go to college. Meanwhile, many Americans at our clinic only have an associate degree, not even a bachelor. Their children are no better than this. Now I should not be surprised to confront questions like the above. Still, I am not comfortable with the assumption behind her questions.

(1) Reading your emails. All your emails sent through company email account are potentially exposed to your employer’s scrutiny. So be careful what you send there.

(2) Phone-monitoring. This is to keep track of your phone use, to whom you call and how much time you spend chatting over the phone during work hours. This is understandable. After all, who would pay you to chat with friends?

(3) A CCTV (closed-circuit TV) system is cheaply installed so that you can be watched all the time to make sure scandals like Clinton-Lewinsky won’t surface in your office. After all, it is your office not bedroom.

All these remind me of George Orwell’s book Nineteen Eighty-Four published in 1949 and the Big Brothers hover over your head invisibly — something to keep in mind while at work.

“What did your dog say to you this morning before you leave for work?” I asked.
“My dog said, ‘Don’t bark. Be good and get home safe and sound,’” said she.

I imagined this dialog and was thinking of sending it to her, but I withheld myself. It has been nine months since she barked at our office. The experience is still vividly before my eyes. I seem to have an excellent memory for spicy event like this one.

This year our company let go of the same number of people as it did last year, plus some staff shifting among its satellite sites. As the result, I began working with a new colleague since last week. Normally, the rule of layoff is last-in first-out. This person told me yesterday that she joined the company after those who just got laid off but still had her job now. “It is because I can do both project manager and CRC job.”

In fact, she can do a lot more than this. She has been involved in staff training, project management, clinical research, meeting federal auditors, etc. Thus, she can be placed anywhere there is a need.

Unless you are the rare expert in one field, versatility, being able to play multiple roles, makes you more valuable to the company than your single-skilled colleagues and less vulnerable in times of recession.

This feeling was quickly confirmed during one of our monthly research meetings that morning, that is, two people in our department were let go starting that day. I felt sick when I thought of one of them who just had his second baby last year and was in great need of his paycheck. It is a totally business-driven decision. I thought of how he was joking around, cheerful and carefree. Everybody present that day seemed to get the message loud and clear because nobody uttered a sound after the announcement. It has been a few days after the announcement and I still have not got over the initial shock of the news. I feel sad for him as I realize this is the bad time to look for jobs and he can’t afford not to have one.

The message that I drew from this layoff reinforced what I always believe while holding any position for others. Hold fast to my own personal agenda. It could happen to anyone of us. Be prepared.

(1) I don’t understand why she fights with the manager or with anyone for that matter? She takes care of her responsibility while manager takes care of hers, strictly business or professional. How could a fight burst out between them?

(2) Managers are human, too. As any fight tends to create a hard feeling between persons involved, fight with the manager will inevitably make it uncomfortable for the two to talk to each other. Indeed, this is the case now.

It is really not a matter of who-is-afraid-of-who but how to have a pleasant work environment. By the end of the day, I must say a fight hurt us more than hurting anybody else. Therefore, avoid fight as much as we can. Don’t be the first one to raise voice. If we are upset over some grievances, instead of fight, talk or learn to express ourselves in the way that does not make people uncomfortable. Don’t take anything at work personal. Talking is the skill that we must be equipped at work place.

The competencies section includes –
(1) Uses technical/functional experience
(2) Demonstrates adaptability
(3) Uses sound judgments
(4) Shows work commitment
(5) Commits to quality
(6) Leadership Competencies

The shared values section includes –
(1) Customer Service
(2) Accountability
(3) New Ideas
(4) Communication
(5) Energy
(6) Results
(7) Collaboration
(8) Analytical Thinking
(9) Respect for Others
(10) Ethical Standards

Assessment scales are (1) Exceeds expectations (2) Meet expectations (3) Needs improvement. I gave myself the best possible rating on some of them. We are expected to give second rating on all of them, otherwise, we should add comments to either above or below expectation. I left the following comments –
“I am accountable, ethical, responsible, honest, respectful, going out of my way to bring joys to others. On top of all this, when I do the right thing, it is not because I think I should but because I want to do it. As always, I cannot see myself otherwise…”

I know I have a lot laurels to adorn my head, but I have not claim them all. Still, my daughter thinks I kinda of bragging. No, I am not. I am just being honest. Think this way, if you don’t see your own value, who else will? It does nobody good if you are devalued in your own eyes.

An HR manager started talking about annual evaluation with this opening statement, “I know nobody likes annual evaluation. Well, it’s this time of the year.” I wonder why people don’t like giving self-credit.

The fact is the monitor did make an unannouned visit to pharmacy, but she visited there around 10 AM, for about 15 minutes and left the clinic before 11 AM. Also, pharmacy could have told the monitor to come back some other time if they were busy at the moment. The pharmacy head was not in the office last Friday.

When you opened the pharmacy door to visitors, you complained about their visit, which is ridiculous because you have the option and initiative of not opening that door in the first place. Still, I kept explaining and saying “I am sorry.” Obviously, no explanation and apologies are needed as she still sent me away with these words — “You just cannot dump them into us any time you want.” Guess I should not be sorry at all. I wish I heard better words than this when I left. I wish I had said “FINE. I AM NOT SORRY.”

It is not a pleasant incident for posting.Still, it is what it is and I want to record it for my children and tell them that I do learn something from this. That is, I learn at least how people feel when they offer apology but their apology is NOT accepted. It doesn’t take an angel to be forgiving. But it certainly gives one an angelic touch when we forget and forgive. Do it when we can.

A friend of mine complains of her bad luck all the time. She is in the habit of opening her mouth with this words, “See how unlucky I am today…” According to this friend of mine, some duck has all the lucks and this young man is one of those lucky ducks.

If anything, the young man’s experience reveals this to us — your go-above-and-beyond attitude will inevitably bring you good luck. Thus, instead of blaming your “bad luck, work on your attitude.

(1) I believe I know myself best and I can be as objective as I should be in judging myself. You can challenge my objectivity as much as I challenge that of other people’s.

(2) It is human nature that people can accept pleasantly anything unpleasant about themselves if only it comes from their own mouths. e.g. if I am fat and plain, it is perfectly okay if I mention my extra pounds but boy, how mad we would be if we hear it from others.

(3) Even worse, people tend to feel a bit resentful when they hear negative comments on themselves or get a lower rating. That’s why I always ask my children to do self-evaluation.

If we trust that our employees have the ability to assess themselves, why not handing over this tool to the employees instead of having others do it on them? What is the consequence of not trusting them? Damaging on all fronts. What is the consequence of not having an objective self-assessment? Nothing but lack of intellectual maturity. But the process might help them know themselves better and reach the level of mental maturity that they should have.

Finally, I believe it is always the best policy to have people do their own self-evaluation or assessment. Same can be said of our children.

I shared the experience with my daughter, who told me that I should tell the manager. There is a difference between school and company, though I don’t like adult way of settling differences either. To record this event, I wish this co-worker adopt the following New Year Resolution.

(1) Stop accusing others when you don’t have any evidence
(2) Stop treating others less than human
(3) Stop yelling when you can talk
(4) Stop acting like a brainless high school bully in work place

P.S. I shared my writing with a friend of mine who cannot understand why I don’t rise up in arms and fight. I don’t risk my peace of mind this easily. Honestly, this is the only really bad egg in the pot and I have never been in it.

This is so typical with not a few people who have lost their job but refuse to adjust their expectations and get back to work force in whatever form they can. If they cannot find a job relating to their educational background, find whatever job in the market as long as there is paycheck, unless the guy is willing to be a stay-home dad. Otherwise, anything is better than staying home and waiting…

I told my friend that the guy got to have some other skills that he can sell. All he needs is to make an inventory of his skills and expertise and check these skills against job market. Once he finds a match, go full speed selling his skills. One step back, if the guy has no marketable skills, try and get some training or re-education. Trust me the combinations of these two assets — skills and initiative– can eventually take you to your destination and much much farther than that.

My daughter heard the story, commenting, “The guy got to change his course if that road has no outlet.”

At first I thought she meant it was hard for me to do it all since I was the only one in that office today. I was wondering, “Strange. How come she suddenly cares about me? It’s so unlike her.” I was going to say, “Not that bad since we don’t have monitor today,” but when she mentioned her husband who had a flexible work schedule so that she did not have to do it all, I realized she meant the other absent colleague, who couldn’t come because she did not have anyone to turn to and got to do something today. She did not need to explain this to me at all, as I don’t care whoever came or not.

It is so interesting how the event turns and how erroneous was my assumption. Then I don’t understand why she was so evasive, if she was so eager to explain. Why not simply said, she couldn’t come because she had to do this or that during weekday. I know she wanted to find some excuse for her absence but she did not want to reveal the exact why.

I must be too bored to record this. But then, it might be an interesting read later. At least a break from a boring day. The next day, something of this nature occurred again. On the morning of 11/10, a colleague of mine told me secretly that another colleague got fired this morning. Both of us were deeply disturbed at seeing her go and wondering why. “Because many people don’t like her and monitors complain of the work she has messed up. She messed up with many things, so the manager has to let her go” was the answer. We were thinking who would take her place when the phone rang. It turned out that the so-called “fired” employee was joking. None got fired at all so far, but she might because of this joke. She was just being bored and extremely stupid. She reminds me so much of the book Then We Came to the End: A Novel by Joshua Ferris.

Work is a constant learning process. On 11/11, when a colleague of mine offered me some chocolate cookies, she said, “You will be as fat as me after you eat them all.” I said, “No I won’t.” She said, “You are not supposed to say so. You are supposed to say, ‘No, you are not fat. You are just like me.’”