When my son was home early this month, I mentioned this to him. In the long run, good relationship depends on one element, that is, feeling good being together, instead of the otherwise. It is this good feeling that binds the two together.
You don’t face big issues everyday. It is many trivial minors that very often ruin this good feeling. Such as, what would you say when someone just wins a medal or achieve something extraordinary, at least in that person’s eye?
You could buy a bunch of roses to confirm and enhance her happy feeling or you could deprecate the achievement by saying “No big deal. Anyone can do it easily.”
Another occasion when your partner is already feeling upset or mad about something, you could either calm him down and try to alleviate the anger with some soothing words or you could rub the wrong way by saying “I told you so. Serve you right for not listening to me before.”
I told my son a rule of thumb is to always put yourself in your partner’s shoes and always decorate the beauty and never add salt to the wound.