An individual in a crowd –
–loses his/her individuality
–is irrational, impulsive, and irritable, with dead fixed mindset
–is under total control by emotions,
–has zero tolerance of any different views, with death-to-those-who-differ-from-me mentality,
–sees the world as absolute two colors: black and white, nothing in between
–tends to go to extremes, admitting no doubt or uncertainty
–behaves more like an animal or one of the Herd as Le Bon called,
–is quick to action, good or bad, which is exactly what the demagogues intend in the first place.
–will do something that he/she would not if he/she is not in the crowd
–serves as the best instrument for demagogues

The crowd can be powerful and destructive, so much as that sometime the juries had to genuflect to its power, as in the case of O.J Simpson trial. China’s Cultural Revolution offers classic example on the destructiveness of crowd behavior on the greatest scale.

Time is the crucial factor. The author believed the modern age was an era of crowds. Demagogues work their wonder in time of deep economic hardship. Demagogues always capitalize on fear and insecurity that are lurking in the minds of those who are in want of mental power. Now is the time for demagogues to rise and fly.

Avoid the crowd, if you don’t want to subordinate yourself to a downgrade level of existence.

The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind, by Gustave Le Bon, first published in 1894, latest edition 2002. This is an excellent book, the first one of its kind, on crowd mentality and behavior. Le Bon, 1841 –1931, was a French social psychologist, sociologist, and amateur physicist. I read it at graduate school and it comes back to my mind every time I see phenomenon like Glenn Beck. It is especially true in the age of mass media, with TV and internet.

The larger the crowd is, the less people think and the bolder they become, believing themselves indefeatable and capable of doing any crazy things — anything can go and everything is possible. So you can say the capacity of one’s mental power diminishes and is even reduced to zero as the crowd gets large. Once in a crowd, people totally delegate their thinking and reasoning power as human beings to demagoges who articulate, magnify and fire up to a wild prairie fire using whatever discontent lurking in people’s minds.

People who are not in the habit of thinking by themselves have an instinctive need to obey a leader and are easy victims to demagoges like Hitler, Mussolini and now Glenn Beck, the winner of the crowd control. Mussolini once said, “The crowd is like a woman, the crowd likes strong men.” How women hate these words!

Last weekend I read this piece with my daughter and will share it with my son. I often hear him say how busy he is and he has no time for this or that. This is especially written for him.

A certain modern American poet and novelist “Alesking” used to take piano lessons from a man called Karl Ward. Apart from piano, this teacher also taught him an important lesson on time management.

The piano teacher told him this — you should get into the habit of seizing every small amount of time to practice. Such as, prior to going to school in the morning, after lunch or break between your work, even if you have only 5 minutes. It will be a huge amount of time if you add them up. This way piano practice will become part of your life.

Later in his life, while Alesking was teaching in a college, he was planning on writing novels. Yet, two years passed without his ever writing a single word. He was frustrated over lack of time for writing until one day the words of his former piano teacher came back to him.

With that he started adopting this so-called “short-time practice” method and writing a few words or lines or pages whenever he got as little as 5 minutes. To his surprise, he had written a rather handsome volume in just one semester. Hence he continued using this time management method until he became an accomplished poet and novelist, and a successful college professor.

It will be too harsh to say that “no time” is a convenient excuse for the mediocre. If we always wait for a whole chunk of time to work on our agenda, we will always fail to find this time and equally fail in whatever we want to pursue.

911 global alarm! 8 years after 911. Who counts how many Iraqis and Afghan lives have been lost because of 911? And there is no stop of it in these two countries now, thanks to God-loving America-backed Bush administration! If anything, 911 provided Bush an excuse to go killing rampage in their unrelentless oil quest.

I read this documentary book lately, Tiananmen Paper: The Chinese Leadership’s Decision to Use Force Against Their Own People — In Their Own Words, compiled by Zhang Liang, edited by Andrew Nathan, written 12 years after the 1989 Tiananmen demonstration. After the lapse of these years, participants in the movement must have cooled down and started reflecting upon the futility of this event.

The compiler of this document fully realized that the failure of the movement was inevitable, that “the arrival of democracy in China will have to depend on people in China,” that “the building of democracy in China has to depend on forces rooted inside China” instead of outside. A fair judgment on the purposeless and good-for-nothing activity.

It does not point out directly that the students tried to capitalize on the occasion of Mikhail Gorbachev’s visit and the gathering of major international news media in Beijing.

They thought they could checkmate the Chinese leaders, even with the threat of hunger strike, making the Chinese leaders lose face in front of global media, only to force the leaders to come out with force. I must admit that the all governments use iron fists to deal with any disruptive forces and Chinese government is still no match to American force in Iraq, having killed tens of thousands and many more.

Among others, the students demanded the top Chinese leaders should move out of Zhongnanhai and turn it into a public park, Mao Zedong’s body should be removed from Tiananmen Square and that Square should be turned into a place like London’s Hyde Park. p. 109. So much lovely baby whining. They sincerely believed the Chinese leaders would do what they were asked to. Come on, this is Beijing, not London. Do we have to be westernized to that extent?

Yesterday morning, at my daughter art class location, I received two books from a friend of mine. I am not sure of the English title of the book, though it was claimed to be a translated book from a Harvard scholar named William Bernard. It is called Harvard Family Instruction, yet I couldn’t locate this title on the Internet.

The books consist of short stories, revealing deep moral lessons to the readers. I told my daughter one story on the way to her friend’s house in the afternoon after skating.

“A man confessed to a pastor that he was the real murderer in a criminal case, yet an innocent person was arrested and was going to be executed for his crime. Upon learning this, the pastor should go to the police and set free the innocent, yet he couldn’t because he had sworn to God that he would not break the confidentiality rule. So, he decided to remain silent. In order to clear the guilt from his conscience, he confided this to another pastor. In the end, both pastors had their lips sealed and witnessed an innocent going to Heaven…”

“It isn’t real, I hope,” my daughter commented.
“It is real when you think of the fact that pastors are very much afraid of offending God and not being able to go to Heaven,” I explained.
“Well, God is … if he allowed innocent to be killed. I would do anything to free him.” she said.

I wish the story were not real. Otherwise, I would be very much disappointed at religious leaders who place their own salvation above the life of others. Or can they escape punishment from God for their selfish act? If they can, what can we say of God? Let’s pretend it is only a fiction.

While at Border’s, I picked up a book called Unspeakable: Father-Daughter Incest in American History by Lynn Sacco, out early this year. To be sure, it is a deeply disturbing topic and book. I cannot help feeling sick, indignant, furious, and abhorred over the extent and the wide-spread practice of all forms of patriarchal sexual abuse against girls inside the so-called place of haven — our family, across all classes.

The book certainly serves to shatter the myth about the safety of a family and parents as the protectors of their youngsters, etc. It emphasizes the sad vulnerabilities of our young girls and the heavy responsibilities on the shoulders of mothers in such families.

The book brought to my memory the infamous Fritzel case that surfaced last April, in which the 42-year-old Elizabeth Fritzel from Austria revealed to the police that her father had kept her in captive for 24 years to serve his bestial sexual desire, resulting in the birth of seven children and one miscarriage, fathered by her own father. The book also reminds me of the character in Bible — Lot, who was made drunk by his daughters so that the latter committed incest in order to “preserve seed of our father” (Genesis 19:32-36). I can never understand the degree of depravation demonstrated in many places in Bible.

The book Unspeakable is a good read, only you need to get ready for shocks, disgust and the perverted side of life that you won’t believe it is real.

There are so many activities around and so much to write about but so little time for writing. Isn’t that what we all face in our lives? In short, the big nephew came back after summer school around the first week of August and left for school yesterday. My son arrived in China safe and sound. My daughter is getting ready for high school that is coming next Monday. I have devoted much of my time to the activities of my daughter, working with her to hammer out a SMART action plan for her first year of high school, and also plenty of time to the vegetable garden and to house-cleaning that is never ending, especially with one more person in house.

Still, I tried to find time for reading and of course, writing. Last weekend at Barnes and Noble’s bookstore, I was reading a book called China Safari: On the Trail of Beijing’s Expansion in Africa, by Serge Michele and Michel Beuret, 2009.

Despite the derogatory terms that are so often inevitably spit out throughout the book, readers can see the acknowledgement and admiration that the authors express for the achievements and progress that Chinese people have brought upon the African continent. Wherever they go, they magically transform the once disease-plagued, starving, and war-torn land of hopelessness into something much better with the possibility of a bright future. The Chinese people win praise from local people for what they have brought to their land and what they have accomplished there.

On the way back home, I shared this incident with my daughter. An American company planned to operate in a country in Africa. Instead of creating all the needed conditions for their operation, the company asked the head of this African government to get everything ready for them. If the government could, they wouldn’t have asked foreign company for help. So this government turned to a Chinese company and was told, “No problem.” The moral lesson is this. When you plan to start a project or an operation, instead of asking others to get everything ready for you, you create the right condition and environment for yourself. Things are never ready for you if you don’t take initiative in all your projects, venture, activities or any major endeavours. A good book.

I have been reading non-fiction Nixon’s Watergate investigative report All the President’s Men by two wonderful journalists — Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. The investigation started from infamous 2:30 AM 17-June-1972 Watergate break-in by five burglars. It is an exciting and interesting read, with occasional mixed feeling of disgust, sickness, bewilderment, disillusion, and sense of sudden wake-up.

You see how some people would do any dirty things when necessary, yet with an appearance of a person of integrity and principle; and learn how much people were willing to do in order to reach their goal, whatever that might be. In the end, the tree collapsed, so did all the monkeys living off the tree.

The only person that is positively depicted in the book is Hugh Sloan, who came to Washington an idealist and was determined to leave it forever, thoroughly disillusioned. He deserves greatest sympathy from readers. I feel a boundless respect and admiration for the two journalists for their persistence and determination to get the truth out and diligent documentation of this unique historical event for future generations.

There are so much to learn from this rich event. I would think it beneficial that every politician or aspiring politician keeps a copy of this book by their bedside, so that history will not repeat itself.

Recently a book came to my attention as it actually happened in Kansas City. I did not believe it was a true story. But after a shallow digging, it is sadly and dreadfully true. The Devil’s Tickets: A Night of Bridge, a Fatal Hand, and a New American Age, by Gary M. Pomerantz, newly published June 9, 2009, 80 years after the murder.

The plot is very straight-forward. A couple play bridge with another couple, with each couple as partner to each other. Mr. Bennett of Kansas City had the habit of slapping his wife when he was mad. He it again during this fateful evening of bridge, driving his wife to the same degree of madness, to the extent that the wife killed the husband with a few gunshots. The wife was later acquitted.

The story may be tragic, yet the book is a good read, entertaining and also opening a window into American life in 1920s, the roaring age and leaving readers wondering about all possibilities involved in family, bridge, and marriage. A family violent fight can possibly turn deadly. So scary when you think of your house as a haven instead of a battleground. Read it with a sweet chocolate in hand because the book does not leave you a pleasant taste in your month.

You will have a better understanding of the 1920s after you read Only Yesterday: An Informal History of the 1920′s, by Frederick Lewis Allen, originally published in 1931. It is an excellent and interesting history book on an unique era of drastic changes in American history–between the end of the WWW I in 1918 and the stock market crash of 1929.

By the way, I talked to my mother over the phone on Wednesday evening, 7/15, and learned that a fight between two adults, not just verbal but physical, occurred in the family of the 11-year-old boy who used to live with me here. The couple even got my mother involved. Things became ugly to the point that my mother told them to move out of her house. There is always something going on, as if we don’t have enough of domestic violence.

Last weekend, 6/28-29, as I sent my daughter to Border’s, my eyes caught a red-covered eye-catching book right as I entered the door. I was wondering what kind of book Borders was promoting now. The title of the book, Finger Lickin’ Fifteen, (Stephanie Plum Novels) (Hardcover) by Janet Evanovich, list price: $27.95. Thinking it must be a worth reading, I took it up and started reading.

I must admit I feel both disappointed and a bit cheated, disappointed over the level of taste of folks at this Border’s, a reflection of the popular taste of folks in our area, cheated for wasting time on reading it. I feel like having visited a land filled with stinky garbage. I must stop here before I spurt out any unpleasant comments.

Finally, here’s something to brighten the day. According to Aristotle, those who can only follow orders are slaves. More accurately in modern term, those who can only follow orders have a slave mentality. Isn’t that horrible! Think of this everytime you follow orders issued to you.

How we love getting rid of any household work! These are from Woman’s Day magazine, 5/2009, that I read while waiting for my daughter’s art class.

Tips on reducing housework
(1) Time yourself
(2) Make things easy. Always look for easy way to get things done.
(3) Move thing the right way, top to bottom, inside to outside
(4) Clean while messing, clean while cooking instead of leaving a big mess after cooking
(5) Do a quick 5-minutes cleaning instead of waiting for things dreadfully piled up.

Sweet and short. More from this magazine on health later.

Recently, I have talked with some friends over the phone about our teenage children. To be sure, there are more complaints than anything else. I have to admit that my children are far from being perfect, but no matter how upset I feel at times, I try to remember the time when they were just tiny babies and the huge responsibility on my shoulder. In fact, they are still children in many ways, even though they may act like they are independent grow-ups.

This reminds me of the conflict between my own child and the other adult in our house which almost led to the outcast of the minor. The irrational nature of some parents can very well write a tragic ending for any real parent-child conflict story. Yes, sometimes reality appears more unreal than fiction. Thus, every time I hear parents complaining of the minors, I firmly believe the parents are the guilty ones, without any exception. All children are angels, that is, until parents bring out the demon side in them through the most ugly form of fight and abuse.

No matter what happens, we only need to remember one thing, that is, we need to continue caring and protecting them till they become truly grow-up and ready for any challenges that may come on their way.

This is what I read from a book on teen problems. There are four main factors that can contribute to teen problems

1) Teen’s personality
2) Parent’s personality
3) The childhood experience
4) Parenting style

The decisive factor is the last one — parenting style. A proper parenting style can eliminate the impacts of the first three factors, those that are beyond our control.

Imagine what life would be like if both teen and the parent have a temper as hot as fire, reacting to each other in the same unthinking and knee-jerk manner, having the same negative and conflict-ridden attitude toward each other!  One of them got to change in order to avoid constant clash. It is the parent who is supposed to act like a responsible adult and take initiative in managing any conflicts between a child and the parent. I know this can be a real challenge to some adults who stubbornly refuse to change for their children.

One step backward. What if unfortunately that parent is not mature enough to change him/herself? Don’t be surprised. Some people grow up only physically but never emotionally, remaining pure teenager mentality throughout their lives. This is when the adult acts like a immature child, degrading him/herelf to the same level as the teen and this is how the problems or conflict are set in motion and escalating in most cases, which might eventually lead to a very undesirable and even disastrous ending.  

Wait! This is not the end of the world. There is still hope. The hope lies in another adult. If the teen is fortunate enough to have another parent who is understanding and capable of enlightening this problematic immature parent, or who is powerful enough to intervene between the two conflicting sides.

The real disaster can fall upon a teen when both parents are hopelessly irreparable, child-like warriors, with you-name-it irredeemable flaws in them, capable of creating hell instead of a heaven for the child under his/her roof. In case like this, the teen is better off living under a foster care.  Bless your heart that this is as rare a case as seeing a real panda in a super-market. One more blessing to count.

My experience with my teens confirm my belief in the overwhelming power of parenting style. After all, a teen is still a child, not physically though, and you are their unfailing protector. Behold, the sun will break through the dark cloud and shine in your house, as long as we parents act like responsible adults and maintain our rule with proper parenting style. I have seen this sunlight. Yes, life is so good with dreams like this.

I have been lately reading a book, One in Three: a son’s journey into the science and history of cancer by Adam Wishart, 2007. The author is a London-based documentary filmmaker. The title of the book implies cancer is the disease that touches the lives of one person in three. Not pleasant to know. Forget this.

The author interweaves memories of his father and the story of his father’s cancer treatment with the western medical history of this disease. To be sure, the book is very informative on the one hand, making us appreciate the advances in science and technology in medicine. On the other hand, to me, the book is more like a celebration of a wonderful relationship between a father and his son. I am touched by the growing up experience of the author and his father, a very loving, caring and positive one!

The author recalled his childhood moments with his dad, his dad’s unremitting quest to educate him; the story of Dr. John Snow’s discovery, the first piece of work on epidemiology, the story of cholear epidemic of 1854, how the father and the teenage son went to movie together, so many such intimate moments of father and son … The readers can see the definit imprint of his father’s caring work in him.

The author fondly recalled, Dad “was always telling me stories about scientists, mathematicians, and revolutionaries … From my adolescence it was our habit to stay up late and, with Mum in bed, to sit talking about these things in the kitchen table. For two men who never spoke about their feelings, our intimacy consisted in sharing our interests in politics, history, or the progress of science. If I knew history, he thought, then I might be better able to navigate through my life, because he always used the past as a way to understand his place in the world.” p. 2

“When I was a child and Dad was in his early forties, he regularly carried me up the Lakeland fells so that I might see the English landscape laid out below.” p. 215 The book abounds with anecdotes like this.

Such a beautiful picture of father and son! Such a wonderful father! There are so many things that a father and his son can do together and so many chances for them to form a loving and meaningful relationship, yet some choose doing nothing at all or abandon these chances to live a richer life. How I wish most of the dad were like the dad of this author! Dreaming again, I know. Guess what? I just discover dreaming is the most harmless activity that one can engage, only on the verge of being useless.

I talked to my son about book China, Inc. He promised he would read it when he got a moment. I hope he had more moments for books.

There is one small section on “Reverse Colonialism: How Sweet It Is.” To be sure, the author talks about intellectual property piracy, with a rare understanding and sympathy.

“China’s vast counterfeiting schemes act on the rest of the world the way colonial armies once did, invading deep into the economies of their victims, expropriating their most valued assets, and in so doing, undermining their victims’ ability to counter.”

“But should China be blamed for behavior that robs the rest of the world of wealth it has spent generations accumulating? Perhaps. Yet perhaps the rest of the world also needs to examine itself. China is merely acting as other nations do when presented with the chance to increase their wealth and power.” p. 252

Indeed, when western invaders had their wild and profitable way in China back a century ago, observing no rule of fairness and justice, now China returns by the same no-rule-observing practice, defying any rule set for them by their former invaders, returning honey with honey when opportunity is given. Nothing is sweeter than this.

Now, understand, with sympathy?

Dedicate to the children and their parents from first generation immigrants.

My heart leaps up
By William Wordsworth

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began,
So is it now I am a man,
So be it when I shall grow old
Or let me die!

The Child is father of the Man:
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety.

Dreams
By Langston Hughes

Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

The Road Not Taken
By Robert Frost

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I am recently reading a book called China, Inc.: How the Rise of the Next Superpower Challenges America and the World, by Ted C. Fishman, 2005. The book is about 350 pages long, an international best-seller, informative and entertaining, having been translated into 25 languages. I would think it a must for anyone who is interested in China and wants to know the various factors in the making of China’s rise in economic power, and for people like me who have been aways living outside China and have been out of touch with this land of vastness and light-speed change. In fact, I am going to order an copy for my son.

The author observed China with an eye like a microscope. He often presents the topics by dissecting the changes and evolution of individual cities and companies both in China and in America. His decription of China — her culture, politics, pollution, her huge need for energy and food, daily life, health, and Chinese people — is rendered with detailed facts, warmth, and understanding, of course, never free from bias. I have not done an equally thorough research to verify the facts presented in the book. I am sure there are places where he has over-generalized a particular case.

The author Ted C. Fishman, a graduate of Princeton University, is a veteran journalist and former commodities trader, a leading expert on China and its development as a world power. I am sure there are much more people who are, like this author, very rich in experience with China. Yet, it takes much more to write about your observation and experience. First and foremost, the author is an excellent observer, researcher, and writer.

More on this book later.

Last Friday, I read a small book, entitled The Uncommon Reader, a novella, by Alan Bennett, 2007, a small-size book of only 120 pages, with these words written on the cover, “Delicious and very funny… A delightful little book that unfolds into a witty meditation on the subversive pleasures of reading.” by Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times. It is simply a light pleasure to zip through it.

The author expresses his views on reading via the mouth of the Queen [of England (fictional one)]. To be exact, the book records the process of a Queen from a non-reader to an avid reader and the changes inside her in the process. I have quoted extensively from the book, as I intend to dedicate this posting to those of my friends and some of my relatives who love reading.

Here’s her finding after the Queen has read more, “… what she was finding, also was how one book led to another, doors kept opening wherever she turned and the days weren’t long enough for the reading she wanted to do.” p. 21

In the past the Queen was briefed on many things by others. Now here’s what she said on the difference between briefing and reading by herself. “… but briefing is not reading. In fact, it is the antithesis of reading. Briefing is terse, factual and to the point. Reading is untidy, discursive and perpetually inviting. Briefing closes down a subject, reading opens it up.” pp. 21-22.

When someone referred her reading as simply passing the time, the Queen said, “Books are not about passing the time. They’re about other lives. Other worlds. Far from wanting time to pass… one just wishes one had more of it …” p. 29

The more she read, the more she appreciated the pleasure of reading. “The appeal of reading, she thought, lay in its indifference: there was something underferring about literature. Books did not care who was reading them or whether one read them or not… Literature, she thought, is a commonwealth; letters a republic.” p. 30

When a footman took away her book, thinking it was some kind of bombing device, she said, “A book is a device to ignite the imagination.” p. 34

The Queen has traveled vastly already, still she wanted more traveling through books. “I think of literature as a vast country to the far borders of which I am journeying but will never reach,” the Queen wrote. p. 47

Reading also gave the Queen a feeling of sadness because “for the first time in her life she felt there was
a good deal she had missed.” p. 47

While she was reading, she wanted to carry on conversations with the author. So she decided to have a party of writers. During the party, she often felt more like a guest than the host, being left out most of the time because she found herself not capable of being part of the intellectual conversation. Therefore, she decided, “Authors, … was probably best met with in the pages of their novels, and as much creatures of the reader’s imagination as the characters in their books.” p. 52

The author’s ultimate announcement on reading of literature comes in these words, He who is above literature “is above humanity.” p. 115.

A final note on the Queen’s reading is her observation on reading and life — “You don’t put your life into book. You find it there.”

Thank the author. For me, no words can adequately describe the joy that reading has brought to me. So much for it. Back to my joy.

Last weekend, while reading at Border’s, I came upon these words by Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, “If you believe you are born with all the smarts and gifts you’ll ever have, you tend to approach life with a fixed mind-set. However, those who believe that their abilities can expand over time live with a growth mind-set—and they’re much more innovative.”

I have long before realized those “smarts and gifts” can be burdensome and damaging if we sleep on them, instead of using them to our advantage. There are some among my close acquaintances who are born with heavy dose of smarts and gifts and have been doing no better than this.

Too much aware of what you are good at by birth not only causes you to lay back, lazy as pig, without putting as much effort as you should, but also, according to Goldsmith, restricts your exploration of life’s unlimited possibilities, when you naturally follow the path of what-you-believe-your-best and avoid trying others. This belief actually restricts your future and your life. It is called self-limiting effect. You will never reach to the next higher level because of your so-called “smarts and gifts.” Isn’t that a good thing not to have this restriction? Choose self-liberating. You wish!

Marshall Goldsmith co-edited the book The Leader of the Future, back in 1996. It is a powerful book for world leaders and you. Yet too bad American leaders, especially the last administration, have not paid attention to it, thus gradually and inevitably yielding its leadership position to other countries in 21-century.

So much for this lovely Saturday.

I read from a magazine on procrastination, “Procrastination hurt you physically, too. It creates stress, which will lead to headache, body sore, gastric problem, indigestion, either chronic or acute disease.” I never have this experience until I start dragging my feet and working on my tax return. I feel all kinds of illness assailing me at the same time. I am not sure if it is because of procrastination or the thought of tax return and the money that must be taken away from me.

I have read so much about organizing, mainly because I need it so badly or because reading about organizing is far less backbreaking than really doing organization around the house. This is why I love reading about it. Here’s what I read and I will start getting things organized when I feel like it.

“Organizing is one of your strongest assets.” Indeed, it saves you both time and money when disorganizing equals to waste of money and time. Why? When you cannot find what you need at the moment, you lose time trying to locate things. If you thought you did not have it and have to buy a new one, when in fact you have it but just misplace it.

“Being organized give you a sense of control.” What a good feeling! At least it saves time not to re-do things you have already done but forgot having done. OMG, I have done that too often! Thanks for being disorganized. It drives me crazy when seeing so many things cry for my attention, knowing some of them are already taken care of but cannot be thus confirmed. What a mess!

“Organizing is the art of using your time and resource efficiently.” When you are organized, you can get things or file the moment you need them. I often get distracted in the middle of the work, taking my sweet time looking for something that I really need. Distraction and time inefficient — all because of my disorganization. How I hate myself at that moment.

The answer is simple: Simplify your life, get organized, free from distractions, better focus, time efficient. Try it whenever you feel like it.

I just finished a book by Atul Gawande, titled Better: A Surgeon’s Notes on Performance, 2007. I was hugely impressed by the overarching idealism throughout the book, felt like a warm current going through the body, so much like last century’s vintage, reminding me of JFK’s Peace Corps and “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do to your country.” A must read for all doctors!

The book goes into great detail with abundance of examples the “three core requirements for success in medicine–or in any endeavor that involves risk and responsibility” — diligence, do the right thing, and ingenuity.

It is easy to be diligent — pulling the cart as long as the cart is pullable. But it means a little bit challenge not to fall victim to our own human sins, failings or weaknesses, like avarice, arrogance, dishonesty, coverup of one’s mistake, knelling before a White House intern, even committing massacre currently going in Iraq.

The last one–ingenuity– “is not a matter of superior intelligence but of character. It demands more than anything a willingness to recognize failure, to not paper over the cracks, and to change. It arises from deliberate, even obsessive, reflection on failure and a constant searching for new solutions.”

How I wish more people could be like this. Well-intentioned dream. Well, at least, I wish to share it with my children and wish they will keep them in mind, no matter they will pursue in their life’s journey.

A good book, heart-warming and inspiring! Nice effort in cold weather.

Continue my obsession with the little poems written by this Chinese girl. She wrote it nearly two years ago. The poem shows her love of books and how much she has benefited from her dear friend — books. Books are window to the world of fun, knowledge and strength, enlightening us and uplifting us from whatever unpleasant state that we are in. So, take your child to the library or a bookstore, grab a book and read on this lovely Sunday.

“Books

Books are my best friends –
They aquaint me with plenty of knowledge;
They tells me —
Why swallows fly from south to north in Spring,
Why mosquitoes bother people in summer,
Why leaves turn yellow and fall in autumn,
And why snakes hibernate in winter.

I learn from books —
The fastest animal runner in the world is cheetah,
The largest fish species in the ocean is whale shark,
The Wright Brothers designed and piloted the world’s first airplane,
Da Vinci also contributed to the invention of bullet proof vest,
And the root of a fig tree can be as long as 120 mi!
6/18/2007″

I was reading a book called Waking Dragon: The Emerging Chinese Economy and Its Impact on the World, written By Peter Navarro. As far as I understand, the sole purpose of the author is to condemn China to the utmost of Pete’s wit and ability, even to the point of distorting fact and history. Normally, I dismiss books like this, realizing that there are always two opposing stands to any rising phenomenon. Not this time.

Fallacy number one, China has never known how to live in harmony with nature. China only intents on destroying nature for profit. China has no historical and cultural relationship wtih nature and environment. China has no sense of stewardship of the planet. China is so money-driven and territory-occupying that she never loves and cares for nature.

Do Chinese buy this statement? Who is the biggest waste producer in the world? Not China. Who uses most of the world resource, oil and fresh water? Not China, even though China has the largest population.

Last time I went back to China, I learned, in an effort to reduce plastic waste, Chinese customers must pay for their grocery bags if they do not have their own bags. How many cities in the world that enforce this practice. China has the largest recycle industry, not for profit but for the love of nature, when most of developed countries have this capacity but find it not profitable to engage, for fear of wasting their dear dollars at the cost of polluting the not-so-dear environment.

This morning I learned that China is making history in car industry. A Chinese auto maker BYD introduces China’s First homemade Electric Car, F3DM for the mass market, which at least a year ahead of similar efforts around the world. Huge effort to reduce gas emission and pollution from gas-feed cars.

It is so typical of some humans to see everything black if they believe it is black, white if they believe it is white. This absolute way of thinking explains why the author paints a hopelessly pitch dark picture of China. Is China that bad? Don’t we hope we could administer a heavy dose of sedative-hypnotic drugs, strong enough to send the dragon back to an eternal sleep, so that the rest of the world can live happily forever, only if we could turn back the clock. Happy or sad?

I only hope my children can be free from this extreme absolute way of thinking, not to speak of maximizing its damage via writing.

I read a magazine yesterday at Border’s, Scientific American Mind, Dec 2008 issue. The cover article is “Procrastinating Again? How to Kick the Habit?” By Trisha Gura.  I thought the topic is a timely reminder to my son who is almost famous for putting things off till last second. 

The article does not actually provide any feasible method of getting rid of this habit. Instead it tells us something we already know, well, not as exactly as the author, though — “Almost everyone occasionally procrastinates, but a worrisome 15 to 20 percent of adults routinely put off activities that would be better accomplished right away.” Nice to be told again, right?  I hope we do not belong to that group of adults.

The bad part is the foot-draggers have to face some undesirable consequences for procrastination –financial, physical, relationship, and even professional. I know a friend of mine who always postpones filing tax return to last second and never fails to file for an extension.

Procrastination is a learned behavior. The article traces back to early human history for its root, provides a brief nature-and-nurture argument, and goes through a lengthy explanation on people’s penchant for task aversiveness and pain avoidance.

You may think it is so easy to say, “Do what you should do first regardless of what.” Indeed, how complicated can it be?  No legitimate excuse whatsoever for failing your task.

I would think if procrastination is a learned behavior, like drinking and smoking and even overeating, it is only a matter of human will over human addiction or behavior.  The stronger one will prevail over the weak one.  You will be tragically defeated by your own addiction if your addiction proves stronger over your will and you willingly subject yourself to the control of whatever habit you may have acquired.  The toll is too heavy for life if you thus let go of control.

Yesterday evening the 25-year-old in the family came back from school.  He was supposed to go back to China this morning, but missed the flight, because the other adult in the house did not get up until 4:40 AM, arriving at the airport at 5:20 AM, too late for 5:40 AM flight.  I will need to call the agency to change the flight, if any available.

Negative factors that we should avoid if we want to be happy.
depression – 5  (get of out it if you are in)
negative emotions – 5   (add positive one to offset it)
too much choices – 5
worrying – 5   (too active in over-thinking)
comparing yourself to others – 5
lack of exercise – 5
binge drinking – 5
recreational drugs – 5
widowhood – 5
pessimism – 4
stress – 4
poor time management – 1
unhappy ending – 2
fixed mindset – 2
lack of confidence – 1
powerlessness – 3
watching TV – 4
insomnia – 4
materialism – 4
divorce – 4
unhappily married – 4  (worse than being single)
being single – 1
famiy fights – 1
broken family – 1
conflict at work – 1
umemployment – 2
lack of self-discipline – 2
job insecurity – 1
unhealthy foods – 2
workaholic – 1
celebrity worship – 2

I feel forever grateful to my children who insist on going to bookstore on weekend, leaving me no choice but grab-a-book-and-read, which is better than doing household chores. The immediate benefit is reading always leaves me in a good mood. Today I went to Barnes & Noble’s bookstore and happened to find an interesting small book entitled, The Happiness Equation: 100 Factors That Can Add To or Subtract From Your Happiness by Bridget Grenville-Cleave, Ilona Boniwell, and Tina B. Tessina, 2008.  

The title of the book is very much self-explanatory — we + positive factors – negative factors = our happiness, assuming we share the same definition of happiness. Basically, we should develop more positive factors and limit or do away with negative ones, if we want to be happy. I would not want to miss sharing this equation. I only list part of the 100 factors, already too long for one posting.  Below are the positive factors. The negative ones will be posted tomorrow.  See how many points you can get for your positive happy factors.

extrovert + 1
sunshine + 0.5
community spirit + 0.5
contact with nature + 0.5 
adaptation + 2
feeling good + 5  (even after you flunk a major test)
vitality + 1
positive illusions + 2    (dream on positively)
curiosity + 1
luck + 1
humility + 1
optimism + 5  (keep real sunny face)
resilience + 4  (bounce back after each stumble)
acceptance + 1
gratitude + 5    (count your blessings, always)
forgiveness + 2  (don’t roll up your sleeve and show your ancient scar all the time)
coping well + 2  (similar to resilience)
positive time perceptions + 3
finding the flow + 5  (if there is one)
dancing + 3   (with a wolf if you cannot find a better partner)
gardening + 3  ( be an amateur farmer)
having a hobby + 4    (like gardening, whenever you have time)
visiting an art gallery + 3
making music + 2  (as if you were Mozart)
playing + 2  (play safely)
smiling + 4   (in moderation)
keeping a diary + 5  (so many points to gain for your daily scribbling)
savoring + 5   (slow down and take time to smell the rose)
laughter + 4    (at yourself if you find nothing to laugh at)
getting things done + 2
love + 5
successful marriage + 5  (imagine one if you don’t already have it)
close friends + 5   (open yourself to one if you don’t have any)
acts of kindness + 5  (a kind heart is the prerequisite)
going to church + 2
owning a pet + 2
emotional intelligence + 1
sharing good news + 1  (don’t keep the secret if you win a lottery)
having goals + 5  (good and realistic ones)
education + 1    (who pay for it?)
self-esteem + 2   (high one, of course)
appreciating excellence + 2 
job satisfaction + 2
gender (f) + 0.5
personal growth + 3
money + 0.5
feeling healthy + 2
using your strength + 5
creativity + 1
good nutrition + 2
vocation + 2
beauty + 0.5  (having it, if you are one of the lucky ones)
having children + 3  (one is not enough to get 3 points)
religion + 5  (any belief is better than none)
mental well-being + 1
hope + 3
volunteering + 2
meditation + 5
matching values and actions + 2  (no double-face)
finding meaning + 5   
lifelong learning + 1   (same as education)

We often hear of school bullies, but either lack of awareness or trying to ignore bully at work. As I observe, it is no exaggeration to say bully exists everywhere. I have also observed that obnoxious and extremely uncivilized person has drained productivity effectively the workplace that I have known of, that is, driving people out of company. Nice job!

There is even a book on this problem, The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t, by Robert Sutton. According to the author, if you feel “oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person,” feel worse about yourself, you are bullied by someone who makes you feel this way. Your co-worker is an “asshole” if he or she aims his or her “venom” at less powerful people. Sure sound familiar, right?

If you think you can report the terror to the management, don’t be a crying baby. You reveal more about you when you talk to your boss about others.

I just read something about bully at work. It has increased up to nearly half of the workforce. Unbelievable.

Signs of bully that I have observed:
—co-worker loudmouthing at you, knowing you are too soft to yell back
—belittling you or your work, making you uncomfortable and worthless
—excluding you from a group lunch
—treating you as an outsider, as if you do not belong here
—backstabbing you as soon as you are out of sights
—never accepting responsibility for the wrong she has done
—acting like a terror to the nice people
—fully capable of ruining you 24 x 7.

To my children, I have way too much over-emphasized being civilized in treating people when in real world of strong bullying the weak, being nice, civil, and considerate often sends wrong messages to the bully, or rather invite nasty people to practice bullying on you. I feel sorry for not having taught them how to deal with real bully in life.

Yes, everywhere, there is no escape. Self-defense is the only way out. What are the mechanisms for self-defense? I have to leave the answer to the readers.

Yesterday evening, I took a walk with one of my children. On the way, we were talking about a book called Thirteen Reasons Why By Jay Asher.  It is about a high school senior who left 13 cassette tapes after she committed suicide. The tapes recorded in detail the thirteen reasons why she killed herself.

My child could retell every detail of what she read of the book. She thought it a good book. I agree with her on this and I hope many people will read it and come to have a better understanding of teenager life, although I would find it hard to sit through such a book.  It certainly provides food for thought if you can think.  I asked her what she learned about teenagers through reading it. I shared with her my thought on this book.

1. It was shocking that teenagers’ life is so full of such petty minds, matters even despicable, mean spirits, and inconsiderations.
 
2. Teenagers can be cruel and very self-centered, so much so that it could break a person’s will to live.

3. It is such a shame to waste time and life on matters of no worth when they should focus their time and energe on something real important to their lives.

4. The real sad part for some teenagers is, they simply cannot rise above this petty concern and live through these years. That’s why tragedy occurs.

I hope or I wish … well, I am sure it is only a fiction or is it a real story?

I saw my children were excited over Eldest (by Christopher Paolini), so I decided to take up the book, trying to find out what it was here that interested them. To be sure, the book was very well crafted, good language, gripping to the young, full of actions, running and fighting, in the same tradition as Lord of the Rings, with themes like duty and loyalty, love and friendship, courage and bravery, life and death, growth and awakening, eventual triumph of the good over the evil, etc. The scale matches that of an epic. But as far as I can see, nothing’s original, which is perfectly okay to his young readers.

To be blatantly honest, I find it a waste of time to sit through this over 700-page book. Even though I am not a teenager, I can imagine why 13-year-old readers cannot put down this book.

The familiar themes are conservative in nature, nothing shocking and repulsive to us. Actions, hard-to-gratified love, loyalty at the risk of one’s life, all have their appeals to the minds of the young. Fights over whatever issues are especially effective to compensate for the boredom and monotony of everyday life.

I have no doubt that, in 5 years from now, my children will have a different view of the book. For now, it is a good fit, a safe escape from daily boredom. After all, it is better than some other books, which I am too nice to list here.

I planned to send this to my son when he told me with excitement of his dinner with an old acquaintance of mine. The following was notes from reading a book on conversation.

Too bad I forget the author of the book, but I remember the book quoted extensively Montaigne’s writing. Montaigne invited people to attack his ideas as “agreement is boring and intellectually deadening.” Montaigne would be a total alien at my workplace.

Then, again, Montaigne found few people worthy of being his opponents, because most people were not up to his intellectual level. I laugh out loud. Yes, try working here in Kansas and you would be completed isolated.

He disliked “pretentious conversationalists who parade their learning” or those people “awaiting their own turn to hold forth.” So terribly and pitifully shallow.

Here’s an interesting observation made by Montaigne. “Just as our mind is strengthen with vigorous and well-ordered minds, so it is impossible to over state how much it loses and deteriorates by the continuous commerce and contact we have with mean or ailing ones.”

According to him, the main reason conversations were unsatisfying is that people “get defensive when their views are questioned.” This is so fun. “Most people, when their arguments fail, change voice and expression, and instead of retrieving themselves betray their weaknesses and susceptibilities by an unmannerly anger.” I am not aware of any mannerly anger.

Montaigne was so interesting that I was very much eager to get hold of Michel de Montaigne’s original writings, in French. Wish me good luck!

My weekend routine is pretty much fixed — art class in the morning, tennis lesson in the afternoon, then either clothes shopping or bookstore. The least that I can tolerate is clothes shopping.

Below is what I read from the paradox of time.
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life… Everything else is secondary,” by Steven Job, p. 27 What does he mean by “living someone else’s life”? Whatever it may mean to you, I feel like making daily efforts so that other people can have a better life. Look at how I spend my weekend. This may be the definition of mom or should it be this way?

“All that really belongs to us is time; even he who has nothing else has that.” by Baltasar Gracian, p. 27 Don’t we know this already? Yes, then do we know how to spend our time wisely?

Now here’s another perspective on time.

The Present-hedonistic Time Perspective
(1) I believe that getting together with one’s friends to party is one of life’s important pleasures.
(2) I do things impulsively
(3) When listening to my favorite music, I often lose all track of time
(4) I try to live my life as fully as possible, one day at a time.
(5) Ideally, I would live each day as if it were my last day.
(6) I make decisions on the spur of the moment.
(7) It is important to put excitement in my life.
(8) I feel that it is more important to enjoy what you are doing than to get work done on time.
(9) Taking risks keep my life from becoming boring.
(10) It is more important for me to enjoy life’s journey than to focus only on the destination.
(11) I often follow my heart more than my heart.
(12) I find myself getting swept up in the excitement of moment.
(13) I prefer friends who are spontaneous rather than predictable.
(14) I like my close relationship to be passionate.

Check these questions against yourself and see where you stand.  As with yesterday’s posting, I have worked through then and found them very interesting and very much worthy of sharing with the readers here.

Oh yes, today is voting day.  Drawing from past presidential election experiences, I predict it is going to be a landslide victory for Democratic party.  Yes, any time there is a huge dissatisfaction with the incumbent party, you will see a similar huge victory for another party in the election.

Here’s more on Time Paradox book.  I just love this book and read more about it last weekend.  The author composed a list of questions for different perspectives on time. These are questions on the future-time perspective. p. 58

(1) I believe that a person’s day should be planned ahead each morning.
(2) If things don’t get done on time, I don’t worry about it.
(3) When I want to achieve something I set goals and consider specific means for reaching those goals.
(4) Meeting tomorrow’s deadlines and doing other necessary work come before tonight’s play.
(5) It upsets me to be late for appointments.
(6) I meet each day as it is rather than try to plan it out
(7) Before making a decision, I weigh the costs against the benefits.
(8) I complete projects on time by making steady progress.
(9) I make lists of things to do.
(10) I am able to resist temptations when I know that there is work to be done
(11) I keep working at difficult, uninteresting task if they will help me get ahead.
(12)  There will always be time to catch up on my work. 

Obviously, you cannot be future-oriented if you choose YES to all the questions.  I have answered all of the questions and will ask my children to do so.

Here’s a question put forward by the author – essentially it asks this — what is wealth?  “How wealthy is someone who spends all of his time making money but does not take the time to enjoy life?”  “How can we measure the measures of billionaire developers who spend all their time building mansions of brick and mortar but never enjoy those rooms?”  p. 10  A challenging question, isn’t it?

Time also matters because it is relative. p. 12  Relative in the sense that “we do have some control over the frame of reference in which we view time.” Recognizing these frames “may allow you to get more out of life.” p. 15 In other word, we do have control over the use of some of our time.  Cheer up!

Regarding people’s attitude towards time, there are present-oriented and future-oriented people. Present-oriented people tend to be willing to help others but appears less willing or able to help themselves.  Future-oriented people tend to be more successful professionally and academically, less willing to devote their time to altruistic pursuits.” They are the most likely to be successful and the least likely to help others in need. p. 19 What an irony!  Why is it so?  Isn’t it nice if we can combine the strenght of each? Why can’t we be both future-oriented and likely to help others in need?  A lot of questions rush to my head.  I have to post them here for you to ponder upon.

Continue on time paradox.  Here’s the first paradox of time — “Your attitude toward time have a profound impact on your life and your world, yet you seldom recognize it.” p. 6  Here’s the paradox: most of us, myself included, are trapped by daily trivia things in life while failing to recognize the most important thing in our lives — TIME, the limited and irreplaceable resource in our lives.

I read this quote again in this book.  “No man ever steps into the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man,” by Heraclitus.  Yes, everything is going through constant non-stop changes.  We learned it back in our primary school and yet, we don’t seem to have this mind and mentality to be aware of and face daily changes in everything in our lives.  I am sure our attitude toward everything would be vastly different if we were aware of this constant in our lives. 

Why does the paradox of time exist?  I like this explanation – “Just as fish may be unaware of the existence of water in which they swim, most of us are unaware of the ceaseless flowing time in which we live.” p. 8  Because we take for granted this seemingly never-ending flowing time, we seldom value it and realize its importance, just as fish unaware of the life-dependent element — water.

Again, the author reinforces this point — Time is finite for all of us.  Once gone,  forever gone.  Ben Franklin said “Time is money.”  Wrong.  Time is more important than money, no amount of gold can buy back your lost time, yet we calculate how we spend money but seldom calculate how we spend time.  Not a miscalculation error but wrong object of calculation.  Another big paradox on time.

On Saturday, 10/25/2008, I went to Barnes & Noble’s waiting while someone went clothes shopping with a friend.  At the bookstore, I saw a new book called The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life, by Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd, 2008.  I was very much intriqued by the title and was eager to find out what this paradox is.  So, I got this book. I have not finished reading this book, but from what I have read so far, my understanding is:  the biggest paradox is the fact that time is the most valuable possession that we have in life, yet its value is seldom recognized and thus seldom appreciated. I want to share the following with my children.

On its front flap, it says, “Your every significant choice — every important decision you make — is determined by a force operating deep inside your mind: your personal time zone. This is the most influential force in your life, yet you are virtually unaware of it. Once you become aware of your personal time zone, you can begin to see and manage your life in exciting new ways.” My understanding of personal time zone is your perspective, attitude, awareness and use of time.

On the crypt of the Capuchin Monks, an inscription written on the floor at the foot of a pile of human bones says, p. 5
“What you are, they once were,
What they are, you will be.”
Don’t we need to be reminded that someday in the future we will all be like this pile of bones?