Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Mar 18, 2018

Aristotle: Moral goodness, rationality, choice and habit

Filed under: Happiness,Reading — admin @ 10:06 pm

Recently I was trying to read Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle. To be honest, it’s not a fun read. There are many concepts tossing around, like choice, deliberation, rational, voluntary and involuntary, teleology, “rational animals,” which means us humans.

First of all, humans are not rational all the time. Just look at all these mass shootings in the US. How can they be rational when they take drugs, knowing the danger and the damage of addiction? Why don’t they always make the right choice, like no addiction to smoking, alcohol, drug, and even smartphone?

Secondly, even if we voluntarily make choices, not all choices are made based on rational thinking. Often we knowingly make undesirable choices because we got into the habit of doing it and we are more creatures of habit than of rationality.

Lastly, it is really an illusion to believe that we are rational, as if we knew what we should do and always choose wisely when we are fully aware of the consequence of our choice. The harsh fact is we cannot be trusted to do the right thing all the time.

I believe very often in our daily life we follow our habit and fall into our default choice, whatever that happens to be. So it seems to me the key to our happiness is to form the habit of making right choices.

1, Jan 30, 2017

Answer to the root of happiness, Five happiness traits

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 7:47 pm

I have been wondering why I seem happier than some people that I met. Now I found the answer from this article, “The 5 Personality Traits That Make for a Better Life” Not surprise that I find myself high on all five traits.

Here are the five traits from the article:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Low withdrawal
3. Industriousness
4. Compassion
5. Intellectual curiosity
Enthusiasm: This is a trait defined by such phrases as “has a lot of fun” and “laughs a lot,” and so it is not surprising that the human golden retrievers who score high in enthusiasm would also report leading more enjoyable lives. This aspect of personality falls under extroversion, and as such, it also has to do with how you relate to others: enthusiastic people tend to make friends easily, and they warm up quickly to others. They also tend to get carried away by their excitement.

Low withdrawal: This is rather inelegantly named, as it’s primarily defined by what it isn’t. Withdrawal is an aspect of neuroticism, and people who are high in this trait have an uneasy relationship with themselves — they are easily embarrassed, easily overwhelmed, and easily discouraged. A low score in this trait makes for a better life (which, of course, makes a lot of sense).

Industriousness: Here’s where this new paper starts getting interesting, particularly for those of us who find ourselves drawn to the life-hacker-y corners of the internet. According to this paper, the getting-shit-done personality also tends to be linked to greater well-being. Industriousness is a side of conscientiousness, and it’s marked by a tendency toward planning ahead, working hard, and finishing what you start, without wasting time or getting distracted in the process. Leave me to my lists; I am happiest with them.

Compassion: This is an aspect of agreeableness, and it describes the sort of person who is interested in other people’s lives and problems, and who likes to do little acts of kindness for loved ones and strangers alike. An interest in others’ well-being seems to spell good things for your own. Who knew?

Intellectual curiosity: This is a trait defined by a love of complex problems, difficult books, and meandering philosophical conversations. People with intellectual curiosity — a facet of openness in the original Big Five — are quick learners and thinkers, with rich vocabularies and the capacity to handle high volumes of information at once. Curiosity about the world around you turns out to predict your happiness within it.

1, Nov 30, 2016

If you need a good laugh, read H.L. Mencken

Filed under: American Culture,Best quotes,Fun,Happiness,Life — admin @ 10:11 am

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out… without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

1, May 13, 2016

You can help your child become a happy adult, part 2

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 2:47 am

We know being nice ourselves is very crucial to maintain good relationships in life. In case, you might ask what I mean by being nice, here are some examples of being nice.
(1) Never say hurting words.
(2) Never raise your voice even in anger or madness
(3) Respect all
(4) Don’t hold a grudge against anyone
(5) Be considerate of others
(6) Speak out calmly when you are upset.

I am thinking of my father when I make this list. He was all of them except the last one. He kept it all to himself when he was upset or felt hurt because he’d rather hurt himself than hurting others. That’s why he died young 29 years ago.

Some people may say, “I have to shout it out when somebody makes me mad.” Here are three quick facts.

First, the world abounds with people who are for some unknown reason either unfriendly or hostile by nature. Their life mission might be out to upset others and trigger mad reactions. This much you cannot control and do not have to worry about.

Second, nothing can be resolved by shouting. Instead, losing your cool only result in making things worse.

Third, you have to learn anger management so that you can express yourself nicely when you are upset. Angry people cannot be happy themselves and cannot make others happy.

Here’s one trick about anger management. It works for people of all ages, very basic and nothing fancy. When you are angry or mad, tell yourself, time to take a deep breath and count. Count slowly until you know you have calmed down, easy and effective. It’s not difficult to do it if you get into the habit of doing it. We are all product of our habit.

Don’t expect other people to be nice all the time. Don’t expect others not to provoke you. Don’t find excuses for yourself, like I have a bad temper, etc. Don’t blame others for your bad behavior.

Being nice is both easy and difficult. It is easy if you internalize it and have your temper or rather bad temper under control. Difficult if you let go yourself without self-discipline.

Here’s the good news. It’s easy to teach your child to be nice when you start young. To do that, a parent need to present himself as a living example of a nice person.

Start teaching your children to be nice persons if you wish them a happy life.

1, May 12, 2016

You can help your child to become a happy adult

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 9:52 pm

Here’s something that parents seldom talk about when their children are young. Consider this question– what is the ultimate thing that you want your child to have in life? A happy life, right? Next, what is the key to a happy life? Wealth? Success? Fame? None of them. Many studies have confirmed this one — a good relationship. And I totally concur with it.

Yes, you are right. Having and maintaining a good relationship is something parents seldom or never talk about to their children. How do you maintain a good relationship? Easy. Just do one thing: Be a nice person yourself. Do parents often tell their children how to be nice persons? From my limited observation, I don’t think so. Probably because most parents assume their children are nice already. Parents may ask, why do we need to teach our children to be nice when they are as perfect as angels? Is it really?

Here’s the cognitive trap that parents don’t realize. A good son and a good husband are two totally different things. A filial child does not automatically make a loving spouse. A parent might praise a bold act of his child while others might see the same act as being brazenly impolite and void of proper upbringing. Like one person that I know of, he is considered by his parent as a perfect man but is seen by others as just the opposite. As the old saying goes, love is blind. It is especially true when it comes to parental love.

That’s why parents ignore teaching their “perfect angels” to be nice persons.
To be continued…

1, Sep 8, 2014

Things you should avoid doing when you are sad or depressed

Filed under: Happiness,Health — admin @ 12:28 pm

(1) Clean your room or house. The old stuffs can remind you of the past which is here no more. It can only aggravate your sadness. The best thing to do is to leave the place that is associated with the past and get into a place totally new and unrelated.

(2) Look at old pictures. In fact, stay away from anything that is associated with the past. Don’t do this unless you think you are not depressed enough.

(3) Keep everything to yourself. Instead, find some outlets, like sharing your feeling with your friends or someone who faces similar situation. A great camaraderie is very essential here.

(4) Lock yourself in your room. The isolation only serves to make you more focus on your sad sorry existence, which is suicidal. Don’t do that.

(5) Writing can be cathartic and therapeutic to some people, but essentially writing is a lonely act. It sometimes makes me feel worse. If you are like me, stay away from writing until you think you feel better.

1, Aug 28, 2014

Key to happiness — void of too many desires

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 9:53 am

what is happiness

I will get back to this later with some explanation.

1, Jul 15, 2014

Happiness is not defined by the size of your house…

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 10:10 am

Happiness is...
1. Happiness is not defined by the size of your house but by the sweetness of the laughter in the house.
2. It is not demonstrated by the luxury car that you drive but by the fact that you drive home safely.
3. Your abundant savings in the bank won’t bring you happiness. Instead, your freedom to do what you please every day is what makes you happy.
4. It is not the beauty but the beautiful smile on the face of your loved one that makes you happy.
5. Being in a high position won’t make you happy. Being praised as a good person wherever you go makes you happy.
6. Being free from illness and disaster makes you happier than simply being well-fed and well-clothed.
7. Happy is he who receives encouragement when in defeat, not he who is loudly applauded in victory.
8. Happiness does not come from the too-often heard sweet talks. Instead, it is when you are sad and weeping, someone tells you, “That’s okay. I am here.”

1, Jul 12, 2014

A happy family is the key to one’s health

Filed under: family,Happiness,Health — admin @ 10:36 am

A happy family is the key to ones health and happiness
I will translate this later.

1, Jul 10, 2014

People die of what? Anger?

Filed under: Happiness,Health — admin @ 10:32 am

people die of what
Again, I will translate this later, that is, when I have time.

1, Jul 2, 2014

Why one-up guys always try to one up others

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:17 am

Don’t be a one-up guy because a person who always tries to one up others is not happy either in a group or with others or in his family. This is the definition from urban dictionary on one-up guy

“A guy who always has to one-up everything anyone says or does. If you say you ran a 5 minute mile, he ran a 4 minute mile. If you say you went swimming this weekend, he’ll tell you he’s a certified lifeguard and swims every weekend. If you say you made coffee this morning, one-up guy will tell you that he grew, harvested, roasted, ground, and brewed his coffee. Usually the one-up explanations are long-winded, boring, and self-serving. Most of the one-up explanations are probably lies.
“e.g. I was telling him about my ski trip to Taos. One-up guy over there spent 20 minutes talking about how he used to be a ski instructor in Taos. I hate one-up guy.”

The bottom line is this:
(1) A one up guy tries to show he is better than or superior over others.
(2) Why? Because a one up guy is insecure. He always feels the need to impress others with his superiority and the need to make people like him or accept him as being the best.
(3) The fact is nobody is stupid and nobody likes one up guy. Consequently, the more one tries to impress others, the more people find him annoying, see through him, dislike him, and the more miserable this one up guy is.
(4) For your own happiness, don’t even try to one up anyone but yourself. The ultimate source of your happiness is this: you impress yourself with your own achievements.

Get it? Yeah, get your happiness from within, not from outside!

1, Jun 19, 2014

10 Keys to your happiness, part II

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:32 am

This is a rough translation of last post.

(1) Be in good health
(2) Have a realistic goal
(3) Have self-respect
(4) Have self-control over one’s emotion
(5) Be optimistic
(6) Be generous and forgiving towards others
(7) Have a circle of friends
(8) Get along well with others, being able to integrate in a team
(9) Have a challenging job and proper pastime
(10) Belong to a team or be aware of the group you belong to

No. 6, 7, 8, and 10 talk about our relationship with others. As social beings, our ability to be comfortable with others is essential to our happiness.

1, Jun 18, 2014

10 keys to your happiness

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 9:50 am

10 keys to happiness
I am at my office right now. Hang on there. I am going to translate this in my next post.

1, Oct 1, 2013

An email sent to a friend back in 1999

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:10 am

When I cleaned my old documents lately, I dug out an email that I sent to a friend of mine on 3/11/1999. I remember she just gave up her teaching job in order to join her husband. She was feeling rather depressed when she couldn’t find another teaching job in her new home. Here’s part of what I wrote to her,

“Glad to talk to you yesterday, though we didn’t finish what we were talking about…

I feel deeply that it’s difficult for us Chinese in America to be happy. We work extremely hard and we are not afraid of hardships. We live comfortably, yet, we are not as happy as we should be and we feel depressed easily. Why? …

1. We never have a sense of home here. It seems any place can be home for us, but we cannot form emotional attachments to any place, no matter how long we live there… People call it ‘sense of rootlessness.’

2. We are cut off from our family, the one we were born into, where we are related by blood and, cut off from an important source of social and emotional support…

3. Because of this, we rely heavily on our small family, the one formed by marriage. This form of family is the weakest one in a sense, the most easily broken one, considering one in two marriages in America ends up in divorce, and thus the least reliable one. We expect greatly from this small family. Yet, no matter how much we try, we still don’t feel happy.

4. Perhaps we can never feel as happy as we wish just from our small family. Perhaps it is still not enough to make us happy when we are so isolated socially and sometimes emotionally… Or perhaps the real happiness is found within each of us, no matter where we are, … and we shouldn’t expect it from outside…”

This friend of mine doesn’t have children. I further told her that “I have two lovely children who are very much attached to me and are the greatest sources of happiness. So I feel completely blessed and happy when I’m with my little ones… I’m not thinking of anything else, just enjoy what I have now. Let future takes care of itself.” I probably shouldn’t tell her this when I already knew how much she longed to have a child.

I ended the email with these words for her–
–We come to this earth to enjoy, not to suffer.
–Enjoy to the fullest what we have today, because we only have one life to live.
–Life is so short that we don’t even have enough time to enjoy. Why waste time feeling depressed.”

I can’t believe I wrote this 14 years ago and I still need to be reminded of these words today! Also, I have found how true these words are from my experience with other Chinese living in America.

1, May 9, 2013

Something that makes me happy

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:17 am

On 4/17, I received an email from a friend of mine, who asked me “Can you give me your he-xin-jia-zhi-guan (core value) with a limited words?”

Never mind why he asked this and why it has to be “with a limited words” and I know I have the tendency to get lengthy. I wrote the following,

For myself, do the right thing, do my best and have a goal to live by every day, enjoy what I have at the moment.

Towards others, be nice and respect human beings for their intrinsic value.

I have tried to live with less prejudice but it’s hard to be free from it.

The only justification for them is, they make me happy. Indeed, do the right thing is the only way that will leave me happy. I will be tortured and unhappy by my own wrongdoings.

1, Apr 9, 2013

The poorer, the less happy, the poorest, the least happy…

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:24 am

During the last weekend of March, I met this article while I was on the internet “Where Are the Country’s Least Happy and Healthy Americans? Of course, I was curious to know who are the happiest and least happy Americans.

As you have probably guessed, Hawaii is the happiest of all! The opposite to Hawaii is what they term “Sadness Belt,” which means those least happy states are all clustered in Central and Southern Appalachia, and the region’s neighboring states, with West Virginia (50) and Kentucky (49) being the saddest two states for the fourth year in a row.

The Well-Being Index compiles surveys in six categories:
1. Life Evaluation: how a person’s current life compares with their expectations
2. Emotional Health: deals with the respondent’s experiences and feelings on a given day
3. Physical Health: encompasses diseases, physical pain, sick days, body-mass index, etc.
4. Healthy Behavior: addresses both positive behaviors (i.e. exercise) and negative (i.e. smoking)
5. Work Environment: questions for workers on job satisfaction, treatment from superiors, etc.
6. Basic Access: includes access to food, housing, healthcare, etc.

There is no doubt that states that registered lowest in economy and education also show as lowest in happiness.

1, Mar 24, 2013

Your Happiness is in your hand: Reading Positive Psychology

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:08 am

Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I like this quote. When I read about positive psychology, it seems positive psychologists are confirming that assessment. Although some of our temperament might be genetic, a large percentage is under our control. In short, our happiness is up to us.

Positive psychology helps us use our strengths and heighten our awareness to develop happiness and fulfillment. It promises to help us identify our unique strong points.

The role of gratitude is also very important in making us feel happy. Another key word is “mindfulness,” the ability to live fully in the moment without judgment.

Negative thoughts are the obstacles to happiness that we should try to sidestep. Accumulate and practice your happiness-building strategies for staying “in the flow.” and savor the treasures in life, both big and small at all moments.

1, Mar 5, 2013

True happiness, pleasure, and Aristotle, Part III

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:46 am

Why are so many people unhappy now, even with modern conveniences? Aristotle believes it is because they confuse “pleasure” for “happiness.”

Aristotle’s “Pleasure” is more like what we call today “immediate gratification.” Pleasure is associated with the physical or bodily part. “Happiness” is the opposite of that, more spiritual part. It is more about individual growth with a long term goal to reach.

Life always has ups and downs, not an all the way smooth sailing. We gain insights while growing emotionally and intellectually as we savor through ups and downs in our lives.

Aristotle believed living and realizing your fullest potential as a human is the highest form of true happiness.

Isn’t that a wonderful thought and, of course, a very insightful one, too.

1, Mar 4, 2013

True happiness, pleasure, and Aristotle, Part II

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:23 am

Here’s another quote from Aristotle:
We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts not breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.”

Live in deeds, not in years! Nothing is more insightful than this on the essence of our living. We don’t just live through our years without accomplishing any deeds. This reminds me of many famous persons, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and facebook founder. Their names are always associated with the achievements of their life: Microsoft, Apple products, and facebook.

I also think of my son who gave up his job with a comfortable pay and lifestyle in order to concentrate on producing something that is more long-lasting than what he enjoys at the moment.

I will continue tomorrow along the same line of thought.

1, Mar 3, 2013

True happiness, pleasure, and Aristotle, Part I

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:20 am

Not long ago, I read this article from Psychology Today–“A Happiness Tip From Aristotle: Do you know the difference between pleasure vs. happiness?” by Karen Salmansohn, 2/7/2010. Here’s what she has to say.

Quickie Question: If you could live 10 years of your life in total bliss – with NO pain – but in the end, not remember any of it – would you do it? According to Aristotle – the answer should be NO.

Aristotle says true happiness comes from gaining insight and growing into your best possible self. Otherwise all you’re having is immediate gratification pleasure – which is fleeting and doesnt grow you as a person.

In a way the above scenario is a description of someone who does crack or drinks into oblivion. At the time it feels like you’re avoiding pain and seeking bliss – but in longterm you’re NOT really enjoying real life — with life’s inevitable ebbs and flows which give you needed insights and exciting experiences which grow you and let you know more about who you are and what you love and who you truly love!

That’s interesting enough for today. I will continue on the topic and Aristotle tomorrow.

1, Mar 2, 2013

Reading about the most miserable places in the world

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:51 am

Last weekend, I was whining about not being able to take my weekend walk in the morning because of snowy ground and I felt like being under house arrest, unable to go out taking in fresh air. Then by accident, I read an article “The 25 Most Miserable Places in the World,” by Lisa Mahapatra. Boy, that is really miserable!

Here’s the list of the 25 Most Miserable Places in the World
25. Mali, Misery index score: 36.5;
24. Mauritania, Misery index score: 37
23. Iran, Misery index score: 39.1
22. Maldives, Misery index score: 40.8
21. Gaza Strip, Misery index score: 43.5
20. Bosnia and Herzegovina, Misery index score: 45.5
19. Yemen, Misery index score: 46.4
18. Haiti, Misery index score: 46.5
17. Swaziland, Misery index score: 48.4
16. Afghanistan, Misery index score: 48.8
15. Marshall Islands, Misery index score: 48.9
14. Senegal, Misery index score: 49.5
13. Kenya, Misery index score: 50.1
12. Lesotho, Misery index score: 51.1
11. Sudan, Misery index score: 51.5
10. Syria, Misery index score: 51.7
9. Kosovo, Misery index score: 53.6
8. Nepal, Misery index score: 54.3
7. Namibia, Misery index score: 57
6. Djibouti, Misery index score: 63.3
5. Turkmenistan, Misery index score: 70.5
4. Belarus, Misery index score: 71
3. Burkina Faso, Misery index score: 81.5
2. Liberia, Misery index score: 90.5
1. Zimbabwe, Misery index score: 103.3

After reading through the stories of their miserable existence, I feel like on the top of the world. I guess we need to read about other people’s sad stories to count our blessings.

1, Jan 9, 2013

Centrality of family, key to one’s happiness

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:20 am

I read an interesting article on 12/27/2012 –“Why Latin Americans top the happiness rankings” by Rich Basas.

A global index on happiness shows several Latin American countries topping the list. The report cites centrality of family as a key reason. Experts offered many explanations for the results.

(1) The ability of Latin Americans to look beyond immediate problems and live life day-by-day, despite what is going on externally.

(2) Constant problems make people adapt and live positively.

(3) One explanation points to the cultural aspects that teach Latin Americans to keep a positive face on things, even if there are personal problems.

I would go with the explanation that centrality of family is the key reason for their high level of happiness. We know Hispanic culture is very much family-centered one, which must be a healthy contributor.

The interesting part is very often people associate happiness with the amount of wealth they possess. Obviously it is not so with Latin Americans.

1, Dec 3, 2012

A song, a picture, a thing of beauty always cheers me up

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:57 am

A friend of mine sent me this song a few weeks ago. Since then, I have been listening to it whenever possible because it is so beautiful and it has stuck in the back of my mind. I have this tendency, that is, when I am exposed to either audio or video beauty, I tend to forget all the unpleasant things around, reach to a surreal stage and see the bright sky again. Here’s the lyric of the song. You have to listen to it to appreciate the song.

Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it’s only seed

It’s the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It’s the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It’s the one who won’t be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

1, Oct 10, 2012

The truly unselfish love in one’s life

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:10 am

Not long ago, I learned that my sister’s son was going to buy an ipad for his girlfriend using his hard-earned delivery money, his first paid job. I thought of Liang Jizhang’s note to his son, especially those underlined words. I feel unspeakably sad as young people today fail to understand that the only people who truly and unselfishly love them are their parents, who not only give their lives, raised them up, but also have sacrificed so much time and resources for their happiness. It is sad that these young people forget their parents when they get their first paycheck.

The Chinese saying “A man forgets his mother after he gets a wife” should change to “A man forgets his mother after he gets a girlfriend.”

For a long time, I cannot get over the sad feeling over it. I share with my children how I feel about this incident.

1, Oct 6, 2012

Dysthymia, low-level depression, and how to deal with it

Filed under: Happiness,Health — admin @ 12:18 am

I love all these profession-sounding forbidden words, especially from Harvard Medical School, another intimidating one.

Dysthymia refers to “a long-term drone of low-grade depression that lasts for at least two years in adults or one year in children and teens.” It is not as dark as the real depression but too far away from bright color of cheerfulness.

Yet, because of its prolonged tormenting effect, it could keep you from feeling good about everything and keep you from being healthy and productive. You tend to go about your daily life without enthusiasm.

You are suffering from dysthymia if you feel your depressed mood having lingered for more than two months at a time, and you have at least two of these symptoms:

–>overeating or loss of appetite
–>insomnia or sleeping too much
–>tiredness or lack of energy
–>low self-esteem
–>trouble concentrating or making decisions
–>feelings of hopelessness

Of course, with America’s super-trust of authority, Harvard Medical School suggests that you “talk with your doctor. He or she may recommend that you see a mental health professional for the most effective approach.”

I would suggest you read comic books or do something that once brings you joy and excitement or mix with some friends or seek some social gatherings of your kind or set a new goal and get yourself busy or do something good for a change like volunteer among children. Do these activities not once in a while but constantly. In fact, fill your life with anything cheerful and positive for at least a month to see the result.

1, Oct 4, 2012

Good news cheer people up

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:37 am

During the week of 9/24, with many cloudy days and uncertainty coming from one hiring manager, I felt rather low-spirited, eager for some good news to cheer me up.

I learned one young relative of ours just changed his job and doubled his salary in China, which is not enough to change my spirit. They talked about how beautiful girls would be chasing him because of his fat paycheck, etc. I feel so selfish when I should have felt happy for him. Not really.

On Wednesday, my daughter told me she had some good news. She had a test that day. She did not know the result yet, but her teacher told her she made it to the team. That is, her grade is good enough for the competition team.

Upon hearing this, I feel a lot better now. In fact, the news did lift me up for the day.

1, Sep 3, 2012

Their third anniversary together

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:57 am

Today is the third anniversary for my son and his girlfriend. I guess they started dating on 9/3 three years ago. My son delayed coming back because he wants to mark the day with his girlfriend.

It is indeed something to celebrate when you consider the fact that both of them were really young at that time, one being 19, the other 20, and they have moved from college to New York. After three years, they are still together! Sounds amazing.

I once wrote to my son “open communication and understanding are the key to a good relationship.”

Neither of them know if they can be in the same place next year as both plan on making some career change within the year. One might go to graduate school; the other might move out of the area. Indeed, there is no urgent need for any long term plan as both plan on change and that means so many uncertainties. Still, I wish them happy when they are together.

1, Sep 1, 2012

Live a simple and happy life

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 12:13 am

I can’t believe it is already September. Then again, I love September. This came from a friend of mine. I would think the message fits senior folks more than the younger ones. The message reads like this.

(1) Live a simple life: within one’s means and without being a burden to others. This calls for not having too much desire for material possession.

(2) Go with the natural flow. Don’t force yourself. The boat will straighten itself when it reaches the bridge.

(3) Happy with yourself and with what you have. Keep the child in your heart and understand the tao of the world. Let cheerfulness be your company forever.

What a cheerful one!

1, Aug 3, 2012

Tips for Better Life for 2012, Part III

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 1:48 am

–Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
–Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. –Stay in touch.
Forgive everyone for everything.
–What other people think of you is none of your business.
–However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
–Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
–The best is yet to come.
–No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
–Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
–Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
–Do the right thing!
–Call your family often.
–Each day do something good to others.

The end

1, Aug 2, 2012

Tips for Better Life for 2012, Part II

Filed under: Happiness — admin @ 1:47 am

–Try to make at least three people smile each day.
Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
–Don‘t have negative thoughts about things you cannot control.
–Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
–Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
–Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. This will ruin your present happiness.
–Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
–Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
–You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
–Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

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