This is the first time that I worked for a Chinese and in this field. He reminded me so much of the boss in China, the very unpleasant side. Still, the job sounded interesting as I saw the working of database and the amount of information that needed to be organized and analyzed.

But I did not have the chance to stay there for long because of one of his employees who back-stabbed me. He had three female employees, one Chinese, two Americans. It is this Chinese who for some reason did not like me and eventually sent me home.

However, I had a good working relationship with two American colleagues. About a year after I left, I learned from one of the Amerian colleagues that the company was ruined by the Chinese employee who drove me out.

This Chinese woman sold the company’s database to the American store, thus making it unnecessary for them to have this middle agent company to get its goods. In return, she got a management position at this American store.

This was carried out while the owner of the company was in China planning his second marriage with his young wife. The whole thing was unpredicted, devious and ugly-done.

I felt bad for the company’s owner. When he was as old as half a century, he lost his company and had to start all over for his daughter of the first marriage and the child of the second marriage.

More pictures

China is doing the opposite: (1) Under consumption, over production; (2) Over saving. Hence, China lends the surplus to the US so that US can keep importing from China, which will perpetuate the consumption in the U.S. and the running of factories in China.

Sometimes, I see China as hard-working parents who toil themselves to generate value and save them for their children (the dear Americans), while the US behaves like spoiled children who demand high-level consumption even running on empty purse. We would expect the US, with a mountain of debts, to save more and spend less and China does the opposite. It is not likely to happen this way, though. The children must be spoiled because of their dollar dominance in the world. Something will happen eventually. Let’s wait and see.

I feel sort of sad as I miss the days when our lives were free from these gadgets. We like these technologies, yet, like drugs and cigarette, we let ourselves become addicted to things we like and our addiction takes control of us.

This reminds me of the fable about a fly and a drop of honey. The fly enjoys the honey so much that its wings are glued to it so that it perishes amidst the wonderful honey it enjoys.

One is now working in the ministry of foreign affairs; the other used to be there. While listening to their conversation, I was both bored and amazed by the intricacies of power struggle and the total submission of one’s individuality when working there. The one who left could not stand it.

It seems like serving a life sentence to work in that environment. I cannot imagine myself working in that place for long. I was a rebel in my bone when I was young but more inclined to seek peace with the outside world.

If I were put in that situation and had to learn the ropes and the tricks of surviving there, I might become adapted and adept at power struggle. Are we the products of our social and cultural environment or some intrinsic value of our own? I wish people could forever keep something of their own no matter where they are, without total adaptation.

We left home a little after 6:30 in the morning and found a long line already formed outside the embassy. It was nearly 11 by the time we headed home.

Most of the visa applicants were young students. While they were inside the embassy, their parents were waiting outside for many hours, over three hours in our case. Seeing these anxious parents, I thought of this Chinese saying.

The direct consequence of this practice is this: the children never learn to take responsibility. Here’s a handy example, the parents of a young man decided that the man should go abroad for a few years study. Upon the completion of abroad study, it is up to the parents’ to find a job for the young man since it is initially parents’ decision.

I would think the parents have hurt their child much more than helping him. Alas, when will these parents learn to trust their children, if ever!
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P.S. my son’s flight back was scheduled to arrive at 11 PM Monday evening. The flight was delayed. He arrived around 1 AM Tuesday morning.

Yang through Chu further said, “I’m trying to undo eighteen years of a Chinese upbringing.” Is Chinese family upbringing so horrible? He further challenges reader — “How do you undo eighteen years of a Chinese upbringing?” as if Chinese upbringing were so pernicious that one had to uproot it. Is he trying to instigate an uprising against Chinese family and the values it stands for?

By the way, I consider my Chinese family a normal one, in which my children sing and whistle, hop and skip as they wish. I encourage my children to seek out friendship with whoever they like, black or white or yellow. They go through normal adolescent awkwardness but survive without the “social deficiencies” or “Asian alienation” that Yang assumes all Asian-Americans must be plagued with. And I don’t consider my children’s upbringing experience an exception.

As far as I can gather, Yang is trying to purge out from his system any traumatic childhood experience from his Korean family through this writing. Safe catharsis. If that’s the case, write a personal memoir instead of projecting all the evils on AAA– All Asian Americans!

P.S. the main reason that I have reacted so strongly to Yang is I don’t want to see any people burdened with so much self-hatred. My daughter said I have been talking about the same thing over and over again. That put an end to my relentlessly chewing out of Yang’s writing.

“Sometimes I’ll glimpse my reflection in a window and feel astonished by what I see. Jet-black hair. Slanted eyes. A pancake-flat surface of yellow-and-green-toned skin. An expression that is nearly reptilian in its impassivity…” trying to tell readers, “Look, how repulsive I am…” He certainly has succeeded so far. He must have kicked his face millions of times behind the scene, which he believes deserves no better than this.

He reveals his mental illness when he says “Here is what I sometimes suspect my face signifies to other Americans: ….” I mean why do you care so much of what other Americans think about your face, as if they care to think about it? Your face is your business. Beauty or ugly is your judgment. Don’t flatter yourself as if your face ever deserved anybody’s attention.

Obviously, Yang presents an extreme case of low self-esteem, originated from his inability to accept his physical appearance, the stage that teenagers tend to go through but rarely seen among healthy adults. Of course, it is common among psychologically unhealthy adults.

He then goes on relating his feeling of estranged to that of millions of Americans as if he were not alone in finding his own image so unacceptably disgusting. Such a preposterous assumption!

Here’s what I have to say about your face: You may not be able to choose your race or racial features, but it is entirely up to you as to what facial expression you want to put on and what message your eyes and your whole face want to convey. We all like to see people showing confidence and sunshine in their faces, black or white or yellow. Look at the lovely face of Yo-yo Ma and millions of his like.
Not done yet…

This is his personal problem. To me, the real damage is he speaks on a major magazine and talks as if he were the voice of millions of Asian Americans. Nothing is more hideous than this!

Yang knew he would be able to get it published if he could cater to the popular taste by lashing out this extremely self-disparaging piece against his own race–a popular trick. Yes, he did find his own voice by spitting on the face of his mother and all people she represents. Wonderful job!

If Yang hates Asian values so much, he has the choice of rejecting every bit of them, without having to attack these values across-the-board.

We all came from somewhere and have to move on in life from where we came from. Number one rule is: accept and acknowledge who you are and where you come from. Number two: improve and make change at wherever improvement is needed and changes can be made. To those, white or black or yellow, self-hate is a huge burden on life’s journey. It only serves a hastened self-destruction.
Not done yet…

Exactly so. In fact, he used one single word to summarize his feelings toward Asian values on filial piety, grade-grubbing, Ivy-League mania, deference to authority, humility and hard work, harmonious relations, sacrificing for the future, and earnest, “striving middle-class servility” — that one word being an F-word. I try to understand why he chooses to use an F word here. My feeble brain fails here. Maybe he thinks it can grab global attention as Amy Chua’s book has obtained. So vulgar!

He must have been severely traumatized by these values. After going through his long writing, I still cannot figure out what is wrong with these values. Why does he hate them so much? Something not right with this writer. What is it?

Not done yet…

Next she explained to me Confucius’ own words which is shaded in blue. Here’s the translation.

Ziyou asked Confucius what filial piety meant. Confucius answered, “Nowadays people understand piety piety as being able to support the parents. You can keep alive dog and horse. Yet, without a loving heart, what is the difference between keeping dog/horse and keeping parents?”

Zixia asked Confucius the same question. He answered, “It is difficult to attend to your parents’ need with a smile on your face.” That is, filial piety means you cannot serve your parents with a nasty attitude or trying to make your parents feel misery by throwing at them dirty looks, as if you were serving prison sentence instead of fulfilling your filial duties.

The only fun thing that I can think about rabbit is Beatrix Potter’s classic children’s story, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, 1902. Potter’s vivid characterization and description of Peter Rabbit earned her a place in children’s literature that no one has ever matched since her time.

To celebrate the year of rabbit, my daughter and I indulged ourselves watching Spring Festival Gala during daytime and had a marvelous time.

Boy, they are rich, appearing to be a lot richer than I am. They buy like crazy. They even buy cooking utensils at the oriental store. I mean it is a lot cheaper to buy them at Wal-Mart. I seemed to see something familiar.

My mind flashed backward when I saw these young students, back to the time when I first arrived in America in 1984. Back then I was their age, totally standing financially on my own. Living on a meager scholarship, I resided in a school-subsidized apartment, acquired all cooking utensils from host-families and church charities. I had never spent a penny on stuff like this and never bought anything that was not on sale. Yet, I managed to come up with some savings in order to go back home and spent them on my family in China.

Look at these young people now. How times have changed! How China has changed!

The doors of our houses are widely open to friends, far and wide.
No matter where you are from, you are our guests. Make yourself at home.
Welcome back friends, old and new. We will have a lot to catch up.
The evergreen trees here have witnessed the friendship of the past.
They will see you leaving us with fond memory rooted in our rich culture and tradition.
Beijing welcomes you, providing you endless opportunities, with her boundless energy.
Beijing welcomes you to share with you all under the sun, letting you break records in our land.
Beijing welcomes you, touching you like beautiful music, providing you the chance to surpass yourself
Beijing welcomes you. You will make it in this land as long as you dream great.
Miracle will take place as long as you have the courage to pursue it.

I myself have read a lot about Mao. On the positive side, I agree with an article sent by a friend. That is, those who still cherish a dear memory of Mao believe that Mao had a genuine love for his people. This reminds me of the outstanding individuals in the Civil Rights Movement of 1960s, — the “I have a Dream” speech of Martin Luther King, Jr., Rose Park, those who bravely fought for de-segregation in Brown vs. Board of Education of Topeka, Montgomery Bus Boycott in Alabama. All these ordinary people helped to move forward American society, which vividly exemplified what Mao once said, people and people alone are the true force behind the advance of human history.

Honestly, the show is depressing and the whole situation is rather foreign to me as I have resided in the States for over a quarter of a century and my family has never faced this problem before. Many issues touched in the show are beyond my humble comprehension. I simply cannot understand why people do this and that. Hence, I don’t feel qualified making any comment.

Still, I shared the show with my children together with my favorite piece below, not sure how much they can understand.

This rich second generation children are so good at squandering wealth that they practically leave nothing for the generation following them. That’s why there is a saying that the wealth of one generation won’t go as far as the third generation.

This reveals nothing but an utter failure of the first generation parents in raising up decent children. No matter how much wealth they have amassed in their life time, they have failed as parents.

I was a bit disappointed when she told me that her church does not send fund “through middle agent” and she was “not feeling comfortable to pass this to our church because people usually donate to their trusted agents…if they do donate.” To be sure, the request did not come from any middle agents but from a dear friend of mine in Beijing who devotes herself full-time to church service. I was full of words but don’t know what to say to this neighbor of mine. If this is not a trusted agent, I don’t know what it is to her. What would happen if I go back to China and make such requests to Christians here on behalf of church there? Am I not considered “their trusted agent?” I used to think church-goers are open-minded, at least more than I am. I wish … There I am sharing it here.

The dust storm of the 1930s in American and Canadian prairie lands was the result of severe draughts and the misuse of lands, a disastrous cooperation of man and nature. Sadly to say, we are seeing the same thing happened throughout the world, mainly the dire consequence of human abuse of mother earth. In China, we see more and more severe sandstorms caused by the combination of farmland-turned-desert, over-grazing, pollution, and deforestation. In U.S. the grassy surface is gradually replaced by the sand down beneath in Sand Hills in Nebraska, driving people out of the area like what Dustbowl did in 1930s.

It leaves me sad and kind of helpless when I reflect upon the recent Copenhagen’s Climate Change Conference, which consists of too much selfish politics by the world’s richest countries. It is true China is the manufacturer of most of the world’s light-industry products and one of the top polluters as the result. Yet, without the help from her customers world-wide, it is hard to imagine China solves her pollution problem all by herself. China could choose the path of raising the cost of manufacturing and then the cost of goods sold, so that she can shift this cost of properly disposing the industrial waste to her customers. But will the world support this? We won’t be able to see much improvement until the world leaders realize that it is our shared planet and our shared responsibility to take drastic actions.