Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Mar 15, 2018

Let the children decide as early as possible…

Filed under: Parenting 2018 — admin @ 9:52 pm

On Monday, 3/12, I went to a friend’s house where her daughter gave birth to a baby boy about two weeks ago. The daughter mentioned one event that her friend told her.

What happened was her child wanted to do something that was not allowed. The mother said, “You will not watch TV for a week if you do it again.” The child never did it from then on.

It is a small event happened to a small child. However I would not recommend this parenting style. Because I doubt if the same method would work to a bigger child or dealing with more troublesome event. Plus the child needs to learn to make decision, to choose the right option by themselves.

From early on, in fact, as early as possible, instead of deciding for the children, parents should encourage children to make their own decisions. Let’s call it giving them the right to choose and the chance to be responsible for the consequence of their choices.

In situation like this, parent should let the child decide the consequence or the punishment for doing thing that’s not allowed. If you allow the child to make decision, to have choices, he will learn, with your help, how to choose among various options and the consequences associated with his choice.

I think of many Chinese parents who tend to decide on the children’s behalf, so much so that the children either become dependent on the parents when it comes to making decisions or make wrong decisions later in life because they have not learned how to make decisions when they were at home.

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