Don’t punish yourself with other’s inconsideration


It is a bright autumn day, a very comfortable day until I had these two encounters.

I went to Barnes & Noble’s today to check some books for a newborn baby, my idea of gift, no matter what age you are at.

I bought some cotton books for babies. The salesgirl told me I could save 20 percent if I signed up for $25 membership. I would have 20% instead of normal 10% membership saving if I signed up today. So I did.

When I was sitting in my car, I thought of CloudBit Starter Kit by littleBits Electronics, which I liked very much but was discouraged for its price. Even at 50% off now, I still see it an unnecessary luxury. But wait. Now with membership, I can get 70% off the original price. I should grab this deal.

So I went back to the store. After confirming with the same salesgirl that 20% would be taken off whatever I bought today, I went back to grab the CloudBit Starter Kit, already feeling guilty for this indulgence.

When the salesgirl told me the final cost, I thought she made a mistake. It doesn’t sound like 20% off. She told me it was correct and I couldn’t get 20% off clearance goods, which was not true. Because I did get one from my previous purchase that day.

She talked fast and sounded rather impatient, which made me very comfortable, as if I caused her to be so unpleasant to me. When she asked if I wanted it, I said “Oh, forget it,” and left the store.

As I drove back home, her unpleasant manner and attitude were with me all the time. I couldn’t sweep it out of my mind.

Unbeknown to me, more unpleasant thing was waiting for me.

When I approached the front door, I saw the pot that I asked to be returned sitting at there. “Why didn’t she contact me before coming over?” I searched my cell phone and wechat to see if she had contacted me for this visit. She always does. No, not this time.

So I wrote to her, “You came over today when I was at the bookstore. When are you leaving for China?” She didn’t reply. Of course.

About two weeks ago, I gave her husband some plants. But I forgot to tell them to return to me the fig plant pot after re-potting. So I wrote to her later, asking if I could have the pot back after they re-potted the plant.

That pot is actually the best one that I have now. So I thought it better that I tell her this honestly. To my surprise, she sounded unhappy when I asked. The fact that she came today without telling me beforehand only confirmed my previous feeling.

For a moment I was tortured by a wretched feeling. I can’t say I don’t care. Then I realize that I have done nothing wrong. They threw bad attitude toward me without caring how I feel. It is actually they who should feel bad now.

Finally I told myself that I should stop punishing myself for other’s inconsideration.


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