It was a Saturday, 7/11/1987, when my father breathed his last and I was in America at that time. I was not there when he passed, which has been a huge remorse ever since. I know he died of cancer which I could do nothing about. Still I often dream of other realities and of things and activities that we could do together if he were around.
More often I thought it would be a huge comfort to him if I kept doing what he wished, even though I know this is nothing but a wishful thinking. I don’t believe people feel or know anything after death. It’s all over beyond that point, as if that person had not been around at all. It’s all what the living does in order for the living to feel better. The dead lives in the mind of the living only.
With that thought, I often feel pressed for time. Time is all we have in this life. My father’s life was cut short at age of 57. So many events, significant and unprecedented, happened in China and in the world during the past 29 years and he wasn’t able to witness them at all. He was an exceptionally intelligent and diligent man and could have accomplished so much in 29 years. He would be 86 years old now if he were around. The thought of that reminds me of the fact that being healthy is of paramount importance to me now, that I need to take good care of myself especially when my daughter is still young. I don’t know what my father wants now, but I know what my children want from me and I still have a lot to deliver on.
Before I can create and enjoy life, I must have a good health. This is what I think of today, the day when I remember my father.
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