It is so easy to get trapped down by your surroundings


I don’t know what happened to me last Friday when I wrote to one of the upper management of going to conferences. I don’t mean that I shouldn’t have written that email. I should. And I should feel good after sending it out. After all, they don’t know and don’t care what you think. It is up to me to make myself understood.

What actually bothers me is I should not feel upset at all. Why did I feel so upset? The fact I feel upset shows that I got myself trapped down by the workplace surroundings. I should always keep myself above and beyond what is going on around me, instead of allowing it to disturb my equilibrium.

Now think how not to get myself trapped down by the going-on like last Friday.



Kansas City 220 Rally for Peter Liang


This is the article that I wrote for KC Star, that I mentioned in my last post.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
Last Saturday, February 20, 2016, history was in the making. A new chapter began in the Chinese-American fight for equality and justice when over tens of thousands Chinese Americans in over 40 American cities walked peacefully on the streets protesting the injustice against former NYPD probationary officer, Peter Liang.

Such large turnout of protesters is totally unprecedented in Chinese Americans history. This is the first time that Chinese Americans united as one behind a brother and it represents a kind of political coming-of-age for the community.

Liang was charged with second-degree manslaughter over what William J. Bratton, the New York police commissioner, called an “accidental” shooting death of Akai Gurley. He could face up to 15 years prison time.

Protesters believe Liang has been scapegoated to release tensions between the African-American community and the New York City Police Department. They believe Liang is a victim of selective justice, especially in light of the aftermath of Eric Garner’s death by a white office. In this context, he appears to have been convicted to assuage dissatisfaction over the acquittal of white officers. The Chinese Americans throughout the country have never been so enraged.

The protesters carried these banners and slogans,
“Justice not politics”
“One Tragedy, Two Victims”
“Equal Justice, No scapegoating”
“No Selective Justice”
And Martin Luther King Jr.’s words — “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

The Chinese community in Kansas City shared the indignation over the injustice against Peter Liang. When they came out last Saturday, they first offered condolences to the family of Akai Gurley. Below is their statement to the press.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Today, the Chinese community in the greater Kansas City Area have joined hundreds of Chinese communities across the country to march the Martin Luther King March. Over 200 local Chinese Americans rallied in downtown Overland Park to show solidarity for Peter Liang.

Their message is loud and clear–
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
“No selective justice.”

Tomorrow, we will fight wherever justice is denied, whatever the color of his skin. We want the world to know that Chinese Americans are not a silent minority. We will continue following the civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. for the realization of a shared dream: equality and justice for all!



What has happened to my article to KC Star


This is what happened last week in regard to my article submitted to KC Star. I sent my article to the editor of As I See It section on the morning of 2/23, then again the next morning trying to get an update. I needed to get back to a group of Chinese friends. On 2/25, when I still have not heard from that editor, I wrote to another one on 2/25.

I said, “I don’t really want to bother you. But I do want to know whether or not S.P. is in the office this week. I have not heard from him, even though I have tried to reach him twice this week. If he is not in the office, what would you recommend me to do regarding the article that I submitted this Tuesday? Appreciate your help.”

That editor was very prompt in getting back to me. He wrote, “His desk number is 816-234-4762. If he doesn’t want to run it, we’ll have to wait until your next event for coverage. I know you are keenly interested in this issue, but because it’s mainly a New York story, we would judge that it doesn’t matter so much to readers around the KC area. There are many such community actions we don’t cover for just that very reason. Regards”

So he has been in the office all these days and still pretends like he has not read my email. When you are ignored and left no other options, how would you feel? I need to let him know how I feel at the moment.

“It is very kind of you to write back.
I was fully aware of the fact that my article would not go down well with some people…
Back to my communication with your As I See It editor, you know, it is one thing that he doesn’t want to use my article for whatever reason which I don’t take personally; it is entirely a different matter that there is a lack of professionalism and the basic courtesy to even do one acknowledgement. Your editor has employed the most effective tool against someone he doesn’t like, that is, by totally ignoring that someone as if that one is beneath his time and attention, that my voice has been ignored for whatever excuses. To say I don’t feel hurt is a lie.

But realistically speaking, what option do I have? None. I already know he has decided to ignore me for some unknown reason. Calling him to confirm what I’ve already known? No. What purpose does it serve to dig him out and confront him by calling him? None. I am speechless in face of such a lack of professionalism. It is like a child play, hiding behind his computer as if he had not received my email. I once worked for China Daily, an English language newspaper in China. To put things in perspective, in the long run, this is one unique experience of mine, hopeful once in lifetime.

Once again, thank you for getting back to me. Appreciate this greatly especially in this context.
Sincerely,”

I really don’t mince my words here, because I am sure they don’t care. So, go ahead ignoring me. I don’t care either.

On 2/26, the editor for As I See It wrote to me, finally. Too late, I am already upset.
“Keith forwarded your notes to me, and I obviously need to explain that I get dozens of submission every week and have only so much space for them. You should not take my miscommunication as a personal affront. The fact is, I only have so much space and time to consider these. I generally only respond to the people whose submissions I’m considering. I have not even read yours yet, and probably won’t get to it until next week

We only run one or two As I See It columns a week. The pipeline is always full. And I will suggest to you what I tell others: You would more likely be published on a timely basis if you resubmit your piece as a letter to the editor, at a maximum of 200 words.
Thanks for understanding,”

I wrote to him, with due respect in due time. I didn’t tell him that I thought he deliberately ignored me because he is prejudiced against Asian Americans, which I am not sure of and I will never know. And I also didn’t tell him that he only reads email from Keith and gets back to me only because of Keith email. Is Keith your boss or what?

“Thank you for your explanation.
I don’t want to sound like whining for attention. However, I do believe one short acknowledgement to the sender as a due courtesy is better than a total silence. Silence can be interpreted in many different ways. I thought you tried to ignore me which left me no other options. I hope you could understand that being ignored together with having no option does not give people a good feeling.

I am not going to do a letter to the editor, for two reasons. 1) It is a time-sensitive event. 2) A letter to the editor does not stand as high notability as other options. To be honest, I don’t want to sound like an average reader because I am not. Being a Chinese and writing about Chinese Americans objectively can be a challenge. I will continue writing on Chinese American communities in the future and I do want our voices to be heard. I hope you can appreciate my being honest.
Thank you for your response.”

He still tried to explain,
“I certainly understand your position, and I would welcome a piece from you about Chinese American issues, which, I agree, are vastly under-represented in the media. But my time for editing that column is very limited and I can’t possibly respond to everyone who offers an unsolicited submission. My time frame for answering people who have offered something I can use is usually within a few weeks, which is not unreasonable in the publishing world. And though you’re right that an OpEd column is a little more high profile than a letter, those column spots are very limited and the letters column is generally very popular.

As I said, I’ll take a look at your piece next week.”
I gave him the last word, “Again, thank you for the explanation. I should have known. Have a nice day.”

I am not sure if he realized or not that his one short reply to my initial email could have avoided it all. Some people never learn anything. I don’t know if that editor is one of that some people. It is such an agonizing experience. For now, I want to put it all behind me.



Work becomes more and more irrelevant, a rough week for me…


It’s not been a pleasant week for me. But by Friday, when I attended a zoom meeting at work, I was more upset than before. Our workplace sends people to attend this or that conferences either in Hawaii or San Francisco or Chicago or some other more scenic place. I don’t know why I have never been given an opportunity to attend any of them, even though other colleagues doing the same job have been to more than one conferences. I simply don’t understand why. I mean I can present papers, high quality ones, at these conferences, better than the majority of them. They know this. They have read what I have written and have paid enough insincere lip services. I feel like they deliberately shut me out of it.

This morning when the same topic was presented and when I saw other people going here and there. I couldn’t remain silent any more. So I wrote to the meeting host via private chat, asking her why. She said she would relate the question to K, the top one in our department. I told her not to, because I would rather tell K myself, even though I’m sure she will report to K everything.

I wrote to K, “The reason I keep writing to you is I believe in telling the truth. Why don’t we ever have a chance of attending any of these conferences that were mentioned during this morning’s meeting?” Of course, I didn’t tell her all the truth, especially the truth about one of my colleagues’ leaving.

I expect her coming up with some explanation, that is, telling the truth as why I have been neglected in this regard. But I was disappointed when I received her email, “You can…just let [my manager] know. We try to support travel for any staff person 1) that’s been with clinical trials (CCP and ACP) organization for at least one year and 2) is in good performance standing (i.e. is not on a performance improvement plan). Have you let [my manager] know you are interested in attending a conference?”

I don’t know what to say. My manager never cares and never mentions any of these conferences at all! I was very very upset. I know I shouldn’t care. The fact is I feel more and more irrelevant at work. Still, I wrote back to her politely, “Thank you for getting back to me. Have a nice day.”

People are limited in terms of their ability to think beyond their own interests. I have found many people around me feel irrelevant at work, which explains why we have such a high employee turnover rate. It’s beyond my pay range to worry about this. I only record one of my experiences there.

By the way, one of my colleagues just had an interview this afternoon. I know she will leave soon. No wonder. I even have prepared a goodbye card for her.



My to-do list for this weekend, 2/13/2016


Last weekend I made a list and planned to start from that list, but I didn’t follow through because of Chinese New Year. The first day of Chinese New Year is 2/8/2016. People started getting busy a few days before that, with red bags sending around wechat groups, news and events, plus the annual spring festival gala, starting at 6 AM Sunday morning. I got caught up in it, and then I gave myself excuse for abandoning my plan.

Now the festival is over. I’m getting back to my daily weekend routine. Here’s the list of things for this weekend.

(1) Complete my review on book South of Broad.
(2) Read two books, one on game theory, one Join the Club, not planning to finish them both.
(3) Alternate reading with rooming cleaning

Set the timer before starting the work. Do it now. I will report the result next weekend.



How to get back to your New Year Resolution


Obviously time flies by without our catching it and without finding me getting anywhere in meeting my New Year Resolution. See how the first month of the new year is gone now! Today is the first day of the second month of the still new year.

Looking back at last month, I am sorry to say I have behaved like before and have not been as productive as I have promised myself. I can see how month slips by like before without me accomplishing anything. And I don’t want this month repeats last month or this year repeat last year.

This is what I have to do in order to have a more productive year than previous ones. On the first day of each month, I will ask myself this question: what do you want to achieve for this month? Lay out specific short-term goals for each week.

This is what I have for this month:
For daily brain exercise:
Memorize one investment term a day for this month. Review them daily.
For daily physical exercise:
Walk briskly for 30 minutes a day plus 100 jumprope a day
For daily reading
Read about Game Theory at least 30 minutes a day;

Week1: finish writing the first draft of two articles: (1) book review on South of Broad (2) the article on working with the monitor;

Week2: contact ACRP the MONITOR journal for publishing the monitor article; contact others if no reply; editing them if there is a need; work on an article on the two war memoir novels. Explore the topic of AE reporting for the second article to be published;

Week3: complete at least one book review on the book that I have finished reading;

Week4: write a piece on game theory.

I have so many books lying around on the floor that I have planned to read but never find time for them. I will read them if I have met my goals for the week.


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