Take a break and leave room for your brain to think and imagine


On the evening of 6/29, I was reading while my daughter was on the computer doing her project. It was this way for many evenings. Before I left for bed, I told her, “You need to give your brain a break after some times. If you spend all the time on the computer, you leave no time for your brain to think, digest, create and imagine…”

This is what I want to say to many people, especially younger generation. Their time on the computer is way too long to be good and healthy to them.



Use your time to create value, to add joy to your life


Use your time to create value and to add joy to your life.
I post these words on the wall in my office, initially to remind myself not to waste time. On 8/26/14, I looked at these words again and found it extra helpful when something unpleasant cropped up.

I shared something on patient locations with a colleague of mine, thinking she might need it. Instead of showing gratitude, she wrote back, “Do you seriously think I don’t know where these patients are? Give me a break…” I wrote back, “…I don’t know, so I dug them out and just thought of sharing with you…” Obviously, sharing is not always welcome and offering to share can be a slap on your face.

I don’t know how that colleague of mine feels after saying these words. For me, I feel like totally wasting time when I thought I was creating values and adding joy to my life by helping others. I guess I have made a poor judgment when I was trying to be nice and helpful.

In this culture, the best route to happiness is to focus on your own happiness, keeping your eyes and nose off anybody else… Call it selfish. You have to be this way in this extremely individualistic culture.



Key to happiness — void of too many desires


what is happiness

I will get back to this later with some explanation.



A father sending his son off to college


If you feel a sense of loss or overwhelmed with sadness when you have to say goodbye to your child, you will find many parents, be they famous or not famous, share your feeling. I read this piece today, Rob Lowe on sending his son off to college. It is a very touching one, well articulated, though a bit long when the author keeps flashing back to his childhood.

It is nearly a week since my daughter left for Boston. I still could not hold back tears when this morning I opened refrigerator and found blueberry that she likes and we bought for her. Everyday when I drive back home, passing their high school, the memory of going there always come back, hurting me. I don’t remember how many times I cried when I entered an empty house after work.

I told my son “No worry. Time will heal it all.” But as we age, the past is so much present and that past is no more. It seems time won’t do the trick, unless we lose memory of the dear-departed past.

Of course, that will be a terrible thing because that means senior dementia. It’s better to be tortured by the past memories than by any disease of this type. For now, I try to behave well as I know what my children expect me now.



Keep the spirit up…


“What I like most about change is that it is a synonym for hope. If you are taking risk, what you are really saying is ‘I believe in tomorrow and I will be part of it.‘”
— Linda Ellerbee, an American journalist



The more they walk, the farther away they are from us


The more they walk the farther away they are.
A friend of mine emailed me this 4 characters.
Indeed, the more the children walk, the further away and the more independent they are from us. We will have to live with the reality of a life without them being close by like before.

When I tried to focus on the future, I realized the future would not be as joyful as the past and the past has passed forever. Nothing’s the same. The older we become, the more we realize the past is more present than the present, determined by the biological based matter, which is our past-dominant memory.



My daughter has spent this summer with us, a true luxury


This morning we left for the airport at 7. My daughter would fly to Boston, where she would meet two of her college friends. From Boston, she will go to New York City on 8/19 to stay at her brother’s apartment. She will go back to Boston on 8/28.

Even before she left, I realized it was a true luxury to have her at home this summer, one that I don’t think I will be able to indulge next year and the years after. I am so glad she has decided to spend this summer with us, more than three months, even though this is not her first choice.

The fall semester won’t start until after September. I let her go early because I know she will have a great time with two of her great friends and of course with her brother and his girlfriend. I understand how young people are, that is, they will have hugely more fun with their friends than with their parents. I remember how things were when I was her age.

I miss her so much now.



It is hard to trust anyone you don’t know, really?


Never-trust-writing-to-anyone-that-I-dont-know
Yesterday I sent this email to someone who is doing the same work but at another location of the place where I work. Since both of us have to prepare for the coming audit and they have this kind of audit before, I thought I might learn something by reaching out to see how they prepare for it.

After a few hours, my boss called me regarding this email and inform me how improper it was for me to write to that person instead of directing any question to my boss, making me feel like having committed a big blunder. To say I was mildly disturbed is an understatement. This morning I wrote to that person, cc my boss and the senior director of the whole department:

“I am sorry that I wrote to the wrong person yesterday.
I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding regarding my email to you. Please understand there is nothing personal and entirely professional.

I want you to understand the reasons I wrote to you:
(1) You are the first … on the research contact list. I am your counterpart on the … side. I was asking my counterparts on … sides work related questions.

(2) I thought people at WW had experience with … audit and I might be able to learn something by reaching out to my colleagues. I wasn’t expecting anything more.

(3) There WAS some confusion on our end. Don’t worry there IS no confusion NOW.

Please, next time, I would appreciate it tremendously —
(1) if you don’t know the answer, simply reply to me by saying “I don’t know.”
(2) please INCLUDE me in the Cc.. line if you decide to forward MY EMAIL to anyone else. I appreciate a culture of openness and integrity above anything else.”

Guess what? This person wrote back saying — “No need to apologize to me” He truly believes I was apologetic and even offers to help next time. Yeah right, I still trust writing to anyone at all. What a joke! What a culture! I get into trouble even by asking someone in the same work place some work related questions. A disgusting workplace!



They will provide you lifelong benefits


two of each

Frequent two places throughout your life: playground and library.
Able to go through hardships and endure grievances.
Possess both dreams or goals and the will power to reach your goal
Two best doctors in life are: exercise and optimism
The key to good health is in the morning; the key to success is in the evening.



Tips on shoe buying


I got this from Harvard Medical School newsletter. I might have posted this one before as it was published on 7/11/2013, over a year ago, “8 tips for buying shoes that are good to your feet.” Still, before I delete it from my inbox, I’d like to share it here, even if it means second time around.

“Buying the right shoes is an investment in foot health. But how do you find ones that fit properly and provide adequate support?

Start with your own feet, and look at what’s already in your closet. Stand barefoot on a piece of paper or cardboard, and trace the shape of each foot. Now take your shoes, one by one, and place them on top of the drawing. If you’re like most people, your “comfortable” shoes will closely match the outline of your own feet.

Identify the shoes that cause pain. If you’re a woman, most of these will be shoes with narrow toes or high heels. Check to see if the toe of the shoe is narrower or shorter than your own toes.

When you’re ready to replace some of that uncomfortable footwear, these tips can help:
1. Wait until the afternoon to shop for shoes — your feet naturally expand with use during the day and may swell in hot weather.

2. Wear the same type of socks that you intend to wear with the shoes.

3. Have the salesperson measure both of your feet — and get measured every time you buy new shoes. If one foot is larger or wider than the other, buy a size that fits the larger foot.

4. Stand in the shoes. Make sure you have at least a quarter- to a half-inch of space between your longest toe and the end of the shoe.

5. Walk around in the shoes to determine how they feel. Is there enough room at the balls of the feet? Do the heels fit snugly, or do they pinch or slip off? Don’t rationalize that the shoes just need to be “broken in” or that they’ll stretch with time. Find shoes that fit from the start.

6. Trust your own comfort level rather than a shoe’s size or description. Sizes vary from one manufacturer to another. And no matter how comfortable an advertisement claims those shoes are, you’re the real judge.

7. Feel the inside of the shoes to see if they have any tags, seams, or other material that might irritate your feet or cause blisters.

8. Turn the shoes over and examine the soles. Are they sturdy enough to provide protection from sharp objects? Do they provide any cushioning? Also, take the sole test as you walk around the shoe store: do the soles cushion against impact? 9. Try to walk on hard surfaces as well as carpet to see how the shoe feel.



Healthy lifestyle helps you stay young even under stress


This is from medpage today, “Healthy Behaviors May Help Stressed Cells Stay Young”
8/2/2014

“In healthy women followed for over 1 year, accumulation of major life stressors predicted telomere attrition. Women who maintained relatively higher levels of health behaviors appeared to be protected when exposed to stress.

Major life stressors appear to be associated with significant acceleration of cellular aging over a relatively short period of time, but engaging in healthy behaviors such as eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep may mitigate that effect, a study showed.

While telomere length did not change drastically over the course of the year in the majority of women, there was still a significant amount of change and that change was predicted by life stressors and modifiable healthy behaviors.

The findings support the idea that stressful events can quickly lead to acceleration of immune cell aging in adults and that healthy behaviors can protect cells from this assault, Puterman said.

“In our sample of participants who were eating well, sleeping well, and exercising regularly over the course of the year, the amount of stress they experienced did not seem to impact telomere length,” he told MedPage Today.”


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