On 9/24/2011, I read an online article “5 Mistakes I Continue To Make in My Marriage,” by Gretchen Rubin, coming out on Thu Sep 22, 2011. Here’s the author’s list and my comments.
(1) Demanding gold stars. A typical elementary school behavior. Oh, how I crave appreciation and recognition! As if no praise means your work is unappreciated.
(2) Using a snappish tone. Have a very short fuse and become irritable extremely easily, as if you were talking to your parents who can always tolerate whatever nasty attitude you throw at them. Or expect your partner to tolerate or baby you as your parents once did.
(3) Not showing enough consideration. In other words, inconsiderate and selfish. I don’t care if I hurt your feeling as long as it makes me feel good to pour out whatever in my mind.
(4) Score-keeping. Afraid you do more than your partner does or you are at losing end of bargain game.
(5) Taking for granted either your partner or the kindness of your partner, or as if your partner should serve you. A revised version of entitlement.
As a rule, the only one who is willing to serve you whole-heartily without any complaint is your mother. Another golden rule: your partner is not your mother.
To be sure, a good marriage helps create great people, bringing out divinity in each other. A bad one brings out the beast in human. If you want happiness, do your share of good job and avoid the above five mistakes.