On the way back from my daughter’s art class, I mentioned to her another possible ending for Dr. Jekyll.
“Dr. Jekyll starts his downfall with Mr. Hyde all by himself without ever telling anyone. Do you think there will be a different ending if Dr. Jekyll confides his problem to his close friend before it is too late for him?” After all, his friend can help him by taking away the transformation drug or treat his addiction to Mr. Hyde like we treat drug-addicts today.
“No, I don’t think so. I think he will not tell his friend, as he does not want his friends to see the other side of him. Plus, I think he is bad in the beginning,” said she. Indeed, Dr. Jekyll first ushers into his life Mr. Hyde so that he can find an output for his gaiety life. Still, I would think he has the desire to be both good and bad and even in the end he still wants to be Dr. Jekyll. Thus, if it is possible, he could end up as Dr. Jekyll. He is helpless when Mr. Hyde gets stronger than Dr. Jekyll and that’s the moment when a friend might make a difference.
This might be a lesson that the author has no intention of giving; nonetheless we can learn from this book. That is, ask for help when you reach the point where you cannot help yourself. Better losing face now than the final inevitable showdown. Of course, the best policy is to never give Mr. Hyde a chance to be alive.
At first Dr. Jekyll needs the drugs to metamorphose himself into Mr. Hyde. But as the transformation takes place frequently, Mr. Hyde gets stronger and bolder, so much so that he can initiate this transformation without the help of the drug. Eventually, Mr. Hyde, the evil part of us, takes total control over Dr. Jekyll and totally replaces him.
The author seems to tell his readers that there is a constant fight between the good and the evil within us. If we ever give the evil part a chance to express itself, as the days go by, it will gain strength, then it will tightly seize us like an addiction, and completely destroy us in the end.
This reminds me so much of drug or smoke addictions or any undesirable habits. The deeper a person allows himself to go down the addiction, the harder it will be to break away from it, and the sooner it will come when he meets the same fate as Dr. Jekyll.
To be continued tomorrow.
Yes, we all have read or heard of R.L. Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My daughter first read an adapted version when she was 8 years old. Lately when she read about psychology, she picked up this book again. I read it one more time with her so that we have a topic for some meaningful conversation.
On the surface the author tells his readers that we all consists of two parts — the good and kind one embodied in Dr. Jekyll and his bad and vicious opposite personified by Mr. Hyde — all in one person. We try to hide the depraved and anti-social part in us, thus the author calls this part of us Mr. Hyde.
I told my daughter the author wants to say a lot more than this surface message. She agrees, “Yes, in the end Mr. Hyde defeats Dr. Jekyll. It means the bad triumphs over the good, if you allow the bad to ever take place. You cannot let the bad things happen in the first place.”
To be continued tomorrow.
On 3/18/2010, a friend of mine called and we talked a lot about education of young children. To be sure, young children are very playful by nature. One thing I remember clearly from my son’s primary school teachers is their comment on how much he liked to play. Nearly all of them are like this. I would not worry too much about this.
When looking back, I think it extremely important to work on instilling something beautiful in the minds of the youngsters. These tender young years are the best time for parents to sow this seed, so that they always have this dream of the most beautiful, of high ideal and aspiration.
When their hearts and souls are filled with this dream of something beautiful, so beautiful and great that they don’t want to give it up easily. It gives them a great pleasure to indulge in such a beautiful dream and then later will motivate them to exert great efforts to get closer to their beautiful dream. As I mention in one of my postings, family is the place where one’s vision of future, ideal of life are cultivated and formed.
To be sure, this is different from the grandiosity that Richard Nixon or some similar politicians demonstrated but something larger, broader and more beautiful than what we see in real life. Let them know life cannot be worthwhile without some transcendental value, for which they should strive for. The good part of it is when this seed is deeply rooted in their minds, they won’t stop pursuing the greatness even if you ask them to. This must be done when they are young.
The little children might have this or that undesirable places that need improvement. Yet they will all become insignificant when you think of what aspiration, ideal and goal that the young child should have for his whole life. I don’t mean to ignore the undesirable parts, but just don’t make it too much a big deal. Don’t make his life less happier because of this minor issues.
I love this poem on dream by Langston Hughes. Here it is again.
Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow
I remember on the 15th birthday of one of our relatives in China, his family held a huge banquet, the one matching that of a prince, a big exaggeration of course, with a gigantic cake, and we even sent money for his birthday. That was 1999.
On my daughter’s 15th birthday, we have none of this festival-like activity, even though it falls on a weekend. With only two of us, we went to do something special yesterday evening. My daughter and her friend went out for a lunch today. In the evening, she first had her art class, then we went out to get her something she said she needed.
On top of this, I gave a birthday card from Border’s and dedicated to her this posting. Further addition to her birthday delight is a call from her brother who is still in California. Her cousin bought her a birthday cake. I don’t remember what birthday gifts that I once bought for my daughter and I am sure she does not remember this neither. Does it really matter? It is not what I give to her but what I have done and am doing for her that will impact her and reaching her life in the long years to come. I know she appreciates the gifts that I am giving her every single day of her life. On her special day, I want to let her know that she is the most precious one in the heart of a mother.
These are the gifts that I am giving her everyday —
When I prepare fruit or vegetable snack for her nearly every night;
When she gets back home from track activity, I massage her feet and legs to relieve her muscle pain;
When I clean her desk so that she can have an organized place to work;
When I restrict her time on the internet so that she can focus on what she should do;
When I insist on her doing what she should do even if she does not want to;
When I go to work very early in the morning so that I can be with her in the afternoon;
When I drive her to places for her various classes and activities;
When I go grocery shopping and always have in mind what she likes to eat;
When I constantly talk to her patiently about everything that needs her attention;
When I respect her decisions even if I do not agree with all of them;
When I share with her my observation, experience, reading, and understanding of life;
When I ask her to eat healthy foods and have enough rest and exercise, so that she will be feel good about herself;
When I write many of my postings and have her in my mind. In fact, I make sure she receives this gift of mine; and to be sure, many more are coming on her way… all because I care.
In the end, what matters is when the child grows into a wonderful individual and he/she knows this is the best gift that a parent can possibly give to a child. Nothing pronounces the failure of one’s parenting more soundly than the fact that in the end the child values only materials that he or she can get from the parents and forgets everything else, spirit and soul.
Before I close this long posting, I am so glad when I look back and see that during the past year, my daughter has made tremendous improvements toward the goal she set for herself. She has filled my heart with so much joy, fun and love. Words cannot describe how much I appreciate all this. I have no doubt in my mind that she will emerge from high school a happy, self-confident, responsible, independent, and accomplished individual.
Happy Birthday, my dearest daughter.
A colleague of mine in her 40s was just diagnosed with breast cancer. When I asked how she found it out. She said she had a normal mammogram last December, but in February this year when she did her monthly self-check, she felt a small lump on the outside of her breast near her arm pit. She thought it better to have a doctor check it up. After some medical workout, which includes an MRI and biopsy, two tumors were detected in her breast and tested to be positive and a lymph node to be positive, too. Good news is she catches it early and it has not metastasized to other body organ.
She belongs to one of those who have large and dense breasts, which offer good hiding place for tumors at the time of mammogram. I don’t know when she could detect it if it had not involved a lymph node outside the breast. It is almost dreadful to imagine the consequence.
We had a site initiation meeting on 3/1/2010 for a clinical trial. There is a colleague sitting next to me. She is very conscientious at her work. Very valuable to the employer. I have a great deal of respect for her. Yet, she seems so obsessed with getting every tiny detail right that she seems to be lost in this burning pursuit and beomes completely visionless.
At best, she will be an excellent follower. There is nothing wrong with being a single-minded dedicated employee if that is what you want to be 5 or 10 years down the road.
Otherwise, while keeping your nose down to the earth, you should always keep your eyes upward, widely open for opportunities to enrich yourself, to equip yourself with skills and experience so that you are always ready for leap and jumps when the opportunity knocks at your door. You should never fold up the wing of your dreams and ideals while having your mind being occupied with the work on hand. That’s how you can possibly surpass yourself while a being responsible employee.
This is what I want to tell my children before their birthday.
Don’t think you have endless free time and you are young forever.
Don’t say “It’s my time. I can do whatever I want.”
Don’t complain that you don’t have time for this or that when you spend generously in getting ready for breakfast, in taking shower, getting ready for bed, and carelessly spending time here and there. And pretty soon you find the day is gone without getting anything done.
Don’t be upset every time you are reminded of saving time from this endless waste. The real upset will hit you later when it is too late.
If you waste time on minor things, you certainly don’t have time for the major event. Your major pursuit will be lost among the minor trivials.
If you don’t watch for these tiny time thieves, little by little, day after day, your whole youthful years are chipped off your life, leaving you empty and unhappy.
I have watched people playing everyday, unfailingly. Once again, show me how you spend your disposable time and I will show you your future.
Last Friday I worked at another clinic of our company, where my colleague and I did some chatting before we dug into our work. My colleague who is very much a friend of mine told me that she had a brawl with the manager and the manager must hate her now. “I am not afraid of her,” said my friend.
(1) I don’t understand why she fights with the manager or with anyone for that matter? She takes care of her responsibility while manager takes care of hers, strictly business or professional. How could a fight burst out between them?
(2) Managers are human, too. As any fight tends to create a hard feeling between persons involved, fight with the manager will inevitably make it uncomfortable for the two to talk to each other. Indeed, this is the case now.
It is really not a matter of who-is-afraid-of-who but how to have a pleasant work environment. By the end of the day, I must say a fight hurt us more than hurting anybody else. Therefore, avoid fight as much as we can. Don’t be the first one to raise voice. If we are upset over some grievances, instead of fight, talk or learn to express ourselves in the way that does not make people uncomfortable. Don’t take anything at work personal. Talking is the skill that we must be equipped at work place.
When my son was small, I was a graduate student, living on scholarship and the meager paycheck as part-time instructor in sociology department of BGSU. At that time, I tried to make his birthday a special day by taking him out to places, taking pictures, and bringing home toys that he liked. When he was in primary school, he came back from his friend’s house telling me how many toys that his friends had, literally covering a whole bed. I kept telling him to count his blessings and enjoy what he had. “Think of those hungry kids in Africa,” was what I used to tell him. I even showed him a picture of the kid that I sponsored via Christian Children Fund. I am sure he could not understand fully what I meant at that time and might feel deprived.
Yet, I do not regret not having spent a whole lot on his toys. After all these years, I am certain he has forgotten the toys or anything that I have bought for him, but he will always remember, appreciate and treasure the love and care that I showered upon him throughout his growing-up years at his first home. In the long run, it is the quality of this loving care that counts and that will survive all materials.
Happy Birthday, my big boy, the greatest boy of all. I love you. Your sister made a birthday card for you. I know you are very busy now. I wish you best luck in all your endeavors. Above all, find some time to enjoy your special day with your friends in Boston and then later in California.
Below is what I calculated the amount of time saved for a friend of mine who is thinking of moving to another office. The move will shorten the time of her daily commune from 90 to less than 20 minutes. The move will save her 303 hours per year. So great!
90 – 20 minutes = 70 min. per day; 70 x 40 (hr) = 350 min. per week; 350 x 52 (week) = 18,200 minutes, 303 and a half hours per year. Imagine that! You would be surprised how much time you can save in one year if you do a little math.
If you put to good use of these saved 303 hours every year, they can benefit you tremendously in the long run. That’s why I choose to live as close to work place as possible. You save both time and gas everyday.
This is something I keep telling my children – it is better to spend more money on housing, living closer to the office, than spend more time driving to the office in order to save money on housing. When talking about saving, most people always think of money, as if time does not worth saving.
For my children, you can always make money as long as you have health and skills, but nothing can get back lost time, especially time senselessly lost everyday commuting to work. You’d rather compromise your living arrangement than losing too much time on the road.
Kansas City (KCMSD) spent as much as $11,700 per student on a cost of living adjusted basis, much more than many large districts in the country, bringing student-teacher ratio to 12 or 13 to 1, the lowest of major school district in the country.
You think you would get the expected result? Wrong. School performance, social integration, achievement gap, and graduation rate remain stubbornly unchanged. Even with tremendous amount of money pouring into school, it is still unrealistic to expect any miracle from a school district whose students come from poverty-stricken areas with most of families headed by low-educated single-parents.
Education starts first and foremost from one’s family where a child spends two-third of his day and has most interactions and influence. Family is where one’s aspiration, dreams, motivation to rise in society, and vision of future are cultivated and encouraged. Family is the root of all for every one of us.
This is as much a social problem as an educational one. Perhaps, instead of giving money to school or trying to get a new crop of teachers by laying off the old ones, we should turn our eyes to parents and invest some resource in educating parents in any poor-school-performance district or at least get their cooperation. Nothing can be done until you get to the root of all education problems — the culture and the family.
Recently I learned of a medical news on stammering, that is, scientists now say they have identified three genes which may cause stammering in some people and they believe that mutations which have already been tied to metabolic disorders may also affect the way in which parts of the brain function.
Like ADD (attention deficit disorder), I would think this kind of speech abnormalities is more a behavioral problem than a physical one, the product of bad habits. I remember I was lucky enough to have experienced both during my early school years and then, unaided by any medicine, emerged into adulthood free from both and without any sequela.
For those whose brains run faster than their tongues, among other things, they need to learn to control their tongues and manage to have their voices smoothly heard. It is true that behavioral change demands more efforts and will power than medical intervention. That’s why people tend to look for easy solution.
Same can be said of quitting smoking. Instead of relying on any magic medicine or shortcuts, people should realize the final solution is never easy to get by. They have to deal with it the hard with tons of efforts and will power.
A few days before their birthday, I want to share this piece with my children. Life can be as wonderful as you personally make it. It is great that you have dreams and ideals. Yet, you have to take solid steps to get closer to your dreams.
It won’t look that beautiful when you look back and find your life consist of a series of compromises and discounts, all because of lack of serious efforts. Therefore, for each step you make, don’t ever start making compromise. Because once you compromise, you will soon get used to accepting second best and then another second best, and evetually you settle your life at a sad discount.
Both of you are familiar with the life story of Helen Keller. If a person with such handicap coud live such a fulfilled life, what else cannot be accomplished by normal healthy beings?
I love these Chinese words!
This was from a friend of mine regarding college students in China. I know it is not a joke even though it reads like one. I have personally known or heard similar story. That’s how they fail and how they become loafers or parasites, living off their parents. Here’s the translation.
They sleep through the whole class;
So that, throughout the night, the owls are not tired.
At school cafeteria, they never wait in line;
They won’t stop texting until they are in debt.
On smoking and gambling, they know them all;
Ten bottles of beer won’t knock them out.
They cut classes together in groups.
They never have any luck in romantic relationships.
They miss everything in exams.
Long live university!
Not long ago, Obama snubbed China by meeting Dala Lama. Today, we see the same thing happens when Israel announces building of more settlements in occupied East Jerusalem, directly confronting the U.S. VP Joe. Now, the “affront” and “insult” come back to Obama.
The Jews have built more than 100 settlements since Israel’s occupation of the West Bank and East Jerusalem in 1967, all of which are considered illegal under international law and have continued up to now, mostly because the Jews have the backup of number one superpower in the world. The alliance, of course, has angered most of an otherwise powerless un-Jews and spread bad feelings against both the U.S. and the Jews.
Now the U.S. wants to be friend among the Arabs and to play the role of peace-maker. But the monster it has fostered refuses to abide and rejects any attempt to curb its expansion.
While China has a few cards to play when Obama ignored her protests, it is almost interesting to see what U.S. can do if its fostered son goes ahead with his decision to build 1,600 new homes in occupied East Jerusalem.
P.S. today we learn of Palestinians riot in East Jerusalem, so much for the peace-loving Uncle Sam and his rebellious son.
On the way from her school to gas station on 2/10/2010, I was thinking of going home directly because my daughter was going to have a test the next day, but I needed to get gas for the car and also get something else from grocery store. I told my daughter, “Sometimes I am really torn between the desire to make you happy and the need to make you work hard so that you can have good grades and get to place of your dream. I know grades are not important and there are many things in life that are more important than grades. But still we need good grades because that’s how people measure you when they don’t know you.”
“Well, we have to go by the rule. Plus, I won’t be happy if I don’t have good grades and not be able to go where I want to go,” said she. I am glad she is so much mature now, at least more mature than some of my adult friends.
To certain extent, socialization process is one of learning and following the rules of the society. Most of successful individuals are good at playing by the rule for their advantage. For example, they realize what is needed to get into a school or a company, so they adapt themselves so that they present themselves as exactly the kind of person for that school or the company. I am not sure how much individuality is preserved in the process and how happy or unhappy they are, but success will guarantee one more freedom to break the rule. A nice thing to look forward to. Until the day we become the ones who make the rule, we have to follow the rule laid off by other rule-makers.
On last Monday morning, 3/8, I heard on my way to work news on education again. “The Education Department is launching 38 investigations into possible civil rights violations by schools and colleges in more than 30 states. Secretary Arne Duncan makes the announcement Monday in Selma, Alabama, where he will join civil rights leaders to commemorate the 45th anniversary of one of the bloodiest clashes between protesters and state police.” Next we learned more news about the achievement and education gap between white and non-white, that is, black students trail far behind white in math and English, etc. Of course the system and the teachers with prejudice were blamed for this black failure in school.
I lost my patience hearing talks like this when people presented the gap of achievement together with the role of school and teacher. Why wasn’t there any talk on the role of the parents in students’s failed school performance. It is ridiculous to expect teachers to dispense discipline instead of imparting knowledge. As responsible parents, we all know very well that no real learning is possible with proper discipine. Teachers are to teach not to discipline bad-behaved children.
We will never be able to narrow this school achievement gap if we refuse to confront honestly the problem that is rooted in the culture, the one that has failed to raise good students and succeeded in supply most to the U.S. prisons. Without a thorough cultural shakeup, we can get nowhere no matter how much money we squander into the system.
On 3/8, my daughter was on the computer doing her homework and did not get off till after 1 AM. The next day I took away the computer and asked her to work on her homework using her textbook.
The result is she got a lot more work done by 9 PM, without computer. I said to her, “This is like an experiment. You can see how much time you can save when you are not on the computer.”
She agreed that once she was on the internet, she found it hard not to surf around. Then one click after another, and time passed very fast this way and she had to cut back her sleep for having spent too much time on the internet.
Imagine what will that lead you to when you spend more and get less done, wasting a large chunk of time surfing! Nowhere. I hope both of my children will remember this experiment.
I have become acquainted with some young people, younger than 30, older than college kids, both boys and grils. They have one thing in common, that is, they are all dissatisfied with their current status. Some need to go back to school while others have not found their ideal jobs. Whenever they come to my attention, one question always comes to my mind. Would they have been better off if they had have different parenting when they were young? I strongly believe that proper parenting and guiding make big difference in a person’s life. Thus, I would not think it is their fault that they now are not happy with their lives.
Yes, you may say they can always come back to school or make extra efforts to make up for the lost time. Yet, if they were not equipped with the will to rise above when they were young, how can we realistically expect them to be better than their previous self? Most likely, nothing will change them too drastically at this stage of their life, as human beings are very much the products of habits and they have been too much controlled by the habits formed in the first 20 years of their lives. Like smoking, if you start young and get addicted, it will take extra dose of will power to get off the hook.
In the eyes of some minors, proper parenting may look like too much parental control. They may resent this at this age when they don’t know better and cannot see farther than their noses. Yet, if the minors cannot control themselves, responsible parents, instead taking an easy way out and giving up authority, should step forward and stand up for the children’s benefit. And it is better to exercise this uncomfortable control now and get them on the right track than letting the bad habit take over the control over them 10 years later.
This is another posting written especially for my children before their birthday.
This is one of the few postings that I write prior to their birthday. Most of them I have said to them before. In fact, I emphasize to them not once but several times. I won’t stop until I see the sign of improvement in them.
Firstly, you are 15 or 21 only once. Take full advantage of what you have at this moment because the moment will be gone forever, faster than you realize it.
Secondly, think ahead. It will always motivate you to action if you can think of this question everyday– what do you want to see yourself five years down the road?
Thirdly, when you were little and did not know better than wasting time while taking extracurricular classes. Now, it is high time you should realize that taking any classes is an investment, from which you should expect some returns. Like all investments, the cost for this one is your time.
You have way passed the age when you simply follow your instinct without thinking or do whatever you like, going around purposelessly and carefree. Get into the habit of making yourself accountable for the time you spent on these classes and any other activities, especially those classes that run year after year. That is, after dedicating a few years on one class, you should expect yourself to reach certain level on this and always try to make your skill work for you. If you don’t set any target of achievement and still behave like primary school pupils — doing thing for fun, you will most likely waste your time. You are better off putting this time into something else. In fact, it is high time that you should stop doing something just because you want, even if you have something more urgent on hand.
“Oops, I mess up.” There goes one blunder, then follow another. To be sure, the sky won’t collapse because of one mess-up or two. Yet, during a few critical years in your life you will eventually feel the ultimate ouch and the almost irreparable damage if you accumulate too many “Oops.” Too many blunders make them not accidents any more, just as too many exceptions make it a rule. That’s how you are judged and classified as either loafer or mediocre or outstanding citizen.
Keep in mind you are only allowed a limited number of oops, no matter where you are. That’s why we have three strikes laws. Remember after three strikes and you are out of the game. Sometimes you don’t even have a second chance. Ask those who fooled away their precious high school years and then came back to classroom ten years later.
This is especially written for my children and hope they will watch out and be aware of the heavy cost of those hapless blunders.
Same topic once more.
It is these articles that makes me think about this key feature of today’s business scale. “Apple Sues Maker of Google Phone,” “Apple sues HTC over phone patents ” When I read this article, I was curious to find out where this handset manufacturer is located, its owner and other information, just as I was trying to find out who Trendmicro was. It turns out its product HTC Hero wins Best Mobile Handset or Device for the Global Mobile Awards 2010.
I find out there are many companies who register in one country, is based in another, with employees in yet another one, all serving a global market, like Apple and Microsoft. This is the one key feature of any successful venture today.
For my son, this is especially true when we face an increasingly declining US economy. Going global in all aspects of a business, even if it serves a local need, is the only solution to any business venture. It needs tremendous amount of research, information and knowledge.
Today is International Women’s Day, the day to celebrate the rising social and economic status of women world wide. The day was first marked among socialist countries and later widely accepted globally, with the exception of the U.S. A big tribute to this day is Kathryn Bigelow, the first woman to win the best directing Oscar, as her Iraq war drama The Hurt Locker took six prizes, including best film.
Last weekend was warm and nice. I had previously bought some plants and seeds and had given them my tender loving care.
I find gardening the most relaxing activity of all. No stress, no yelling, and no embarrassment. I can talk to the plants without the fear of saying something wrong, a feeling of safe with Mother Nature.
That’s why gardening is one of my favorite activities for weekend.
Yesterday morning I drove my daughter to Union Station for the last science seminar for this school year. It always feels my heart with excitement when I see the gathering of so many young people.
On the way back home, I shared my excitement with my daughter. Of course, she does not feel the same way since she is with people of this age group everyday and in fact, she is one of them.
These young people not only remind me the days when I was their age, but also the dreams and aspirations that I used to have back then. For them, the world is yet unfolding before their eyes, filled with unlimited opportunities and possibilities. As I was told before, the sky is the limit. Reach out for your dream and your future will be as bright as anything you can imagine.
I mentioned to my daughter some young people that both of us know of. I cannot say the same thing of those people as they are over 10 years of her senior and have way passed their high school years.
Alas, we are young and have this unlimited opportunities only once. Time and tide wait for none. Nothing will be the same once the youth years are gone. Talk about type A personality! This is especially written for my children.
We had a a personality type test at office. I never took it before so I was curious to learn the result. I learned that I have type A personality. Well, nice to know A comes before B, so it should be better than anything comes after it. That was my first reaction. As I read more, I realize it is not very far from truth.
People with type A personality are said to be characterized by an exaggerated sense of time urgency, competitiveness, anger and hostility. People who share certain characteristics with you are often concerned with the acquisition of objects and generally dissatisfied with the world, including oneself. These people don’t know how and when to relax. People probably get tense around type A people, and they tend to feel threatened in presence of type A folks.
I like some part of it and I realize I need to make some changes. That is, people with type A personality need to learn to be Type B or C or anything un-A. The following is the advice given to type A person — Continuous stress and allowing unexpressed feelings to pile up are not good for your health. You should start learning how to relax, to let go, and enjoy life. Try to take it easy and be lazy sometimes. Yes, how people love to be lazy. Not on this wonderful Saturday.
The world is so much richer because of these different types of people and the endless mixtures of various types.
On the Sunday of 2/7/2010, while I was waiting outside the rink for my daughter’s skating, I had a nice chat with a parent whose daughter was also in the rink. She came from Taiwan and told me something interesting about Taiwan. Well, interesting because I hear of the same thing going on in mainland China. It is called chewing the old bones. That is, adult children living off the backs of their parents.
These adult children have graduated from college but choose to stay at their parents’ home doing nothing. Because they have not found a job of their like. Sometimes, it is because they don’t like what they are paid; or they are afraid of hardship involved in the job; or they don’t like people around their work place. Anyway, they can find thousand of lame excuses for not working outside home because they can always live on either their parents’ paycheck or their parents’ life time savings.
I know of one such young people staying home for a year after graduation, saying “I could go to work at … because the few thousand monthly salary is not worthy it…” I don’t know what has happened to young people today, but I firmly believe the root of this problem lies in the parents who have spoiled and continued to spoil and ruin their children. The adult children could always find some earnings at a fast-food restaurant before they land on their ideal position. But they wouldn’t. Because they have their loving parents to feed and shelter them. Nice parents, complain not. You reap what you sow. For the adult children, enjoy your leisure till the old bones are thoroughly consumed.
Here’s one more reason to be kind to others — impact on your health. On the average, kind people enjoy longer life than unkind ones. It makes perfect sense when you think of the fact that people with unkind thoughts waste too much time and energe on how to hurt others. By hurting others, the hurt will eventually return to the doer. Imagine the long-term impact on that person.
Hence, do good whenever you can. After all, it is not everyday that we are given the chance to show our kindness and to benefit our health.
It is utterly disturbing to hear Obama’s comment on last week’s firing of all of the educators at Central Falls High School in Rhode Island —
Central Falls High School of RI saw only 7% 11-graders passing state math tests. As the result, the board overseeing this high school fired 93 teachers and other staff members.
Obama commented, “If a school continues to fail its students year after year after year, if it doesn’t show signs of improvement, then there’s got to be a sense of accountability. And that’s what happened in Rhode Island last week at a chronically troubled school, when just 7 percent of 11th-graders passed state math tests — 7 percent.”
Obama is wrong on at least two accounts. First, Obama forgot that his success and those of many other blacks came from their strong family backgrounds, absolutely not from any successful school system. If the students from non-English language background are further reinforced by low socio-economical status, never do their homework at home or are unable to because of lack of any support from their parents, they are besieged with numerous social problems that are beyond the responsibilities of the teachers at school. If they are unprepared each day for classroom, what can we expect of the teachers?
Secondly, Obama sounds like most of losers who blame the system for individual failure. In so doing, he exculpates parents who spend more time with their children and are the real criminals for their youngsters’ failure.
School matters but only to the extent when parents care and get involved, too. Obama expects beautiful flowers bursting out of unfertilized bathroom. Ridiculous!
Last Sunday a friend of mine called from Alabama. She told me something more pathetic than funny.
She knows a couple whose child used to work in Seattle area. The couple told their child that they would move to Seattle just to be near to the child. As they were planning on the move, the child told them he was going to move to east coast due to a job transfer.
It is perfectly understandable when the aging parents want to live closer to their children. Yet, the children have their own career and lives. It is simply not feasible to follow the younger generation whenever they make a move.
I cannot laugh when I see myself as one of them.
March is the month for both of my children, the month reminds me how much I have been blessed by their presence.
Every time my son calls and asks about me, I feel so much blessed;
Every time my daughter calls me from downstair, “Mom, come and eat delicious food,” I feel delicious food already in my mouth;
When my son talks to me about his plan and activities, I feel abubdantly proud and rewarded.
When my daughter told her brother “Mom has been sick” and my son asked me over the phone why I did not tell him this, I am certain I am already better with their loving concern.
When I come home tired, my daughter insists that I rest in bed and not cook the dinner, I feel a warm stream rushing through my body.
Parents will enjoy the blessing of the shade when the young seedlings they raised with tender loving care have grown into skyscraping trees, able to stand any extreme weather, and ready to give back to those who have loved and raised them.