Human feelings invariably play a role in all human interactions, no matter where you go. In the U.S. the first impression during a job interview is very much made of feelings, one’s like or dislike of the interviewees, unexplainable at times and not based on reason. Yet, in most cases, feelings play a much lesser role in the U.S. than in China. The United States, being vastly different from China, is largely a land of laws.

The visit of the aunt and uncle of the family on 1/19/2010 brought to us the news of their son’s second divorce, under the excuse of his second wife’s mistreatment of the child of his first marriage. Later we learned the man had another extramarital affair before this second divorce, as if history repeats itself again and again, giving us a peek at coming attractions. No wonder China rates highest in divorce in the land strangely governed by human feelings and relations instead of laws and rules, fashionably reinforced by modern divorce laws.

I have always been puzzled by the surreal complexities of human relations in an other-oriented culture but am more than amazed by the rising disintegration of families brought upon by the hot pursuit of inner-oriented feelings or gan3 jue3 at the cost of everything else.

It is no exaggeration to claim that on the average people in China are hugely more complicated than those outside China.