Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Dec 22, 2009

The Trickest Part of Parenting Is…

Filed under: Parenting 101 — admin @ 12:30 am

On the evening of 12/20/2009, I talked to my relative in China about the challenge of responsible parenting. It is a difficult topic because people invariably have very different standards on what constitutes a good parenting. I know some people believe the best parenting is the least parenting, so much like some politicians who uphold the best government is the least governing.

Very often parents act upon the assumption that whatever they do, they do it for the benefit of the children and always with good intentions. Unbeknown to most parents, whatever the parents do, they inevitably leave permanent imprints on their children. When we talked about our parents, we realized that they had definitely shaped our view of life and the world and dictated the way we deal with people. Whatever we do, there is the shadow of early parenting at work.

Indeed, by now I have realized parenting, at least responsible parenting, is one of the toughest tasks that an adult can possibly face. On the one hand, you want to implement proper discipline on the child, to rid the little one of any undesirable habits or make the little one do what he should do; on the other hand, you don’t want the discipline too harsh that you ruin an otherwise perfect childhood.

On the one hand, you want them to be happy and carefree; on the other hand, you know they cannot have their way all the time because their way may not be the best way for them in the long run. Take for example the simple food issue.

A child like to eat hamburgers plus french fries and absolute no vegetable, the most unhealthy lifestyle being the key ingredient to his being happy. I see not a few parents will feed their children the way they want. They might have a happy childhood but will have to pay the price later in their lives in the form of heart attack and high cholesterol and even early grave

You think love is the best nutrient for the children, but you don’t want to unwisely smother them with too much of it.

The trickest part of parenting is to make children willingly do the right thing without the uncomfortable discipline and supervision. So far, I have not been so lucky to crack this trick. I always want to do what I believe is the right thing but I am always afraid that I might make everybody unhappy because of this.


  1. […] Mom Write » The Trickest Part of Parenting Isâ?¦ […]

    Pingback by Solving Playgroup Problems | Parenting Help in Maine — 1, Dec 22, 2009 @ 5:56 pm

  2. You are on the right track in using the “doing the right thing” philosophy. As children and teenagers we had our tough times with our parents discipling us. We had moments where we did not agree with them. What I learned through it all was that even though I was angry at my parent’s decision that did not go my way, I still knew that they had my best intentions in mind. I also realized that they were trying to teach me to always do the right thing. I think that if continue to push that upon your own children it will eventually make sense to them and they will appreciate you teaching them. Parenting is not meant to be easy but sometimes its the basic philosophys that are the most important.

    Comment by bassinets — 1, Feb 17, 2010 @ 12:59 pm

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