An adult relative of ours always leaves a big mess wherever he goes. He surely does it with a vengeance. I came to understand him after his own explanation. He often talked about his mother’s obsession over order and cleanness, “Our house is not a resident place. It is like a hotel.” Commenting on his own messy habit, he said, “I deliberately do no cleaning at all simply because my mother has been over-concerned about being clean.”

He certainly demonstrates a rebellious mentality — the more you nag about cleanness, the more I will go the other direction, just to upset you. Sometimes I cannot help thinking about it, perhaps because I see something similar in our household or because it makes me think about parenting in general. To be sure, cleanness is a good habit, but what makes someone growing up in a spotless house so much hate this good habit? Aren’t we parent responsible for this negative attitude?

Dear me, it takes so much wisdom to be a good parent and good parents are so much in short supply!