Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Mar 24, 2009

Parenting — You Reap What You Sow

Filed under: Father — admin @ 8:13 am

Spring sowing season always reminds me of the Chinese saying, Sow bean, reap bean; Sow melon, reap melon. Don’t complain if you see other people’s plate full of delicious fruits while you don’t have any. You know I am talking about parenting, don’t you? It is both similar to and different from actual spring sowing.

They all emphasize the consequence of our actions in early time. The difference lies in the fact that you can always sow next time when spring comes around and there is always next spring as long as you live. Not with parenting, sadly to say. Once the child becomes an adult, we don’t have the magic to turn back the clock.

I know of two fathers, both being long-time friends of mine. One father has a son of my son’s age, about one month younger. He sounds such a grumpy dad, never writing to me without complaining about his son. The boy either failed in school or did not go to class after the dad had paid for the tuition. His negative attitude is very discouraging.

Honestly, I don’t have patience hearing him out and don’t even want to read his emails. To garbage, it often goes. Toxic and time-wasting. I know how cantankerous I sound to be. My questions are: where were you when the boy was little? Did you spend time making sure the boy on the right track? No, nothing like this. Then, as you sow so shall you reap. Don’t act like a whining baby.

Opposite to this is another friend of mine, also from high school, in fact, the dad of the girl who wrote poems posted on 3/4, 3/7, and 3/8 of this year. His writings of the girl are thoroughly exuberant with joy and content. You can even see his smile and happiness on his face just from his writing! Well, with your imagination. I am sooo happy for him!

If you spend your time going fishing or playing games while your child is little, in formative stage, think again. You might be better off postponing fishing or gaming till your child is in college, that is, till the fall of your season. Why? For your own happiness. Are you happy with a bitter melon in the fall?

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