Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Jan 7, 2009

Instead of Cursing the Darkness, Light a Candle

Filed under: Parenting 101 — admin @ 8:15 am

Okay, I confess a feeling of guilt when I gave such a lengthy description of a 10-year-old boy’s lack of self-control in yesterday’s posting, as if I took great delight in airing his dirty linen to the public. Such a mean entertainment! How could I write non-stop when it comes to other people’s weakness? Perhaps I was too upset being waken up and unable to get back to sleep that night. I have promised myself not to devote my posting to such mean-spirited engagement any more, no matter what.

As the old saying goes, “instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle.” If I do not have the match to light the candle or if the candle refuses to be lit, say nothing and live with the darkness or illuminate the night with your own light. It never helps if all I can do is to complain or curse whatever darkness I have in mind.

The key is paying no attention to whatever impudent behavior or brazen disrespect that is rontinely exhibited by the 10-year-old. It is simply not nice to focus on any undesirable behavior for too long. Even toxic to the mind. Besides, a person will lose the sight of the big picture when his mind is grounded to such granular details. This seems the real catastrophe to me. Luckily, this is not my style.

The world is so diverse and so not-ideal, well, if we cannot make a change, at least, be on guard so that we ourselves will not be unfavorably changed as the result. This posting is written for my children — aren’t you proud of your old fashioned mom?

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