I have been hesitating in talking about rules to some children in my family. Why am I so hesitating? The answer is simple — I have not thought of a better way of communicating them to him.

If the rules are too generous, they won’t work. It only serves to feed into his head a disrespect of rules and those who make the rules.

Rules are preventive, restraining, and aiming at regulating our behavior. It is an exercise of authority over a minor or anyone below you in power or position. They are made for enforcement.  It is better not to have any rules that are not enforceable.

The assumption behind a rule is this — I cannot trust you to behave well by yourself, so I have to exercise some authority by enforcing some rules upon you, like an invisible chain limiting you from undesirable behavior.  Would you like this chain? Not really.

Even when I was in primary school, I was always a maverick, somewhat resentful when teachers set some rules on us students and when I saw teacher doing something that we were not allowed to do according to their rules.  I could sense a degree of unfairness. As a growup, I became more sensitive toward any hint of rules upon me. I feel it difficult to make myself accept disrespect and distrust. I know how bad I can be.

Ideally, if children could do the right thing by themselves and had the logical thinking ability to follow the right path like my children, I am better off without ever thinking about any rules.