It is a rather rough week so far with one monitor on Tuesday and two on Wed and Thurs and three on Friday. One of my colleagues left last Friday, her replacement from another site came on Wednesday, busy getting herself familiar with the cases.  The worst part of the week so far was yesterday morning when a colleague told me what the monitor said of me — “She could have got this or that done but she did not, etc.”  If the monitor did not know better, the colleague should know how under-staffed our team is lately and how much I have been working on.  The department manager came over to the site and wrote to me about this since I had left at 3:45 PM.  There were so much not-so-nice gossips behind my back. All because I have been nice to them and they think I am an easy ball to kick around.

The funny part is they were talking about the patient that I should have worked on and this patient turned out to be the patient under the care of the one who just left.  Outside my realm of responsibilities.  Get it?  They blame me for something that has nothing to do with me!  Good job but wrong target.  What would be their next accusation against me?  I am badly intrigued.

For my children, I would be a liar if I said I was not disturbed by all this unfairness and unpleasantness going on around me. Yet, I have been able to focus on the important things in my life and move on as happily as I can.  It is extremely important not to succumb yourself to the toxic environment that you find yourself in. When you know backstabbing is indecent, you will not do it even if everybody around is doing it all the time.

You need expertise to do your job well, but you need a lot more in your character to be decently happy and productive at work.  There are two terms in Chinese, zuo shi, zue ren.  You need to do good things and be good person at the same time.