When my son was in elementary school, he liked to play very much, in fact too much for his teacher, who couldn’t help telling me about it. My son learned of it.  I thought he must feel awful and grewsome having teacher tell on him.  Instead of telling him what I thought, I asked him of his thought.  It turned out his cheeks were thicker than I thought. He felt far less heavy-hearted than I did. He knew what was wrong and promised to do better.  A breeze instead of a storm.

       I patted on my back for not telling him how I felt. What would he react if I informed him with this, “You must feel awful. I feel miserable for you, too. Don’t worry your head off. It is ok to make mistakes as long as you acknowledge and correct it”?  I don’t have the answer to this question, but I am sure he would unnecessarily feel differently had I said it to him.

       From this I realized on the same issue we parents might feel and think differently from the children.  Children might learn to fear or worry simply because we tell them not to fear or worry, which is like a hint to them that they should fear.

       In one word, from my experience, whatever that might mean to you, it is wise for us parents not to ascribe our own feelings of worries or anxiety or fear or any negative feelings to the children.  Have my words got lost in some readers’ minds? Or should I ever ask this question to get you lost?