Early this morning, someone and her cousin got into a verbal fight, with each opposing each other’s weakness — she on his English and he on her Chinese.  This would eventually accelerate into exchanges of fists. A rough way to start a Sunday. With great patience, I talked, reasoned, pleased, and even threatened to leave the house for the rest of the day. Nothing worked. They were too much locked in the fight. I felt my energy, patience and life being drained away over such a senselss trivia when I had plans for today.  I must show my teeth to stop it, otherwise they would not listen. So I did and off I went.

Not that I wanted to take this step, but that they must understand I meant what I said. And their undesirable behavior is not unconsequential. To be sure, this is really no big deal. What really unacceptable to me is seeing my daughter so stubbornly fixed her eyes on other people’s weak spot when she has a lot more important matters that need her immediate urgent attention.  Also, for the past few days, I have repeatedly drilled into her head the need to focus on the major not the minor things in life.

She understands that she does not feel good when her weak spot is poked by others. Then why does she poke other’s weakness?  While she knows my position and feeling on issues like this, she still insists on doing it. I don’t understand why.

It would give me tremendous pleasure if someone could ignore whatever petty offenses thrown on her way and have her eyes on bigger issues, like enhancing her skills and school performances, moving closer to her goal.  Lack of a goal to pursue, we are easily trapped and sidetracked by petty bickering like this.  Have I expected too much? Or is it reasonable to expect this of her?

I suddenly realize this kind of conflict is not that of cultural or generational, or is it?