Today I Learn… I make a point of learning something new everyday. This is what I learn each day

1, Aug 13, 2008

When the Child Refuses to Take NO

Filed under: children — admin @ 8:50 am

I found this truth never fails me. That is, the child will think you a mean mom if you say NO to him/her only once, even though you have said YES all the time. It’s like one drop of black ink will change the color of a cup of pure water. 

Well, parents cannot unconditionally give green lights all the time to the demand of a child. Saying NO is just part of the discipline that the child needs. I thought we adults got to outsmart the child.

First and foremost I try to anticipate what happens next, then try not to give the child the opportunity to challenge your sanity, like not taking the child to the store or have the child promise not to ask for anything if we go to the store.

I also find it helpful to avoid frontal attack or offense, especially dealing with a headstrong teenager. Instead of saying no directly, sometimes, I would ask my daughter what she would do if she cannot have it. Or, I would say, “if you buy this, you will have to give up that.” Or I would ask, “Am I still a good mom if I say no?” “Do you still love me if I don’t buy it for you?” Or I would tell her that I would give up my lunch for a week to satisfy her demand. Lucky for me that she does care if I say this.

Well, I cannot use the same mechanism all the time and have to think of something new.  Sometimes, I wish I knew more tactics.  Maybe it is time for me to go to school to get better equipped mentally.

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