My son would make your day utterly miserable when you pointed out the mistakes in his “home homework.”  That happened during his primary school years.  When he dashed through his homework and made tons of mistakes, I could not say anything for I knew his reactions to my criticism.  “Mom, at least I did it.  If you don’t want me to do it, I’m not going to do it at all.” he threw these words at me.

I knew he was a reasonable boy, so I reasoned with him. “Do you want me to be silent when I see you have done something incorrect? Don’t you want to learn from your mistakes and become smarter?” I asked. “Yes, but you said it again and again and I’m fed up with it,” he replied. “Ok, I promise I will say it once and you got to promise not to lose temper the first time I correct your mistakes.”

We both wrote down our promise. To this day, I still have his hand-written promise. However, the written promise had failed to help him keep his temper.  I needed to think of something else to buffer the effect of my unwelcome criticism.  So here’s the next trick.  I told my him, “Son, I have something to say but I dare not.”  He would encourage me to say it.  I would say, “Only if you promise not to throw a temper at me,” I said with a smile inside. “I promise,” he said seriously. 

That was how I approached him with his mistakes. Not long after that he happily outgrew his temper tantrums and transformed into a person with a much gentle nature.  I have learned that love alone won’t always make both you and your child happy; sometimes a little finesse could avoid a home-made World War III.