I talked with my sister about Gao Yanding and his education of his daughter.  I said, “If dad is really involved in the education of the youngster, most likely the child will be exceedingly successful.”  Look at Gao who laid out a blueprint of his daughter’s education and career advancement map and followed it through without any discount.  Indeed, he got what he originally shot for, unlike me who have to compromise and reconcile all the time.

My sister’s response opened my eye to some interesting phenomenon that I was not aware of before. She said, “Very often, dad made it a career or a huge project upon himself when it comes to the education of his child. He is often different from mom in his approach and the significance associated with education.  While moms tend to be more loving, dad more disciplining; mom more feeling while Dad more reasoning.”  She cited example of Lang Lang, Chinese pianist or “a genuine musical legend in the making.”  No wonder my children are so much in need of discipline.  I should have realized this.

While tender loving care provides the environment for a healthy psychological and emotional development, discipline makes character of the best steel which is badly needed in order to excel and stand out like Lang Lang.  It would be an ideal if the children grow up with both love and discipline from both parents or from one parent who plays both role.  But what would you choose if you cannot have both?