It would be more accurate to say “mistake and consequence.”  My son has read the book by Dostoevsky — Crime and Punishment.  I thought the most severe punishment is a self-imposed one. In fact, here’s the secret for us parents, self-imposed punishment is the easiest one for us.

I know how resentful my children are if I tell them the rule and the consequence for not following it.  If I say, “No computer for one week if you fail to …,” my daughter would try to bargain for less, asking “How about two days?”  Even if I agree with her on 2-day-no-computer, she still murmurs, “Mom is so mean.”

I really do not want to be the “bad guy.”  Therefore, I always ask them to tell me the consequence of any wrong doings.  If my daughter suggests 2-weeks-no-computer, I would say, “That’s too harsh. Let’s make it one week.” 

Trust me it always has happy ending for all.  Sometimes, I am even rewarded with these words “Mom is so nice.”  Indeed!