Don’t punish yourself with other’s inconsideration


It is a bright autumn day, a very comfortable day until I had these two encounters.

I went to Barnes & Noble’s today to check some books for a newborn baby, my idea of gift, no matter what age you are at.

I bought some cotton books for babies. The salesgirl told me I could save 20 percent if I signed up for $25 membership. I would have 20% instead of normal 10% membership saving if I signed up today. So I did.

When I was sitting in my car, I thought of CloudBit Starter Kit by littleBits Electronics, which I liked very much but was discouraged for its price. Even at 50% off now, I still see it an unnecessary luxury. But wait. Now with membership, I can get 70% off the original price. I should grab this deal.

So I went back to the store. After confirming with the same salesgirl that 20% would be taken off whatever I bought today, I went back to grab the CloudBit Starter Kit, already feeling guilty for this indulgence.

When the salesgirl told me the final cost, I thought she made a mistake. It doesn’t sound like 20% off. She told me it was correct and I couldn’t get 20% off clearance goods, which was not true. Because I did get one from my previous purchase that day.

She talked fast and sounded rather impatient, which made me very comfortable, as if I caused her to be so unpleasant to me. When she asked if I wanted it, I said “Oh, forget it,” and left the store.

As I drove back home, her unpleasant manner and attitude were with me all the time. I couldn’t sweep it out of my mind.

Unbeknown to me, more unpleasant thing was waiting for me.

When I approached the front door, I saw the pot that I asked to be returned sitting at there. “Why didn’t she contact me before coming over?” I searched my cell phone and wechat to see if she had contacted me for this visit. She always does. No, not this time.

So I wrote to her, “You came over today when I was at the bookstore. When are you leaving for China?” She didn’t reply. Of course.

About two weeks ago, I gave her husband some plants. But I forgot to tell them to return to me the fig plant pot after re-potting. So I wrote to her later, asking if I could have the pot back after they re-potted the plant.

That pot is actually the best one that I have now. So I thought it better that I tell her this honestly. To my surprise, she sounded unhappy when I asked. The fact that she came today without telling me beforehand only confirmed my previous feeling.

For a moment I was tortured by a wretched feeling. I can’t say I don’t care. Then I realize that I have done nothing wrong. They threw bad attitude toward me without caring how I feel. It is actually they who should feel bad now.

Finally I told myself that I should stop punishing myself for other’s inconsideration.



The Fountain of Youth is inside you and me


A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age. -Sophia Loren, actor and singer (b. 20 Sep 1934) 



Thinking vs watching vs doing


When you do nothing but thinking, everything is a problem to you.
When you do nothing but watching, you are forever an onlooker.
The solution will start to take shape only when you start doing something.
Remember a problem will not go away by itself.
—ywx



Action is better than inaction; Be humble is better than swaggering


I wrote some notes a few weeks ago, left them there and forgot where I picked them. Here are some of them.

1. In most cases, action is better than inaction; decision is better than without.
2. Work with people who complement you, not with people who are like you
3. Be humble, no swaggering. Be yourself.
4. Try to have a good mood everyday. Mood is not your life, but it can definitely influence your life, for better or for worse. Very often you don’t lose to others. You lose to your own mood.

I wrote to two of my former colleagues/friends today. One returned to me immediately with contagious excitement. The other not. We were in the same office for half a year prior to my leaving. This is the second time that I wrote to her without a response. I guess I have lost her. Sad. Flowers blossom and fade on their own. That’s life.



Things that can hurt you, potentially


Among many things that can do huge damages to you in the long run, here are some that young people should not ignore.

(1) You don’t know what you want to do with your life. That is, you don’t have a goal in life.
(2) You tend to be pessimistic. When you always think “It’s impossible,” you place a limit on what you can do.
(3) You can’t persist to the end. You give up halfway when things get tough.
(4) You lack objective self-evaluation. That is, you don’t know yourself, your strength and weakness.
(5) You rely too much on others. You are not independent enough to be on your own, mentally and psychologically.
(6) You are hesitant and indecisive, spending too much time balancing cost and benefit. You dare not risk taking a step into the unknown, the unfamiliar. You remain in your comfort zone as long as you can.
(7) You indulge too much in the past and regrets, which only ends up wasting your time and life.
(8) You try to avoid headaches and problems. Problems won’t go away by themselves. Often you experience a leap forward by taking on challenges in life.



Remembering my father, 30 years have passed



7/11/1987, 30 years have passed since my father left us. I can’t believe 30 years have gone and I feel like I still can’t get over the loss.

Today my old classmate shared some of her travel pictures with me. Above is one of them. For some reason, I think my father would love this picture. It looks so quiet, peaceful, sunny and green, as if life should be like this. I wish he could see it.

Here’s to my father. I remember what you taught me when I was young. I will always keep this in mind. I will try my best to live up to your expectation, to be the person you wanted me to.



An unforgettable meeting with an old friend


It’s been nearly two weeks since I came back from China. I was in China between 4/4 and 6/20. While I was in China, I had many gatherings with friends and old classmates. Some I met more than once.

I met up with Bin at 11:30 on 6/3/2017, our second meeting. We initially planned to meet at Fangjia hutong, but we changed the place because it was too crowded with a wedding activity. We ended up in a small coffee shop on Beixinqiao avenue, close to san-tiao.

Before saying goodbye, he gave me some advice. He said I am at the best time in my life–free from financial worries, free from parental responsibilities, free from physical constraints, free to do whatever I want to do previously but was held back due to this or that reason.

That’s so true! I keep asking myself this question: what is it that I want to do? I know I still have a lot to contribute and to share with. I have this or that plan. But what is it that I’m so passionate about? Teaching? But where? Writing?

In order not to waste time, I have been pouring efforts on Italian language since I came back.

Time is running out like crazy. I need to roll up my sleeves now. More on this later.



Happy birthday, my daughter!


Today is my daughter’s birthday. Like her brother, ever since she left for college, she has been celebrating her birthday with her friends, away from home. She told me her friends came over last weekend, one for spring break, one for a job interview. They had some gathering both for friends reunion and for her birthday, which was so wonderful! I’m so happy for her. I miss both of my great children. Here’s a birthday balloon picture that I made for her.



Happy Birthday, my son!


Today is my son’s birthday. He and his girlfriend fly to Sweden for his birthday. He talked to me via facetime from the airport. Ever since he left home for college in 2007, he started having his birthday with his friends. It’s been 10 years. I am so happy for him! I’m so glad that he is always surrounded with friends, and he is able to create a home-away-from-home. I’m happy, as long as he is happy. I miss my children, especially on their birthday. Here’s a birthday cake for him!



Things you cannot overdo


Here are something that you’d better not overdo:
(1) Social media: it is better to make connections with people who provide support, instead of racking up the biggest number of friends

(2) Parenting: avoid coddling your children, allow them to experience healthy failure that you can grow and learn from.

(3) Housing: don’t obsess over square footage. Not bigger is better. Bigger means more expensive in heating, cooling, cleaning, and of course money.



Can we create more from what we already have or get more from less?


This is what I read at Barnes & Nobel’s on 2/25/2017. Below is the note from reading Time magazine.

“The science of stretching offers an effective alternative for us to do more without getting more, see potential rather than worrying about perceived limitations.

The habit of stretching readies us to work through the challenges. With too many resources, we become distracted by our accumulations, focus on the wrong goals, become wasteful of what we do have already.”

I have to add something else here. Sometimes when we are surrounded by too much stuffs, more than we need, we are rendered unable to enjoy life. We have to spend time organizing stuffs, trying to decide which we will keep and which we will dispose. The more time we have to spend on our stuffs, the less time we have for our life, the more miserable we feel, the more we wish we had not bought them home in the first place! Lesson learned too late!

Question for ourselves: what can I do with what I already have, instead of waiting to get more in order to do more?

Stop comparing with others! Sometimes, it is difficult to be productive and content with what you have when you are constantly making comparison with others.



Your character determines your destiny


You are responsible for the direction of your life’s journey. Don’t blame others when you become adults.
Your experiences are the most valuable asset of yours, especially when you hunt for jobs.
Your character determines your destiny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I thought of this today. It sounds true even though I forgot where I read it.



Thought on the practice of foot binding


It’s easy to see the physical harm and the restriction of mobility inflicted by the foot binding practice in ancient China. What is not easy to perceive is the mental binding and restrictions that we feel every day — the pressure to conform and the fear of taking a path that is different from the majority, the fear of the risk and the unknown, the fear of missing out.

It is easy to say that we are not the slaves of others, that we don’t copy others. What is difficult is to express our own thoughts instead of echoing those of others, to follow our own passion instead of doing things because this is what you are told to do.

It is okay that we do things like the nursery rhyme when we were little, but we have to tell ourselves that we got to graduate from nursery days when we are adults.

This is the way we wash our face,
Wash our face, wash our face.
This is the way we wash our face,
So early in the morning.

This is the way we comb our hair,
Comb our hair, comb our hair.
This is the way we comb our hair,
So early in the morning.

This is the way we brush our teeth
Brush our teeth, brush our teeth.
This is the way we brush our teeth
So early in the morning.

This is the way we put on our clothes,
Put on our clothes Put on our clothes
This Is The Way
This is the way we put on our clothes,
So early in the morning.



Thought for the day: Keep up this upbeat searching spirit everyday


There are many factors that contribute to lifelong success, success beyond high school and college. One of them is an upbeat, searching spirit, the entrepreneur spirit, seeking opportunities to get things done, or create opportunities for you and others, to harness your creative mind and energy to create and serve, create service, create products, company, etc.

Keep up this spirit, let yourself be guided by it, no matter what you do and where you are.



From my office to my home office


Months before I left my office, I took down all these from the wall of my office. I didn’t throw them away immediately. How I love these words. Today I copied them down once again, saved it on my computer and posted them here.



Answer to the root of happiness, Five happiness traits


I have been wondering why I seem happier than some people that I met. Now I found the answer from this article, “The 5 Personality Traits That Make for a Better Life” Not surprise that I find myself high on all five traits.

Here are the five traits from the article:
1. Enthusiasm
2. Low withdrawal
3. Industriousness
4. Compassion
5. Intellectual curiosity
Enthusiasm: This is a trait defined by such phrases as “has a lot of fun” and “laughs a lot,” and so it is not surprising that the human golden retrievers who score high in enthusiasm would also report leading more enjoyable lives. This aspect of personality falls under extroversion, and as such, it also has to do with how you relate to others: enthusiastic people tend to make friends easily, and they warm up quickly to others. They also tend to get carried away by their excitement.

Low withdrawal: This is rather inelegantly named, as it’s primarily defined by what it isn’t. Withdrawal is an aspect of neuroticism, and people who are high in this trait have an uneasy relationship with themselves — they are easily embarrassed, easily overwhelmed, and easily discouraged. A low score in this trait makes for a better life (which, of course, makes a lot of sense).

Industriousness: Here’s where this new paper starts getting interesting, particularly for those of us who find ourselves drawn to the life-hacker-y corners of the internet. According to this paper, the getting-shit-done personality also tends to be linked to greater well-being. Industriousness is a side of conscientiousness, and it’s marked by a tendency toward planning ahead, working hard, and finishing what you start, without wasting time or getting distracted in the process. Leave me to my lists; I am happiest with them.

Compassion: This is an aspect of agreeableness, and it describes the sort of person who is interested in other people’s lives and problems, and who likes to do little acts of kindness for loved ones and strangers alike. An interest in others’ well-being seems to spell good things for your own. Who knew?

Intellectual curiosity: This is a trait defined by a love of complex problems, difficult books, and meandering philosophical conversations. People with intellectual curiosity — a facet of openness in the original Big Five — are quick learners and thinkers, with rich vocabularies and the capacity to handle high volumes of information at once. Curiosity about the world around you turns out to predict your happiness within it.



Health advice to my children


Today I read about this in Chinese. I thought of sharing them with my children. So, here’s the English version on health.

1. On health, nurture works better than nature. You might inherit longevity gene from your parents, but you won’t be able to carry on this gene if you don’t take good care of your body. Nurture means a healthy lifestyle with diverse food intake and daily exercise.

2. Overnutrition is a form of malnutrition.

3. Getting mad or upset or low spirit or sad or depressed hurts your body as much as a disease does.

4. Getting drunk damages your liver like an attack of acute liver infection.

5. Family disharmony is detrimental to your health.

6. Loneliness hurts people more than poverty.



Volunteer high school English writing starting 2017


Today is the first week that I am totally free since I quit my last position. Last Monday we drove to K-State, last Tuesday I sent my sister back to Beijing. Last Thursday I participated in Blue Valley Multi-culture festival, involved in both teaching and fund raising using my origami skill. In the late afternoon, I went to Edward Jones office.

Here are things that I have done today.
1. Called health insurance on vision benefit
2. Called Shawnee Mission School District about volunteering, tutoring English class, talked to Katie, 993-6411, SMSD volunteer manager, and Erin Burvee, the south social worker. Erin told me she would contact English teachers to find out if there’s a need for it, and would get back to me. I have not heard from her by the end of the day.
3. Continued reading Neapolitan Novels
4. Walked to neighborhood Walmart
5. Fasting since last night, first time to see how I take it.
6. Helped Jiadi with T-Mobile online payment
7. Went to JCPenny to get eye glasses for the other adult in the evening



New Year Resolutions — 2017


This is the first draft.

New Year Resolution 2017

Rules for myself:
1. Get up no later than 6:30 in the morning
2. Use Timer as soon as I sit down either reading or writing or on the computer
3. Socializing only on weekend (email, facebook, LinkedIn, wechat)
4. Watch my time, avoid spending too much time on something meaningless.
5. Do not purchase anything other than edibles without the absolute need for it.

Must do daily:
1. Read one joke per day
2. Stretch/swing 5 minutes each morning
3. Walk at least 30 minutes
4. Formulate one exercise and do it once a day

Must do this year:
1. Learn one German song per month
2. Read at least one book per month
3. Memorize one poem per month
4. Write at least one article per month
5. Fasting for one day per week, each Monday.
6. Volunteer maximum two hours per day
7. Learn a new skill, e.g. drawing

Personal Improvement:
1. Hear other people out without interrupting and without jumping to conclusion
2. Try not to raise my voice no matter how upset I might be

To be continued…



My last email to the work place on 12/30/2016


I sent it out the minute before I left for that office permanently today. Great feeling!



Leaving a workplace on the best possible term


resignation-email
I sent out this one today, finally. I felt so great after I did it!



You first need to please one person — YOU


I wrote this great piece today. Please go to LinkedIn to leave your comments.

About two weeks ago, we learned that our manager’s husband is very ill. I know her parents have passed away and she doesn’t have any children of her own. So when I think of the coming holiday season, the time of family gathering, I feel like reaching out to her and letting her know that we care, even though she is a rather private person. I shared the idea with a colleague of mine and went out to get her a blank thinking-of-you card.

After I got the card, I typed these words on a piece of paper, printed and pasted it on the card– “… hopefully, knowing that someone cares will help you going through the difficult time in your life….” Both of my colleague and I signed on the card, then I emailed to a colleague at another location, asking her if anyone wanted to sign the card.

This week that colleague of mine wrote to the whole team, “I was wondering what (if anything) the … staff has done for [our manager] in the past around the holidays?” The ideas of sending the boss this or that gift rushed in.

Giving the manager a holiday gift? We have never done anything like this before. I feel uncomfortable doing it simply because she is the boss. No one ever gives me, a rank and file employee, anything on holiday, even though I have more than once gone out of my way to help. It disturbed me even more when I thought of the fact that the team had done nothing when another colleague’s mother passed away. Not that they didn’t know. The double practice brings to my mind words like curry favor with, ingratiating, efforts to please the superior.

Make no mistake that we all start our lives trying to please others like our parents so that we can be taken good care of when we are too small to survive on our own. I remember clearly that I was so eager to make my parents happy by trying to do well at school, even though I seldom did well there. Also years ago when I got back from office, the first words that my son shouted out to me through the door were like this, “Mom, I got another 100!” I was very pleased that he cared so much to please me. But still I keep telling my children that I am pleased as long as they are pleased with themselves.

As we grow into adulthood, we realize that we have our own journey to cover, and our own dreams and passion to fulfill and to follow. Pleasing others is no longer the priority because we no longer latch on other’s pleasure for our happiness. We create our own happiness through our own accomplishments and attainments. In adulthood, it is crucial that we understand that we need to please ourselves first if we want to please others. If you are not happy with yourself, it is difficult to make others happy.

Of course, I am not naive to the point of not knowing modern day politicians. Pleasing voters at any cost is just the means to their end. Their end is winning the election. Winning makes them happy. Perhaps, gift-giving to one’s boss alone is also a means to an end, ulterior or not.



If you need a good laugh, read H.L. Mencken


On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. H. L. Mencken

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out… without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.



Introducing Zhongshi Chen’s Modern Classic, White Deer Plain


I wrote this great book review and published on Critical Flame.

I am not sure how large is the readership on this book review. It won’t make much sense if you have not read the original novel, White Deer Plain. Since there is no English version of the novel, only those who can read in Chinese can possibly read this, which makes readership even smaller.

Another discouraging fact is in this age of mobile technology, people don’t have time for long novel like this. They don’t have time for even short essays like what I posted on LinkedIn. The age of no deep reading. It is what it is.



Doing what you preach: teaching local Chinese kids, making Xmas ornaments…


I went to Blue Valley library today to teach a group of Chinese kids making Christmas ornaments, like the ones I posted on 11/17/2016. I remember the words that I kept telling my children when they were small, if you are smart and want to mean something to others, do one thing — help others. Whatever you know, whatever you have means nothing to others, if you don’t share with others, if you are selfish… I am glad that I have lived up to what I once preached, exemplify the virtue that I want my children to possess.

I only hope the children were teenagers or little ones with their parents around helping them. It took too long to get anything across with the little ones. I don’t think I have achieved what I had planned. I wish I have the virtue of patience. I’d like to work with teenagers, sharing with them both skills and ideas. But I guess by teenage years, kids feel like above doing things like this. They might not like listening to adults at all. That’s life.



Three salient features of Poor man’s mentality


I wrote this wonderful piece a few days ago. Please go to LinkedIn to leave your comments. Thank you.

People are likely to associate mentality of the poor with the real poor who have no plan of getting out of government assistance. But in reality this mentality is found not just among the real poor. It exists within many who are in the range of middle class. It is the mentality that traps people where they are for decade after decade, leading them to be surrounded by a pile of poor man’s junks.

Number one salient feature of this mentality is they don’t know the value of time, in that they value money more than time. They are willing to save money at the cost of spending extra time. They let time pass without gaining any tangible and intangible value. In a way, we all trade our time for money when we go to work every day. Very often, how much value we can extract from our time at office is not entirely up to us to decide. Some people have to take a day job for basic sustainability so that they can work on their day dreams as soon as the day job is over. There are always something that we can control in regard to our time. Here are some examples.

An IT guy who works in the neighborhood of Overland Park Convention Center lives north of the Missouri River. He spends an hour and half daily on the road. He told me that he would not be able to buy a large house like his in Overland Park. Never mind about the cost of daily gas and the stress on the road. I would say he exhibits the mentality of the poor when he tries to save money by squandering extra driving time every day. The thought process must be like this– while time is free, large house costs more. He would trade his free time for the costly house.

Influenced by this mentality, he finds it hard to part with his money and would grab anything that is free. Here’s what he doesn’t realize: the free time is not unlimited. With money, he earns, spends and can earn it back; but not with time. Always keep this in mind — time is the only thing in life that we have less and less.

It is because they don’t value the free yet limited resource that they don’t invest wisely their time to generate more values or assets. People waste something that is the most valuable one in life.

There is another case where a friend of mine drove us around the town in Los Angeles to find sale beef. For a ridiculously insignificant amount of saving, we spent like an hour checking in and out grocery stores. It even seems comical.

Number two of poor man’s mentality is to trade health for money. Like when people work strenuously or sit there for so long that they won’t stop until they are struck down by illness. They don’t know how to extend their life span by investing in some fitness activity or by stopping working when they should. Whatever they earned is not enough to pay their medical bills or to bring back their health and enable them to enjoy life. What a short-sighted idiocy!

Number three is to bring home sale items or free stuffs even if he doesn’t need them. Nothing is free. Everything he brings home takes up his time and space. Once again this mentality leads people to trade their time with some cheap or free stuff that they don’t really need, and later on they will have to spend some time to decide how to dispose it, like selling them at garage sale. Gradually they end up being collectors of poor man’s junks and their lifetime will be an endless cycle of junk collection and junk disposal. How pathetic!

My 85-year-old mother knows best. She keeps telling me, “Don’t bring back anything from America. They are all made in China. If I need, I can get it cheaper here. More important, I don’t need anything.” I know what she needs most. My time. Good luck on this.



Men, you don’t have to follow the masculine norms, it’s for your own mental health


I read this article today. I cannot say that there is a definite association between masculine norms and man’s mental health. But I can say for sure that the society-enforced masculine norms are unnatural. And anything unnatural is detrimental to our health. Take for example self-reliance. On the one hand, it is great that we are financially independent, that we don’t have to be seeking daily assistance; on the other hand, we are social beings. From time to time, we rely on each other emotionally, psychologically, and financially. It would be unnatural if a man tries to appear like a superman when he is not.

The title of the article is “Being sexist could harm men’s health, study suggests”

The article starts this way, “Men who have “playboy” attitudes and believe in power over women may face a higher risk for mental health trouble than men who don’t, a broad new research review suggests.”

The findings from the studies that involved nearly 19,500 predominantly white male participants include:
(1) “the more that men conformed to masculine norms the poorer their mental health, and the less likely they were to seek mental health services… men who adhere to masculine norms are generally in a worse state of mental health, and less motivated to seek psychological help.”
(2) “self-reliance was the trait most strongly associated with worse psychological outcomes.”
(3) “masculine norms was more likely to be associated with being lonely, hostile or having problems socializing than it was to a risk for depression.”

The study defines “masculine norms” as
— the desire to win;
— to retain emotional control;
— to take risks;
— to engage in violence;
— to exert dominant behavior;
— to participate in a “playboy” lifestyle;
— to be self-reliant;
— to elevate work to the highest level of importance;
— to retain power over women;
— to maintain a disdain for homosexuals;
— and to pursue “status.”



Christmas for the needy families


Our clinic participates in adopting a needy family during this holiday season. Below are the items that they need. It gives me a sad feeling when I go through the list. I think of my children and miserable I would be if I wasn’t able to provide them with what they needed when they were small.

Mom Age 32
· Wears size M Shirt
· Wears 12/13 Pants
· Wears Shoes size 9
· Coat Size Large
daughter Age 12
· Wears size L Shirt
· Wears 14 youth pants
· Wears Shoes size 9
· Favorite Color RED
daughter Age 2
· Wears size 4-5t Shirt
· Wears size 4-5t Pants
· Wears Shoes size 10 Toddlers
· Loves Disney Princesses, Peppa Pig & Mickey Mouse
· Favorite Colors PINK & PURPLE

Items that are needed/requested:
1. Coats
2. Gloves
3. Toddler Bedding
4. Twin Bedding
5. King Bedding (Earth tones/Black/White/Grey Preferred)
6. Sweatpants
7. Underwear (Size 7)
8. Shirts
9. Pants
10. Gift Cards for the Teenager (Target/Walmart/etc.)
11. Toys/Dolls for Toddler (Disney princess preferred)



The highest insult at workplace


I wrote and posted this one today while at work.

1. Unappreciative of Efforts
2. Lack Recognition and Respect
3. Constant Criticism
4. Expect Employees to Be Like Them
5. Hypocrisy
6. Delegate Too Much – or Not Enough
7. Micromanagement
8. Manipulative
9. Don’t Value Employees

What an awful list! Two years ago when I read Glenn Lopis’ article “9 Ways Leaders Insult Their Employees,” I thought who, in his/her right mind, would do these to his/er employees, like hypocrisy, manipulative? Get real! Not in my wildest dreams!

I have seen micromanagement. It is called super responsibility in my vocabulary. I have no complaint about it as long as the manager takes responsibility for whatever under his micro.

Many of the items in the list look like the same thing to me, like appreciation, recognition, respect and value. Of course, appreciation and recognition encourage people to keep doing what they have done. But what difference does it make if you are paid adequately? We are old enough not to crave for recognition, and we won’t do a shoddy job even if we are not duly appreciated. Respect? It would be nice if you are truly respected. But how do you know it’s genuine or not? I can live without it. What matters most is you are treated legally, that is, without any form of discrimination.

To me, the highest workplace insult for someone, who is the key player in a team and who should play the leading role in a project, is assigned a subordinate position and is told to play second fiddle to an outsider who doesn’t know what he is talking about and who interferes in whatever the key player does.

Readers, what is the highest insult that you have experienced at your workplace? Go to LinkedIn to post your comments.



The season of giving … share the joy of origami with patients, colleagues and all….


I made over 50 of origami ornaments and donated them to our clinic. These will be sold at $4 each and the proceeds from the sale will go to benefit some needy families during the holiday season. I felt like breathing a sigh of relief when I finally handed them over. It’s a few months in the making. I have realized that it takes more time on my part than simply handing out some cash. It’s not that I have more time than money but the fact that I wish to share with people the joy of origami. I am sure the joyful color will bring festivity to the season.

This is one of the reasons that I’d like to involve in teaching teenagers. As the saying goes, many hands make light work. No fear of spoiling the soup.
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